I smell like cookies...

No, really! Yummy sexy cookies. I think I like it...

You see, it's summertime. And getting hot. And sometimes it is nice to wear something sleeveless... One problem - I am pale. Not just white, mind you... I'm talking translucent here. Damn near blue...

And just between you and me - bluish white skin should stay covered up. Really. It is not all that attractive in shorts and a tank-top and I am pretty sure that it gives people headaches to look at. (What?? Everybody knows that!)

Anyway, I am also unwilling to "lay out" in the sun... I HATE laying out - always have. I get a headache, I hate to be hot, I always end up either underdone or overdone, and then there is the whole skin cancer thing. Some how I just don't see the appeal! And where the hell would I find the time??

Also, I am afraid of what I like to call the big blue coffin... Also known as a "Tanning Bed." First, there is the whole prospect of willingly getting into a glowing blue coffin - that just seems inherently wrong to me. Then there are the thoughts of all the others who have laid in the "coffin" before me... sweating... breathing... cooking tanning... ugh.

Salon/spa spray on tan?? Sorry, I'm cheap. It doesn't last long and costs $$$. Besides, didn't you see that Friends episode where Ross only gets sprayed on one side?? I did - and that's just the sort of thing that would happen to me. And if you do it at home, you inevitably turn yourself orange... Orange is *not* my color.

Self tanning lotions?? Well, there is still the danger of turning your self orange, which sucks. And I seem to be mildly allergic to them all anyway. Nobody wants to be orange and itchy...

But this stuff?? Brown Sugar it's called. One of those "I'll just buy something that's less than $20..." from a friend's "spa party."

I must admit - it's fabulous.

Smells good, gives me just a lightly toasted sunkissed hue, doesn't stain my clothes.... It's perfect.


And it really does look like dessert! See???

Cookies. Yummy, sexy cookies. And maybe I can stop blinding people...

That's nothing but good.

Ask and ye shall receive....

So in the comments of yesterday's Brain Bender, VW from One Happy Dog Speaks asked when we were going to have another math based puzzle from the handy dandy discount MENSA calendar. Well, VW - here we go!

----------------

Bill is twice as old as Allison was four years ago. In six years, Allison will be twice as old as Bill was four years ago. Neither is yet a teenager.

How old are they now?

-----------------

All this "age" worry this week.... SarahK is concerned about turning 30 (Happy Birthday SarahK!).

Personally, I have loved my 30's best - and hell, I got carded the other day at the airport even! It's all good...

Anyhoo, you know what to do... The answers will be found in the comments later. I am off to Home Depot with A. to buy rock. I swear, only in America would we think it's a good idea to *buy* rock. Heh. I love being an American...

Update: Today's official smartypants is Teresa from Technicalities! Whoohoo!

Filed under DUH....

So yesterday at about 5pm my internet connection failed. "Oh well," I thought - big storms were rolling through the area... "No biggie. It will be back up and running in no time.... "

5:30 nada

6:00 zip

6:20
6:30
6:45 nuthin'

Hmmmmmmm....

7:05 "Oh well. Time to clean the kitchen and start bath time anyway..."

8:02 "Crap! This is really taking a while... "

8:30 WTF???

8:43 "This is freeking ridiculous.... How much do I pay these people anyway!?!?!? Where is that 1-800 number..... "

8:52 "Hmmmm.... no "service area down" recording at the 1-800 number..." :^0

**percussion therapy for cable modem**

8:58 happy lights

*shit*

Note to self - try "percussion therapy" (a.k.a. abruptly tapping/banging the SOB on a firm surface) first next time.....

**sigh**

The Brain Bender returneth...

So whew, the Brain Bender is back! Did you miss me?? I have to say a big Thank You to Rachel from Pereiraville for hosting the time waste-age puzzlers at her place.

Okay, ready to play?? Here we go!

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What two words, formed from different arrangements of the same six letters, can be used to complete the sentences below?

The art dealer was very ________. He recognized immediately that the mess in front of him, covered in mud and grime, was actually a long lost ________.

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Alrighty then, you know how to play. The answers will be found in the comments later!

Update: Rachel from Pereiraville is appropriately our winner! Whoohoo! : )

Simple Pleasures

I mean really, is there anything better than getting to sleep in your own bed after you have been away??

Okay.... Maybe getting big hugs from your family upon your return is pretty damn good too. The girls were all aglow and atwitter to see me. WxMan seemed both pleased and relieved. (I should go away more often! Maybe...)

And discovering that your hubby has not only kept the house clean - but put fresh sheets on the bed and ensured that the dishes were done just so you could walk in to an orderly house. That was nice. Above and beyond actually...

Now, if I could just find a way to make buffalo chicken agree with me too... I'd be set for life.

It's good to be home.

Headed home...

Well, I am a little better than halfway home. Gotta love having wifi access when you have a 2.5 hour layover too... Technology is a wonderful thing. And the fact that I am seated in a nice pub enjoying a pint of Guinness and the world cup - even better.

It was a good trip. I accomplished everything that I had hoped too and maybe a bit more. Not to say that I wasn't very sad to leave, but my job was done there for the time being. And as a friend told me not long ago, you can only do what you can do.... No more than that.

I am going to kick back and enjoy my time on the ground (flying is *SO* not my favorite. It will be so good to sleep in my own bed tonight.

Thanks for all of the well wishes (and the "no crash pass," Harvey) they are appreciated.

Regular blogging to resume shortly. (Whatever that means...)

Update: Oh jeez... I almost forgot. I got carded while ordering my pint. Heh. That was quite nice... After you turn 35 that's *always* nice.

Winging my way West....

Well, I'm off.... Hoping to help in a hopeless situation. But it feels good to be going none the less....

Rachel from Pereiraville has agreed to guest host the daily Brain Bender (from the handy dandy discount MENSA calendar) so please click on over to her place if you would like to play.

I will have the laptop with me and will be blogging if time (and circumstance) will allow.... Scroll down for new content.

And, as always, peace be with you...

(Oh lordy, I hate to fly... Please let it not me *my* time to go... Nor the guy next to me.... Hmmmmkay?)

Arrived safely....

Lots of work to be done, and I am glad to be able to help.

Ben is.... well.... hanging in there. He is happy that I am here.

Not much else to report. Thanks, y'all for your kind wishes.

But hey, does anybody know why my blog content has fallen to the bottom of the page?? It wasn't like that before I left.... Any clues?? (See.... this is the kind of crap I *want* to be worried about - instead of real problems).

Do I have "sucker" written across my forehead?

Hooooo-boy. The girls are totally beside themselves with glee. Why?? Because after ENDLESS negotiation and multiple promises to be the best kids *ever*...

"We will keep out room clean for a week! I promise... We won't fight or anything for the rest of the day! Okay, the rest of the week! I'll do the dishes for you, Mommy! We will do all our chores while you are gone! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!!! Please can we have some??"

Oh my God. And I let them get it. Floam. It's like mutant play-doh from hell on 'roids. It must have happened.... I think I may have finally lost my ever lovin' mind.

Squish it! Squash it! Mash it! Mold it! Mix it! Smoosh it! Bounce it! Make cool stuff with it! Incredible colors! Crazy textures! No glue, No mess!

That's what it says right on the package... No mess. Yeah, right. Whatever. They are still going to have to play with it outside. No mess my ass. I may have lost my mind but I'm not stupid...

I just hope that it lives up to a little of the hype... Holy crap.

Ready to play?

I am running around trying to get things squared away so I can zoom outta here tomorrow, but all I want to do is play.... Go figure.

Oh well, you can play instead.... Here is today's Brain Bender.

----------------------

How many common English words can you make from the letters below, using all six letters once in each word? What are the words?

A E L P S T

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Okay, you know how to play! The answers (like always) will be found in the comments later.

Update: We have several winners and an honorable mention today... Friend and reader Rich Blank shares smartypants honors with Teresa from Technicalities, and Rave from Quid Nunc. And I have to give some props to my Mom "Grandy" who had six of the seven corrrect answers.... Whoohoo! Thanks for playin' y'all...

Holy cow!

Huh... You know, somehow watching this makes me feel safer for some reason. No idea why, but "safer" is a good feeling so I am going to just go with it....


Truck = 65,000 lbs. Speed = 50 mph

Incredible... I always figured that those barriers would provide "some" stopping power - but that is above and beyond anything I would have expected...

H/T Loretta & Dal

Umpteen lame-o titles later....

Here is today's Brain Bender....

------------------

What four letter word can be placed in the blanks below to make four different words?

• ______RAIT
• ______ABLE
• ______RAY
• ______END

---------------------

Okay, that's it! The answer will be found in the comments later.

Update: Today's winner and official smartypants is CalTechGirl from Not Exactly Rocket Science! Whoohoo! And she has a terrific Dixie Shits Chicks rant here. Oh yeah, I question little Natalie's patriotism.... Especially since she apparently *has* none... Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out Natalie, honey. I hear the weather in France is nice this time of year. You should think about relocating...

Oh what the hell...

I have seen this all over the place.... CalTechGirl, Mrs. Who, and others that I can't quite put my finger on.... I might as well play too.

Too funny!!

Your Bumper Sticker Should Be

Ass, gas, or grass - no one rides for free

What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car?

Oh yeah.... That works... ; )

I've decided....

....I need a clone. That's just all there is too it. Too much to do and only one of me to get it done. Sheesh!

Anyway, while I run off to watch youngest play in her first softball game, I'll leave you with today's Brain Bender. Ready??

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Word jumble. Unscramble the letters below to form a rather supernatural word.

M S T A A N F S

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Okay, you know how to play. The answer will be found in the comments later. Oh! And if you feel so inclined to make up a word + definition, I will award creativity points. Have fun!

Update: Oddybobo is our official smartypants today. Whooohoo! And Akshun J. thinks he can help me get cloned! Hmmmm.... Something to consider, for sure.

God, I love the smell of fresh cut grass...

While sitting on my patio, sipping on a cocktail, while the fountain burbles away....

Just sayin'...

Pass the cigars!

.....Or hey, what do women pass when the have produced offspring?? Oh, that's right. They first pass *out* and then begin passing *judgment.* Well, that's not nearly as fun as cigars... But a cigar doesn't sound all that good right this minute. Hmmm...

How about cheesecake instead!

Mmmmm... Now that's a better way to celebrate!

Celebrate what?? The fact that I am a BlogMother! Whoohoo!

My good friend Roses has decided to dip her toes into the pools of blogdom. I've loaned her my floaties and hooked her up with Harvey's handy dandy list of blogging tips, she's ready to roll.

May I introduce, Ack! Thibbbt!

This is the result of many weeks of my explaining how much housework I am consistently avoiding how cathartic and fun blogging is, and after listening to her many tales of "So okay, my Mother-in-law lives in my basement....." (Though the MIL recently moved *out* of the basement, the scars remain.) As Roses puts it:

"Eight friggin' years.
If I don't get a book deal outta THAT somehow, it'll be only because I just didn't try."

Please, make her feel welcome. I swear, that was the easiest delivery I ever had! And I won't have to potty train or anything! Whoohoo!

Father's Day II

Well, since hubby (WxMan) had to work yesterday - we are celebrating Father's Day a day late around here... Burgers on the grill, corn on the cob, and beer battered onion rings for lunch. And later, a trip to Home Depot for mulch... Nothing says "Dad" like a trip to Home Depot for yard supplies.

Anyway, while we are out and about getting our Father's Day groove on, I'll leave you with today's Brain Bender.... Ready?? Here we go!

---------------------

What two words, formed from different arrangements of the same seven letters, can be used to complete the sentence below?

When the army entered the __________, they found the inhabitants' __________ difficult to understand.

---------------------

Okie doke. There you go. I'm off to man the grill and get those onion rings happy. Like always, the answers will appear in the comments later....

(And Happy Father's Day to all you other dads - I hope that your weekend was just perfect.)

Update: Dash from the Boiling Point is today's smartypants. Whoohoo!

So whaddya get...

...when you get five female bloggers together for an afternoon??

Four hours that speed by in a blink.

Lots of goofy, insightful, serious, fun, snarky conversation. Lots of boy talk, girl talk, kid talk, pet talk, blogging talk, and just talk. And cocktails.... And yummy Dinner.... Perfection in my book.

I have said it before and I'll say it again - if you get the chance to go to a blogmeet (even a mini meet) DO IT. It's an absolute blast. I am so glad I got to go...

So thanks Teresa, Tammi, TNT, and Ktreva (who's youngest son is just cuter than cute)!! That was the best Saturday afternoon I have had in a very long while...

To Blog? Or *not* to Blog??

And when do you tell your family *about* your blog???

That is Freddie's question.

You see, no one I know knows about my blog. Not my best friend, not my mother,not even my husband. And the guilt is starting to gnaw at my conscience....

... Is it a really bad thing to keep this all to myself? How would a guy feel if he found out his wife had been blogging for months without his knowledge?

I blogged for 4 months before I mentioned it to *anyone* my husband included.

I didn't want anyone to know in case I a) sucked at it, b) decided I wanted to quit right after I started, or c) insert stupid reason here ______ that I can't remember now....

When I *did* finally tell my hubby (WxMan) about One for the Road - I was kind of shocked to discover that not only did he still not care about reading blogs:

"But Honey! You really should see what Blackfive or SMASH or Stephen Green posted about today! And Lileks and Bou and Eric - they're so funny!

Hell - he didn't even want to read *my* blog. Or as he so succinctly put it, "Honey, I don't need to read your blog - I live your blog..." Well okie dokie then, Mr. Fodder. Have it your way.

The rest of the family found out over time. First I told my parents, and then both sets of WxMan's. As far as I know, they all (and a smattering of other friends and family) read fairly regularly. I have been told that it's like getting a little snapshot everyday about what's going on with us. And I'm glad they know about it even if they don't read. Keeps me above board.

But all that aside, this is still *my* place. Mine to do with as I please. I still write about what I feel like writing about. And if that means an F-bomb every other word - so be it. It's *my* voice, after all. And my thoughts. My joy. And sometimes my anger. My take on what the heck is going on in my crazy life.

That's the way of blogging, I think. All said and done, it is all about "Me." Or conversely, it's all about "You."

So Freddie, good luck. I think that outing yourself to your friends and family will be easier than you fear it will be. At least I hope so. I have enjoyed getting a teeny snapshot of your life these past couple of months and I hope that you will continue to share a bit of yourself with us.

Motherhood in a nutshell...

A conversation with my eldest daughter upon her return from a scooter trip to Arnold's Convenience Store. (Scootering over for an ice cream or flavored water is the girl's new favorite thing to do...)

K: "Mom!! Hey, Mooooom!!"

Me: "Yeah, Honey in here.... what's up??"

K: "I got you some Airheads at Arnold's!!" ::holding them out::

Me: "Oh, uh... Thanks Honey for thinking of me, but I don't really care for them..."

K: "I know... Can I have them then??"

Me: "... ... Uh, sure..."

----------------------

Well, the thought *almost* counted there... "I know..." Sheesh!

At least I'm not the only one to experience something like this...
I think Christina's story is an even better one!

One of these things is not like the others....

One of these things just doesn't belong...

Oh crap. Now that song is going to be in my head for the rest of the day... (Aren't you glad I shared??) Here is today's Brain Bender...

----------------------

Which of the words below is least like the others?

• PARSLEY
• ARSON
• STANDS
• COURSE

-----------------------

Short and sweet. Perfect for the end of a busy week. And just for fun (and since I am in a Sesame Street kind of mood) here is a link to one of my all time favorite Sesame Street bits... Sesame Street Aliens!

As always, the correct answer will be found in the comments later. Have fun!

Update: Today the brilliance is shared by jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind and Dash from The Boiling Point! Whoohoo! Happy Friday and thanks for playin' y'all! : )

Fun

Because it's Friday... Like I need a reason. : ) Happy Friday!

You Are Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream

A classic and an original, no wonder everyone likes your style!

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

Say what???

Overheard (in passing) at work today...

"You know, I have been reading. And I've decided to just mount the cat..."

What the...??? Surely I heard that wrong. I mean, I live in Wisconsin and all. And they *do* offer "Beginning Taxidermy" as a supplemental summer school course here (I think you have to be in 6th grade and you get to mount a fish...) but mount the cat?? That can't be right...

Or is that something that gets done?? What do you think?

Tom Swifty...

Well, we haven't had one of these for a while. Today's brain bender will for a Tom Swifty sentence when unscrambled. Ready?? Here we go...

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First unscramble the letters in each word below, then unscramble the word order to create a Tom Swifty sentence.

IHTIYLP MOT DSAI YM SHA A LMPA ROCHDAR EERT YMNA RFO RSEAY MIAFLY DAH.

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Okay... You know how this works. The answer will be found later in the comments!

Update: Og the Neanderpundit is the smartypants today. Whoohoo!

Sleepy? Yeah, me too....

Hubby (Wxman) and I watched 3/4 of Fun With Dick and Jane last night thinking a little humor would be just the thing to end the day. And Jim Carrey? He's funny, right?

Yeah. Not so much. Maybe the whole "lose your job and be scared to death you are going to lose everything" thing isn't so funny when you have recently gone through it... Ugh.

So I went to bed feeling relatively anxious.

After a lovely terrifying slasher dream involving being chased by a crazed woman wielding chisels, I got to play "watch that minute!!" You know... When you wake up at 1:17 and look at the clock and say "yay - I can sleep for three more hours..." only to barely doze and look at the clock at 1:43....... Doze... "holy crap soccer sign ups are Saturday!" 2:08...... Doze...... 2:32.... 2:53.... drink of water... 3:07..... 3:19...... 3:43..... Uh oh.... 3:57..... Screw it.

Get up.

Ah well... Maybe I can catch a nap this afternoon! I mean really - how much damage can the girls do if I am sleeping?? You know, just for an hour or two!

'Course judging by the chaos they created mixing up some of that Country Time Lemonade powdered gak yesterday, quite a bit. And A. has softball this afternoon... Oh...

Caffeine it is then!

Thankfully, the weekend is right around the corner. Riiiiiiiight there.... And provided I can rid myself of Chisel Chick, I bet I'll sleep tonight... Maybe. Sorta. I sure hope so....

Birds of a feather....

flock together ...will still crap all over your car.

Today's Brain Bender is a little different. Ready to play? Here we go....

----------------------------

Name the animals that are described below by their group names...

1) A gaggle
2) A kindle
3) A pod
4) A pride
5) A plague

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Okay, that's it! And like always, the answers will be found in the comments later.

Update: Today's official smartypants (and first time sticker recipient) is the suave and debonair Elisson of Blog d'Elisson! Whoohoo! (And he's booger blogging today - breaking new ground in the 'ole blogosphere, he is...)

Og & Rich (in the comments) have a whole bevy of other animal group names. "A raft of turkeys" - who knew!?!?

Thanks for playin' y'all. : )

The Fat Lady???

She doesn't even know the fricking song yet. She can't even hum it. She can kiss my ass.

It ain't over...

I have been hesitant to blog further about my beloved Uncle Ben - if for no other reason, for fear that I would jinx the whole thing. But as Hubby reminds me often, it is not all about/or up to me. I have blogged about this entire journey from day one. So, what the hell...

He is rallying. Still hospitalized. Still in need of constant care. But rallying.

Such is the insidious nature of this fucking disease. You can go from total remission to "holy shit - it's baaaaaaack" over the course of a few short weeks. You can go from being on death's door - to asking for further treatment options. You can go from living your life - to being on the "call the family, the time has come" edge of life. It's crazy squared.

God hears our prayers, and while sometimes he says "No." Sometimes it's a "Maybe..."

I don't know - and thank God it's not up to me...

Ben is comfortable.

Sick? Yes... but comfortable. And wanting to fight. I do not expect a miracle cure - just more quality [read: pain-free] time. And everyday that I get to tell him that I love him is a gift.

Og The Neanderpundit reminded me the other day of the importance of taking every opportunity to tell the ones we love that we love them, and Jack over at Random Thoughts had me thinking about life's regrets...

I will never regret or take for granted the time I get to spend with people that I love.

I am hoping for time. But if his time has come, I have no regrets with Ben. He knows how I feel about him and I know how he feels about me. And *that* is a gift in and of itself...

Amen.

Happy Birthday, Honey!!!

Thirteen years ago today we met and fell in love - or at least you wouldn't go away when I told you too.

I love ya, Babe. More today than when you were 25.

(And just for the record, I'm glad Mr. Cuervo made you stubborn that night...)

Update: And just for the record, you can call him Wxman (which is TV shorthand for "weatherman"). That's my Honey. He'd be a storm chasin' everyday, if there was any money in it. Instead, he's just my own personal meteorologist...

Double Trouble

Tuesday's Brain Bender...

Fill in each blank below with a word that fits the definition on the left when read normally and fits the definition on the right when read backwards.

Complain bitterly _________ An untruthful person

A grass __________ An animal

Piece __________ Capture

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Okay, I am off to go do summer vacation stuff with the kids. (Yesterday afternoon was spent "painting" - I must remember that valium is key when "painting" with the kids. Holy crap.)

You know what to do. The answers will be found later in the comments!

Update: Today's smartypants stickers are awarded to Teresa from Technicalities (who has a must read post today about an internet worm we should all be aware of - I had it in my Yahoo inbox this afternoon so thanks for the heads up Teresa!) and Mark A. Rayner from The Squib who has dicsovered that beer can help prevent prostate cancer! Good to know!

Honorable mention to both Dash and Rachel for creativity! Heh. : )

What the....???

So just now as I was doing recon-cleaning in the living room (it astounds me as to how much stuff makes it's way in there on any given day), I picked up a blanket and discovered a long wig, a purple poncho, and two sais on the couch.

Huh.

So, whaddya think? Is my house a super-secret ninja training camp? Or have one of the girls turned double agent (Double-oh K.? Or double-oh A.?) and I just don't know it??

Am I the only one who finds weird stuff on the couch at any given moment?? Again... Huh. Maybe I should start watching my back a little more carefully just in case...

Math on a Monday...

Oh what the heck. The handy dandy discount MENSA calendar decided to give us a break from word puzzles. Ready to shake off those braincells? Here we go!

-----------------------

Catherine decided to get rid of the small change in her purse. She had $7.65 with the same number of dimes, quarters and half-dollars.

How many of each were there?

------------------------

Okay, you know how to play. The answer will be found in the comments later!

Update: Winner of the smartypants sticker is Teresa from Technicalitites! Whoohoo!

Monday...

And here we go some more.

For the lack of anything of real interest to post, I'll point you to this - take #606. It's pretty cool... (And yes, it *is* nice when things just work...)

Do you ever feel...

....like you want to talk? That you need to talk?? And you futz around, and pick up the phone.... then put it down.... because there's no guarantee that you *can* talk. And you're pretty sure that nothing you have to say is really worthwhile anyway.

Because there is news... but no news... and plans... but no plan.

And you're sick and sad and helpless one minute, and the next you're all pulled together and "fine." But your stomach is in knots regardless. And tears just sneak up on you.

And you pick up the phone... and then put it down... and you wait.

Because, that is what is left to do...

And as a friend told me, "You can only do what you can do."

There is peace in knowing that. I just wish I could keep my hand on it...

And he does windows!

Though I am unsure about the whole kitten thing, this guy could wash my windows anytime....

More words....

Sorry Teresa - more word puzzles today (Maybe the handy dandy discount MENSA calendar is stuck...) : )

Since blogger was having so many issues yesterday and I didn't get to post, and because it's Friday and I know you want to speed the day along to get to your weekend be most productive. We'll have a twofer and really get the braincells hoppin.'

Ready?? Here we go....

-------------------

Missing letter word scramble:

Unscramble the letters below, then find the missing letter that completes each word. (The missing letter, indicated by the question mark, is the same for each word.)

• E V I A ?
• N G I R ?
• I T R E ?
• G I N ?

-----------------

What do the following words having in common? (The similarity has nothing to do with the number of letters, vowels, consonants, or syllables.)

SNIPS * * RACQUET * * ABACK * * CARTON

---------------------------

Okay, you know how this works... The answers will be found later in the comments and Smartypants Stickers awarded. Happy Friday!

Update: jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind gets a smartypants sticker for answering the first puzzle correctly! Whoohoo!

The answer to the second brain bender was ::drumroll:: Each word contains a three-letter word spelled backwards (PIN, CAR, CAB, NOT). Thanks for playin' everybody!

Say what?!?! To my house??

So toward the last day of school, I took in a treat to both the girls' class rooms just for fun. Two big platters of watermelon.

Originally, I had intended for the kids to enjoy them after their "track and field" day, but with all that was going on, we found room for them in the school's ginormous fridge to be enjoyed the following day. No problemo.

The next day I go in and stopped at A.'s classroom to gather up my stuff and thank her teacher (Mr. G) for a great year. Mr. G is a cute young guy (he wears pooka shells for heaven's sake) who has great classroom skills and a great repotoir with the kids. The kids were cleaning up their desks - bursting with energy and super easily distracted. You could see that they had been just borderline bouncing off the walls all day.

A. decided to be "helpful" and skipped over to the table, grabbed my 18 x 24 ceramic platter by one handle and merrily skipped and swung her way over to me - while I made the classic "holy crap please don't break that....." face.

Mr. G saw me and gave a a vaguely amused smile at my relief to get my platter from A. (unbroken - thank God) and sauntered over.

Me: "Oh whew! I wasn't sure she was going to make it over here without a large crashing sound.... Are you ready for summer?"

Mr. G: "Oh yeah. Definitely. "

Me: "Looks like you have had a busy day! I feel for you... I know my girls have been pretty hyper lately... "

Mr. G: "Yeah, you should try dealing with 20 of them at once!* They have all been really excitable the past couple of days."

Me: "And just think, one day you'll have one or two just like them that will live at your house and want to play with your stereo and stuff..."

Mr. G: [very quietly and visibly paling] ... ... "Holy crap... I hadn't thought about that. Won't for a while though... "

*Heh. Yeah well, I've seen him with his girlfriend. He'll be married with kids in no time. And as far as the "you should try dealing with 20 of them at once..." Every Mom has, Buddy... Every Mom has....

A question...

....for the ladies. (Probably)

Did you ever have a day when all you could think about is, "How much longer before I can take my %#&$*#! bra off!"

Yeah. Me too.

Blogger has been down all afternoon. So no brain bender today. My brain's bent already anyway. And days off are a good thing right?

Anyway, I figure I got about 0.5 more hours before I can answer the above question with, "Now!" So I am off to distract myself until then.

%#&$*#! bra...

Last Day of School....

You remember....



That feeling of freedom and joy. Knowing that for months, endless summer day would stretch into endless summer day - sometimes I find it hard not to be a bit jealous.





And as Youngest A. put it yesterday after an afternoon of slip-n-slide, watermelon, scooters, hot dogs, and friends....

A: "Mom? Is it summer? 'Cuz it sure feels like summer...."

Me: "Yep. I think that it's safe to say that summer is here..."

A: "Cool."














And she ran back off to play.

I agree, though.... Cool.

Busy day...

It's the last day of school and I am going to have extra kids this afternoon for hot dogs, watermelon and slip-n-slide action.

I neglected to assist with time wastage at work post the brain bender yesterday, so today we'll have two... Ready?

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Metamorphosis:

1) Add an "R" to a word for a kind of fish to find the word for a kind of string.

2) Add an "S" to a word for grease to find a word that means "quick."

and.....

Fill in the blanks with words that are pronounced the same but have different meanings and spellings.

1) Soothsayer _________ Burn ________

2) A gathering of sellers ________ Cost ________

3) A small Amount ________ Power ________

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Okie doke. You know what to do. Answers will be found later in the comments!

Update: The lovely and talented SarahK(J) from Mountaineer Musings is our official smartypants today. Whoohoo!

Update II: And Teresa from Technicalities provided us with the answer SarahK missed... Thanks Teresa! :)

Okay... Time to shake off the melancholy.

Straighten the shoulders. Take a deep breath. Adjust attitude. (Put in a load of laundry, start dinner, talk to the girls about school, ready the teacher gifts for tomorrow....)

In other words, Suck it up.

95% of happiness is simply making the decision to be happy. Even in the face of sadness or stress. The other 5% is probably insanity, but what the hey...

And what better way to promote happiness than to post something amusing (even if it only amuses me...)



































Nothing like a little "potty humor" to break a mood...

And sometimes....

God says "No."

Shit.

Sometimes the miracles end, only to be renewed... Sometimes, there is a "grace period"..... And sometimes GOD says "No."

I just hope that this is *not* one of those times....... I really do. I believe in prayer. But sometimes I fear the answers....

I am hedging my bets and I've booked a flight. It's time to go and be more than just moral support over the phone. Not that I can do much, mind you. But sometimes you just have to show up and do what little you can.

I am ugly when I cry... And I have been having a hard time not crying of late... Shit. Cancer sucks.

Update: 6-7-06 It looks now like I will not be in time. The tide may turn, but we are not all that optimistic and this has been a very rapid decline. Thanks to everyone for the thoughts and prayers. Uncle Ben will have many people who love him around him in the coming days, and if he rallies - all the better. One way or the other I know I will see him again...

Monday's Brain Bender

Quick and to the point. I am off for an afternoon of sunshine (track and field day at school) so I'll get right to it...

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Find the word that fits the definitions below when it's 1) a whole word and 2) divided into two words.

1) Whole word: stomped on

2) Two words:
a. means of transport
b. made a statement

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Answer to be found later in the comments. Now where did I put the sunscreen?...

Update: Todays official smartypants is Oddybobo! Whoohoo! Even after a weekend playing with firemen, she's still got those brain cells working... (I'm not sure I could say the same.)

And just between you and me, I should have looked a little harder for the sunscreen. T1G at Drunken Wisdom learned that this week, and I should know better....

Just for fun...

Stolen from Dash... who stole it from El Capitan....

30 Random Questions

Feel Free To Steal This Idea. I did!

Because I have nothing really blog worthy right now... And hey! Fun is a good thing to have on a Monday. Right??

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Nope. I have always been in the right place at the right time here...

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
Uh.... I think a better question would be "Can you get me on a roller coaster?" And the short answer is "No." Every time I *have* been on one I always regret it... about half way through. Ugh.

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?

Last year. Again, I generally regret it about half way down the hill. But the kids have a BLAST! And that's what matters in my book...

4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Oh *with* someone (preferably my Hubby). Definitely. I do not sleep very well alone...

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
Absolutely.

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
I guess so. Not holding a candle to the creative power of oh, say my Mother. But I can definitely be creative at times. Especially in the kitchen, coming up with party ideas, and mosaic tiling.... I loooooove mosaic tiling.

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
I think he was capable. But the timeline of events still doesn't quite fit for me. I do believe he was involved.

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Well, I *like* Jennifer Aniston more, for sure. I would love to have her over for cocktails and conversation. Jolie just strikes me as weird... Hello! Billy Bob and the vial of blood thing?? And she and her brother at the Oscars a couple of years ago?? That's a bit much for me.

9. Can you honestly say you know ANYTHING about politics?
Yes. Enough to be both hopeful and disgusted by the whole thing.

10. Do you know how to play poker?
Oh yes. Deal me in!

11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
Definitely. Can you say motherhood? It happens...

12. What's your favorite commercial?
I have to agree with Dash here... "That Superbowl "Herding Cats" one from a few years ago." And I loved the Budweiser Clydesdales paying homage to 9-11, bowing their heads in the direction of the (former) twin towers.


13. Who was your first love?
He knows who he is... Hubby has golfed with him... And he occasionally shows up at my parents house while I am there visiting. His nickname was Opie - (God help me...).

14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around you, do you run a red light?
No. I usually wait.

15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
I'm sure I do... But I have a natural defense mechanism that makes me instantly forget secrets. Even my own...

16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
Baseball? Don't really care. I grew up in a Denver Bronco household and I currently live in a Sooner household (I'm an Okie-in-law). I grew up in Wyoming... There's no baseball in Wyoming... (Well, not the *real* kind.)

17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?
Yes. And as you get older, gravity is more and more frightening. Ice is HARD, people!

18. How often do you remember your dreams?
Very often. Usually they are nightmares though, which kinda sucks.

19. What's the one thing on your mind?
Creating absolute financial stability. And raising my girls to have absolute belief in their talents and abilities.

20. Do you always wear your seat belt?
Not every second. But more often than not... (Don't tell my Mom...)

21. What talent do you wish you had?
Music. I wish I could sight-read music.

22. Do you like Sushi?
No. Sorry. Raw fish is "bait" in my book.

23. What do you wear to bed?
Satin Jammies (if it's cold), otherwise just a long tee shirt or a tank top.

24. Do you truly hate anyone?
There are a few people to whom I would refuse hospitality. (And between you and me - that's a big deal.) A very few. But I would neither break bread with them nor allow them into my home.

25. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?
Hmmmmm. Hugh Jackman, I guess. But only if I could purchase the "plastic surgery for a day" package or have a "stunt" me... Not that I want to change who I fundamentally am... But because I would want to have no inhibitions or self consciousness. (Two kids, mid 30's, people... I have both.)

26. Do you know anyone in jail?
No.

27. What food do you find disgusting?
Liver, brussel sprouts, chitlins, lots of stuff they eat on survivor.... Fortunately, I am *head* cook around here...

28. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
Yes. But only if I would be willing to say the same exact thing to their face.

29. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Nope. But I did land a good roundhouse once. He deserved it...

30. Do you believe in angels and demons?
I believe that Evil and Good co-exist in the world. And I belive that certain people can be inherently evil and non-redeemable and that some people are angels, sent to us at a time of need.

So there you go. 30 random things. Here's hoping the start to your week is a good one!

Yay! Yay! Yay!

My book came today!! My book came today!! Whoohoo! So I am off to settle in for an afternoon with Jack Reacher.

Mmmmmmm... I love me some Jack "kicks ass according to the rules of his own conscience" Reacher. Oh yeah.

Blogger was down earlier today, but the Brain Bender was pretty lame anyway. Oh well... It's time for my weekend to start. Here's hoping yours is good too...


[And yes Pop, you can read it when you get here... ; ) ]

Update: Sunday Oh my.... The Hard Way was absolutely FABULOUS!! Loved it! All of the bad guy ass kickin' I was looking forward too (and then some)...

::sigh:: Now back to our regularly scheduled housework...

I'm *it* again!

This time tagged by CalTechGirl with the meme of 5!

Five things in my fridge...

• Newman's Own Caesar dressing. I use it all the time... and it is especially good when cooking vegetables on the grill. Mmmmmm...
• Ketchup. Heinz ketchup. Love it. Use it.
• Diet Coke (for me)
• Diet Pepsi (for hubby) - what can I say, we are a house divided...
• Pickles - all kinds of pickles. Dill, bread and butter, sweet, garlic dill slices, hamburger chips, relish... You can't ever have enough pickles.

Five things in my closet...

• Clothes
• Shoes
• ... uh... more clothes
• ...and shoes
• ...I have a very boring closet, apparently.

Five things in my car...

• An umbrella
• A road atlas (I am directionally challenged and I hate to be lost)
• A snow scraper brush thingy. I live in Wisconsin - 'nuff said.
• A small trashcan (now if I can just get the girls to use it consistently...)
• Oprah magazine. For when I just have a minute and need something to flip through...

Five things in my purse... (now keep in mind I am a "be prepared" kind of girl...)

• A tape measure
• Tire gauge
• Hand sanitizer
• Advil
• Cinnamon Altoids

Five things I am going to do today... (in lieu of tagging anybody else)

• Take a nap (I have earned one this week...)
• Read a book - maybe my new Lee Child book will come today!
• Hug my girls.
• Tell them 85,000 times to pick up _____, speak nicely to each other, get off of each other, go out and play, throw ____ away, etc...
• Pay bills - bleh.

So there you go. The meme of five. Happy Friday!!

Drastic change!!!!

Well, that's what the handy dandy discount MENSA calendar says, anyway. Sounds like they are taking their cues from the MSM.

If a newspaper reported today's Brain Bender as "news" (hey, you never know...) I have a feeling that Drastic Change would be the headline followed closely by ...and it's all Dubya's fault!! or World watches in fear as the possibility of global warming increases... some more... we think....

Aren't you glad you get the straight scoop from me?? Yeah, I thought so.

Anyway, here is today's Brain Bender...

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Find a word that changes pronunciation drastically when a "D" is added at the end.

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So that's it! Simple and straight forward enough. You know how to play, the answer will be found later in the comments.

Update: Whoohoo! With many great answers our winner and official smartypants is Blue Tige! The "official" calendar answer was envelope / enveloped. Thanks for playing y'all!

Potential Blogmeet!

Og the Neanderpundit is trying to put something together.... A Midwest Blog Meet (though he says you're welcome wherever you are from...)

I would like to see a blogmeet of Midwest Bloggers, though of course anyone would be welcome to attend, and I'm thinking the 23. 24, 25 of June, or the 15, 16, 17 of July. This is a suggestion only, I need to know who can come and when.

My very tentative plan of activities would involve arriving at Chicago Midway on the Friday evening, dinner for whosoever can attend that evening at Klas or someplace similar. Saturday would be a range day either in a local Illinois club or a local Indiana club. Outdoors preferred. Potentially with a BBQ. Saturday evening dinner at someplace close to the city for everyone's convenience. Sunday morning brunch and everyone hits the road for home.

He has asked for suggestions for dates and the like and it sounds like it would be an incredibly good time! So if you are interested going to Chicago and hooking up with some really terrific people for a great party - head on over to Og's and let him know!

I sure hope that I get to go...

Oh! And Rave over at Quid Nunc has a great suggestion for a class/game.

Classes held in the Luau Bar, 5th floor, Motel 6.
Bring your own pole.

Check that out too!