My occasionally snarky thoughts on everything from motherhood, politics, life and current events. Cocktails are sometimes mandatory. Bottoms up!

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Bad News............

So now the company is gone (until Thursday) and a bit of a family crisis has come up. You see, my beloved Uncle Ben is going to have to undergo some serious medical treatment on the not so distant future. This has blind sided the whole family as he was just going to the doctor to try to get a handle on some lower back pain he has had since a car accident 2 1/2 weeks ago. Chiropractic and over the counter meds were not working. They discovered much more.....

Came to Sher today to be with Ben for his Dr H interview ---He put a C D (Do you know someone we could send it to??) into a laptop and showed us a CT scan -----slices of Ben's torso from the chest to tailbone-----all looked normal at top except for an old calcium scar on the spleen (size of a 50 cent piece)-- no problem--then moves down to the top of kidneys-----right kidney is normal and rounded left is fuzzy and irregular and twice as large------spine here is normal. Then halfway down kidneys, left kidney is still very large and spine is beginning to show abnormal growth on left side, Then further down left kidney becomes normal size 3/4 of the way down, and left side of the spine shows larger abnormality covering nearly all of left side of the sacrum and going into the iliac joint of top left of pelvis----(also iodine marker showed very little urine production in left kidney). Dr. H said that in his opinion there was no chance that he could see that any of these abnormalities could be linked to the accident, and that he feared we were looking at cancerous growths, and advised Ben strongly to get an immediate biopsy (six cores 1 in long, the diameter of ball point pen refill)--- which he did-------results should be in late Mon. Will advise as we learn more.

That is an exerpt from an email from my father. God, I am sick and sad and researching airfares to go out there if they decide to do surgery next week. Uncle Ben has been a good friend to me my entire life. We have talked practically every week for years (since his wife/partner died). I am praying very hard that this works out okay. The family is rallying -- but it was so hard to hear the fear in his voice yesterday. And now we wait -- Monday he gets the biopsy results and we will know what is next. Fucking cancer. I hope that it isn't--but have a feeling it is. Fucking cancer.

Cancer took my voice when I was 11 and now it is threatening to take a man so dear to my heart I tear up everytime I think about it. It has taken countless other loved ones from so many, I know. I have lost grandparents already to the disease. I know I should be more positive about things but right now I am just pissed. Sick. Sad. Scared. And Pissed. And waiting for Monday. I hate waiting for news that is almost certainly bad................