My occasionally snarky thoughts on everything from motherhood, politics, life and current events. Cocktails are sometimes mandatory. Bottoms up!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

I feel like an Amazonian Oompa Loompa!

Well, at least I do at work...

I continue to shorten my learning curve there, thank heavens. And I am finally getting a true bead on the inner politics of the place. That's a good thing since working with a bunch of women can be dangerous, if you don't know who you're dealing with.

Not that I'm saying that women are inherently mean.... Oh, who am I kidding. Women ARE mean. And petty and spiteful and hormonal and territorial and a whole list of other things. (In my humble opinion it is much easier to work with men...) So far, I have been okay. I've kept my ear to the ground and stayed out of the way.

There are always an assortment of insanities ahem, I mean personalities that you find in a workplace primarily consisting of women. I have managed to identify a few in my little group. Hey, forewarned is forearmed in my book and you need to know who will have your back and who will stab you in the back.

I have figured out who the crazy one is. She's not psychotic [yet], mind you. Just a little loopy. And I don't mean crazy in the fun way -- this is crazy in the "try to keep your expression from going to WTF every time she talks to you" and hope that she doesn't sit by you at break ever way.

I've identified the drama queen. Where every little perceived injustice or happiness must be played out and or discussed in excruciating detail. (She has a heavy Russian accent which adds to the theatrics of it all.)

I've pegged the "serious" gossips ( and yes, I realize that all women gossip -- it's part of the xx chromosomes). But these are the the women that can and will make your life hell if they feel so inclined. I will nod and smile in passing but have to remember to contribute nothing. Too dangerous.

Similar to the "serious gossips" is the Leaky Bucket. She's the one woman in the place you never want to tell anything even remotely personal or emotional that you don't want your boss and every other freekin' person in the place to know. But also, she is the one to go to if you need to know something. She has her finger on the pulse of the whole frickin' place.

I know who the hard workers are, and who will try to take advantage of the newbies. I've identified the tattletales and the slackers. And those who think that they should be running the show. A couple of the crusty older gals (and I mean that in the nicest way) have taken their time to give me a couple of hints to help keep me out of trouble. Decoded a few of the "unwritten rules" so to speak.

And ME? I am in absolutely NO rush to join the fracas. So far my M.O. is to smile, keep my head down, and stay off of the radar as much as I can. Just do my job and deliver the occasional one liner so they know I am paying attention and am not brain-dead. These are shark infested waters. I want to stay in my raft as long as possible...

More fun with words...

First up, Palindrome Pals... [A palindrome is a word, sentence or group of words that reads the same backward and forward.]

When the mother of the palindrome twins wanted to call them, she would shout:
"Come here, O_ _ _ and B_ _ , and bring P_ _. I need him too."


Next we have this little bit of metamorphosis:

1) Add a "T" to a word that means "precipitation" to find a means of transportation.

2) Add a "T" to a word that means "question" to find a chore.


Quick and easy -- perfect for fat Tuesday... As always, answers to follow in the comments.

Update: We have a smartypants duo! First, Rachel from Pereiraville was all over the metamorphosis and then Raging Mom from The Splatter Zone covered the palindromes! Whoohoo! Thanks for playin' ladies! ::tosses beads::

Fat Tuesday

Yay Mardi Gras! Not much of a celebration going on here in WI but I am sure somewhere someone is not going to remember a thing about today going to have some unforgettable experiences. I wonder how many hurricanes it would take before I thought this was a good idea...

I must admit it's an interesting way to increase your boobage... I mean beadage.... Anyway, Happy Tuesday!

Monday, February 27, 2006

Two for One

Otherwise known as Monday's brain bender....


Find the word that fits the definitions below when it's 1) a whole word and 2) divided into two words.

1) Whole word: act decorously

2) Two words:

a. exist
b. be in possession of


There's no school so I have a house full of kids. (Okay, so only four. But two are boys so it seems like a lot more than normal!) Anyway, I will be happy to even have a brain by days end.... As always, answers to follow in the comments.

Update: Today's Smarty McSmarty is Tige from Blue Tige! Whoohoo!

4:00 am...

You know, sometimes it just doesn't feel right to get up at this hour.

The house is cold, it is definitely dark, my bed is squishy and comfy with great sheets and plump feather pillows and every instinct I had today was whispering, "Just five more minutes... c'mon.... just five more..."

Poo. Sometimes it sucks being a grown-up.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Took the day off today...

...from my bra, anyway. Gravitational consequences be damned. It was nice...

Not that I ever intend to take "time off" this far, though. That's just not a good idea EVER... I think it best to not win that prize.

A Sunday funny

While I try and get squared away for the rest of the week. I am beginning to wonder if I will ever feel caught up...

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed,"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... But please don't shove me either!"


Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The
first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he
calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a
piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to
collect all the money!"


Hey, sometimes I wish God would stop shoving me too....

Saturday, February 25, 2006


Going to try to freshen things up here today on the blog so if things look wonky from time to time, there is a reason....

Eldest is helping me. Seriously, when she saw me looking at my template (probably resembling a monkey trying to understand a math problem) she offered her services. She has been busy creating new headers for me..... Don't know what I am going to do with this kid....

Anyway, wish me luck -- hope I don't kill the damn thing...

Friday, February 24, 2006

Okay, it's official...

....I'm tired. [Sitting in Hubby's chair, surfing with the laptop...]

How could I tell? Well, while bouncing back and forth between watching the Olympics and other stuff, while also surfin' the net it took me 20 minutes to realize that I was "watching" Independence Day in Spanish.... Yes, I can speak/understand Spanish, but I am usually aware of that fact while I am doing it...

You know, Will Smith is still hot en espanol...

Does it have to be a frickin' Conference?

Now yesterday, That 1 Guy took us all with him on his visit to the porcelain throne. Not really my thing, but hey -- to each their own. (And I believe he as achieved a whole new level of "crapblogging.")

But in my world, I am continually astonished at the girls desire to visit with me while I am answering a call to nature. I mean, could I just go to the bathroom by myself? Why is the concept of "privacy" so hard to understand??

The girls are no longer toddlers -- I expected and accepted the absolute absence of personal privacy when they were little. But they are 8 and 9 now! And really there is no need to come running into the bathroom in tandem so we can have this conversation...

[K & A busting into the bathroom 25 minutes ago. K has a crayon drawing and is holding the digital camera... A is carrying the phone, a backpack and a sewing kit. None of this is looking like anything I want in a bathroom with me....]

A & K: " Moooooooooooommmmmmmm!!! "
Youngest: "Mom! can I call Bella??"
Oldest: " I need to take a picture of my drawing for my website...

Me: "Um... privacy, please...."

Youngest: " Hey, I'm talking to Mom -- can I call Bella and find out when I am supposed to be as her house?? And where are my favorite jeans that have the lines on them I need them for tomorrow?? And can you sew up Scruffy for me? He wants to go too..."
Oldest: ::Steps closer:: "I really, really want to take a picture of my drawing for my website. Can I??? Pleeeeeease???"

Me: GIRLS! Privacy, please!"

Youngest: "K, Mom has to do my stuff first 'cuz I have to go soon... Right, Mom? Can I call now and see when we are supposed to be there?? I am all ready to go... promise!
Oldest: "But Moooommmmmm, it will only take a minute to take a picture..... Can't I please??


K to A as they leave the bathroom: "Jeez, what's got her so upset?
A: " I have no idea..."

Me: *sigh*

Yay Friday!

I promised that I would take my girls out to lunch since they got rave reviews at their respective parent teacher conferences yesterday. So while we are off to go have yummy Chinese food, I will leave you with today's brain bender...

An eight-letter word appears below. Find it by beginning with the correct letter and moving clockwise or counterclockwise around the square using each letter only once.





Answer to follow in the comments.

Update: Whoohoo to jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind -- today's smartypants! Happy Friday, y'all. Thanks for playing!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

A funny for Thursday...

*The Good Samaritan

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testorone bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.

"So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now back off, biker boy, or you'll answer to me'!"

St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?" he asked.

"Just a couple of minutes ago," the man replied.

Poor guy!

h/t Loretta

Thursday's Brain Bender

What two words, formed from different arrangements of the same eight letters, can be used to complete the sentences below?

The hospital informed all mothers-to-be that it was their ________ duty to attend ________ classes.


Okay, as always answers to follow in the comments....

Update: Today's speedy smartypants is Oddybobo! (With whom I had the distinct pleasure of talking to yesterday....) Yay! Kudos though, to the creative answers offered... (I am lookin' at you T1G, Bob and Raging Mom...)

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


Laugh out loud funny for me -- and I really needed a good laugh today....

First, a commercial that askes the question Do you need glasses? [FYI, not work safe]

And then Akshun J has Retail Tales that are definitely worth the read... [excerpt]
They are actually not staring at my face, but at my chest. Reading my name-tag over and over to themselves and trying to make sense of it. (I would like to go on record as saying that I HATE name-tags. As service people, is it too hard that we should reach over, shake hands with our customers, and introduce ourselves?! But, I digress.) It's got my name, the company's name, and my job title written in great big friendly letters, and it's magnetized to my left shirt pocket. And yet, as I draw close to Ray, he steps in front of me, still staring at my chest, and asks.....

wait for it.....

"Do you work here?"

WTF?! Do I work here?! I'm wearing a suit in a sea of people dressed in sweatpants and camo jackets, I have a name-tag bearing the name of the place in which they are CURRENTLY SHOPPING, and I'm carrying a clipboard which is also emblazoned with the SAME company name!

Makes me glad that I don't work in retail for sure... Anyway, looking for some funny this afternoon? Here it is. (He hasn't even made it to the bathroom yet...)

What do you think?

Okay, now this is interesting. I saw yesterday that Trouble had a Johari Window.
The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.
And just now over at Virenda's place I found that she had one too. So why not! Mine is here.

And like Virenda said -- it's always interesting and maybe a little scary to see how you are perceived by others....

Odd Man Out

a.k.a. Wednesday's brain bender...


Which of the words below is least like the others and why? (The difference has nothing to do with vowels, consonants or syllables.)
  • TWIN
  • CARE
  • HAT

Answer to be found later in the comments! :)

Update: Today's smartypants is bigdocmcd! Yay! And according to the comments -- impressive...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Alphabet Soup...

....well, no. Actually I am having Chicken Tortilla Soup for lunch. But that was the title of today's brain bender....


How many common English words can you make from the letters below using all five letters once in each word? And what are the words?



Answers (as always) to follow later in the comments...

Update: Today we have a pair of smartypants! [...get it? Pair? smartyPANTS? hehehe... Why yes, I am tired.... Why do you ask?] So, Whoohoo Raging Mom from The Splatter Zone (regal, lager, glare) and Rachel from Pereiraville (large). Thanks for playin' everybody!

Monday, February 20, 2006

Seven songs....

Rachel from Pereiraville has tagged me to:
List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

Okay, here are my seven songs that I am really into right now (and some I have been continually into for a couple of years) in no particular order...
  1. "Are You Gonna Be My Girl" by Jet. For no good reason, I just love these guys. I want that they should all bathe and maybe get a haircut but the whole album makes me happy.
  2. "Better Now" by Collective Soul. Again, makes me happy. No good reason.
  3. "Don't Know Why" by Norah Jones. This girls voice just blows me away. I think she is soooooo talented.
  4. "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5. Comfy like the perfect pair of jeans.
  5. "Pretty Vegas" by INXS. Hubby and I watched that whole "search for a new frontman for INXS" show last summer and we loved it when the guy they eventually chose sang this.
  6. "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. No clue why I like it -- I just do.
  7. "Feeling Good" and "Home" Michael Buble. Love his voice. Sometimes I find "crooners" annoying. Not this guy.
And via Virenda at The Green Straw here is a way to find out what the number one song was on the day you were born aka your "birth" song. For me it's "I'll Be There" by the Jackson 5. Wow. I feel old....

Ahhh. So now who to tag.... Hmmm.... Well, I tag:

Virenda at The Green Straw 'cuz I am curious as to what the young people are listening to...
Eric the Straight White Guy (even though I know he isn't crazy about memes) because I am confident he will have a great 7 songs to share with us.
Oddybobo the Bobo Blogger because she won today's brain bender.
Ktreva at The Reality Ranch 'cuz I like her and I missed seeing her this weekend.
Brian at Point 2 Percent because it's been a while since I tagged him with anything.
Sarah at That's Not Very Nice because she has been with me in the corner all weekend.
And my friend Akshun over at On and On, And Two Steps Ahead 'cuz he is cooler than me and has very eclectic tastes.

Update: Music links added -- what the heck...

Monday's Brain Bender

And thank heavens I have it, because otherwise I have no blog fodder right now...


In a go-cart race, Cindy was neither first nor last. Rose came after Cindy. Jean beat Roger. Roger beat Beth. Cindy beat Beth but not Roger.

Who was last??


And the other question that begs to be answered is how the heck did Roger luck out and end up on the track with all of the women? Is he somebody's little brother?

Anyway, the answer will follow later in the comments.....

Update: Today's smartypants is Oddybobo! Whoohoo!

Sunday, February 19, 2006


So seem my tasks today. Cooking, cleaning and laundry to do (always). Preparation for the week ahead.

Ah, well. Sadly, the chores don't do themselves. (Though if anyone has an extra laundry fairy, please let me know... )

And I guess when it is as cold out as it is here (-10), there are worse things I could be doing. Like anything outside. So off I go....

No, really, I'm going.....

Aaaaany minute now.....

Yep. Going to get after it.



Aw crap. I really wish I had a laundry fairy....

Saturday, February 18, 2006


Survived the party/sleep-over... Coming up for air soon.

Anyone seen my sanity? Let me know...

Friday, February 17, 2006

No math today....

Thank heavens! (I am speaking for my self of course.... Some of you crazy people like the math questions!) Happy Friday! Here is today's brain bender:


Fill in the blanks to complete the word below.

_ X _ I _ G _ _ S _ _ D


I have a sleepover/birthday party to prepare for, so I am off. [ear plugs? check. Advil? check. activities (in the event of boredom)? check. wine? check.]

Answer to follow in the comments later....

Update: Today's official smartypants is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind. Whoohoo!

Again, I wish you happy Friday! Thanks for playin' y'all.

[Just curious, can you hear the giggling from there? We are maxed out on the giggle factor at my house.....]

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Oh wow, it's almost 4:00!

Where has my day gone?

Oh, that's right.... it was a snow day. It went here:

Time to go and start dinner and make sure everything gets dry before tomorrow...

Snow Day

They should have called one today, instead they had everyone come in to school and now they are closing school at noon. Good Grief! I kept getting messages at work. I am soooo glad they finally got things figured out!

At any rate, it promises to be a busy afternoon for me.... Luckily, the snow is heavy and wet so maybe everybody can entertain themselves outside this afternoon. One can hope.

Today's brain bender is much more reminiscent of Spring. Ready? Here you go!

Kim has three vases in her living room, each containing the same number of flowers. Kim adds three fresh flowers to one vase, which now has two more than the new average. How many flowers were in the vases originally?


As always, answers to follow in the comments.

Update: (5:00pm Central) No correct answer yet. I'll give it until 8pm central time... :)

Update 2.0: Holy crap! Cal Tech Girl and jvh and an old friend Rich had the answer exactly right! It just was not the answer my discount "MENSA" calendar had...

From the comments, here is CTG's brilliant analysis:

X + 3= (3X +3)/3 +2;
where X is the ORIGINAL # of flowers (also the original average),
and (3x + 3)/3 is the new average.
3X + 9= (3X + 3) + 6 (multiplying through by 3)
3x+9=3x+9 (simplifying right side)
1 = 1 (dividing through by 3x+9)
So this works for ALL values of X.
try 12, or 200, or -2. It works.
All answers are correct.

Any logical flaws? Something I'm missing?
caltechgirl Email Homepage 02.16.06 - 6:45 pm

Sometimes it's really nice when smart people visit your blog.... :)

The answer on the MENSA calendar was six. (6+3 is 9, the old average was 6, the new average is 7) .

I'd like to give a nod to everybody who answered today... SarahK from Mountaineer Musings, VW of One Happy dog Speaks, jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind, Rachel From Pereiraville, Rich from St. Louis, Tige who writes at Blue Tige , and CalTechGirl from Not Exactly Rocket Science.

Nice going MENSA -- CTG just handed your ass to you.... How do you like that?!?!

Me? I can't believe I couldn't wrap my brain around the obviousness of the answer. Thanks a ton CTG!

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The Rules....

Once again, my friend Trouble is coming to terms with and finding her way within the parameters of a new (and hopefully far more healthy) relationship. Having been down a road or two when it comes to trust issues and being able to love completely without the fear of being hurt, I am here to try to help.

Back in the day, (June 12, 1993) I met my husband. It was the eve of his 25th Birthday and he and I had both been invited out by mutual friends. I had spent the entire day in a big green dress at my cousin's wedding (followed by a dry reception -- hello!) and I subsequently needed a beer more than oxygen. (found a picture -- so now you can see too!)

He had been doing tequila shooters for the better part of the evening and thought I looked cuuuuuuuute. (By then I was in jeans and a great sweater -- thank God.)

He proceeded to spend the evening trying to get me to agree to go out with him and "give him a chance." The conversation went something like this:

Him: "No really, I'm a nice guy! I just want to get to know you better!"

Me: "I am not stupid. You want to get in my pants. You have absolutely NO chance. Go away."

Him: "No really! I think you are really pretty, and I want to take you out -- even if we just end up to be friends!"

Me: "Give me a f*ckin' break. NO. do you hear me? NO. You have a penis and that makes you evil. Go away."

Him: "Oh 'C'mon. Have you ever dated somebody from Oklahoma?? We are raised to be nice!"

Me: "No. ::leaves and goes dancing for a half an hour::


Him: "Really, will you please go out with me? I promise you won't regret it..."

Me: *sigh* NO!!! Go away!!!
And on and on it went...

So obviously, he wore me down. Finally, I agreed to go out with him just to shut him up. (And I thought that he was too drunk at the time to remember that I said yes....) When he showed up at my workplace the next day, I had no choice. I had said that I would go....

We had a nice evening. And made another date. At that point, the conversation turned to "what I was looking for in a man" -- or hell, I may have instigated this conversation just because I was tired of playing the game of "let's snag her and then see if I can change her to fit my parameters" and I wanted to either fish or cut bait. Period.

Basically, I put forth some rules. Abide by them, and we would get along famously and he would both receive my respect and adoration for all eternity... Or... Think you can't cut it, or don't want to? Buh-bye. No- harm- no- foul. Just get out. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way... I was TIRED of dealing with assholes.

Anyway, these were *my* rules. ( in 1993) ...

1. I have male friends. Get over it. They are my friends and they have been around longer (and I trust them more) than you. Do not pull a jealousy act.

2. I smoke. Do not think I am going to quit for you... If I quit, it will be for me. Deal with it.

3. If you f*ck up and cheat on me DO NOT come and tell me all about it to absolve your OWN guilt. That's crap. You keep that stuff to yourself.

4. If I find out that you have cheated on me and/or you are stupid enough to "bring something home" (aka a disease) all bets are off. You're done. No apologies. No do-overs. D.O.N.E. Buh-bye.

5. You will NOT tell me how to dress, what I can eat, who I can talk to, what classes I will take, where I can go, etc.... I will NOT wait by the phone for you.

6. After work I need a little down time. I like to go out for a glass or two of wine. You are welcome to join me. But you WILL NOT call every 15 frickin' minutes to ask when I will be home. Period.

Now in retrospect, those rules seem pretty petty and simple. But at the time they made a great deal of sense to me. I was FINALLY in a place to just say and ask for just what I wanted. And was not willing to accept anything less. To my utter surprise, he said "Okay..." And it has been almost 13 years....

My suggestion, Trouble, is for you to make your list. Let your parameters be known...

And maybe, just maybe, like my hubby he will say, "Okay." You'll never know if you don't ask...

What the hell? If you don't ask for what you want, the answer is almost automatically "No." Give it a shot...

So did I miss anything? Feel free to leave your suggestions in the comments....

You want some romance?

I got some...

Yesterday, my sweet Hubby (who had the day off) spontaneously got the laundry all. caught. up. Now, that's romantic. (And pretty dang sexy....)

Reading blogs can improve your grades!

Who knew? From the comments:

Hey, I know you prolly have no clue who I am but I just wanted to let you know that my high school chemistry teacher uses the same trivia questions you use as our extra credit questions daily. I get all my answers from your blog, and it's helping me pass this class just with the extra credit points!!! Just wanted to let you know how cool your blog is and that I've found every single extra credit question (including the one on today's blog) on the board in his class. Thanks a billion for the trivia questions!
--Rebecca L
See? My discount MENSA calendar is doing more good that I ever could have imagined! It all started so I could help y'all waste time at work get the old brain cells revved up (thereby increasing productivity) and now it's helping Rebecca improve her chemistry grades! [Make sure you are learning the chemistry too though, okay Rebecca? :-) ]

Somehow, in all of my "behindness" I am also a day behind on the calendar. So today I will post the Valentiney puzzler from yesterday and post today's as well. Two times the fun!

So, without further ado, here is the brain bender for today:

George went to the store to buy some supplies. He spent half the original amount plus $8 for pens, half of that was left plus $2 for paper, then half of what was left and $1 for a clipboard, leaving him with $4. How much did he start with?


And from yesterday:

For Valentine's Day, there was a contest to guess the number of candy hearts in a jar. Barbara guessed 129, Betty guessed 138, Tom guessed 133 and Gary guessed 135. One was correct, one was off by 6, one was off by 2and one was off by 3.

How many candy hearts were in the jar?


Answers, as always, to follow in the comments. [ Though I do call BS on somebody guessing the correct amount in the jar -- nobody ever guesses right on those things. Especially when there are only 4 freekin' people playing! Sheesh! ]

Update: Today's winners are jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind and Bigdocmcd! :) Whoohoo!

Olympic Fun...

You Are Speed Skating

You're motivated, aggressive, and willing to work hard to win.
You have what it takes to be hell on skates!

Cool! Found over at Not Exactly Rocket Science. Do I get to hang out with Apollo Anton Ohno now? That cutie pie....

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Holy Cow!

It's freekin' WARM out! Like 57 degrees! Amazing....

'Course, come Thursday we are supposed to get snow and arctic temps. But for right this second I'll take this little bit-o-spring.

Survived the class parties. I created a Valentine themed charades game. It's always fun to watch the kids ham it up.... And to watch the kids act out "falling in love" or "kiss" HILARIOUS!

[Hey Brice? Yeah you, in the first row of class? I've got my eye on you. You were guessing those lovey dovey charades just a little too easily.... My girls can't date until they are at least 16....]

Anyway, the chocolate dipped strawberries were a big hit. And the meat and cheese trays predictably devoured. Now I am going to go have a glass of wine (or more) and enjoy Valentine's Eve with my Hubby. Remember to smooch your sweetie too! You don't want your day to end like this....

Happy Valentines Day, y'all.

It's party time!

Well, not for me exactly -- I will be spending the afternoon up at school helping out with the girls' Valentine's Day parties.

Here's today's brain bender to keep you busy while I am gone:


Charlie is twice as old as David. When Charlie is 72, he will be the sum of his age and David's age now. How old are they now?


Okay, answer to follow in the comments. Remember to smooch your sweetie today!

Update: Today's official smartypants is Cal Tech Girl from Not Exactly Rocket Science! (Just by a minute...) Whoohoo!

Monday, February 13, 2006

Hit the ground runnin'

That's me today. And ironically, in spite of all of my prep for the week yesterday, I am still behind. If this keeps up I may have to clone me....

I am helping with the girls' Valentines Day parties tomorrow at school which means I have 2 meat and cheese platters to put together** and brownies to make. At 3:00 on Mondays I go in and read with the third graders, Taylor has a Vet appointment at 4:oo, I made the big grocery run on my way home from work, probably 5 loads of laundry to fold and then dinner to make. And I still want to watch Grey's Anatomy! (That may just have to wait.....)

Also, I still have the tenderloin to trim, and I picked up the stuff to make chicken enchiladas (they have been sounding oh so good lately...) so I figure if I play my cards right and work my ass off today and tomorrow, I can take Wednesday afternoon off. (yeah, right. I have probably just guaranteed that somebody is going to get the pukin' flu just by thinking that....)

How the heck do you mom's with full time jobs do this?? Anyway, I'm runnin'.....

**The meat and cheese platters has to be a Wisconsin thing. They have 'em for every class party. And you should see these kids tear through the summer sausage! Cracks me up!

I got your Monday right here....

Here's today's brain bender -- see you later in the comments!


How many common English words can you make from the letters below, using all six letters once in each word? And what are the words?


Update: Well, no clear winner today, though we had a few contenders... Blue Tige had an innitial correct response, followed closely by Ellison and Rachel. But nobody came up with the third word. CINEMA. ah well.... It's Monday.... See you tomorrow....

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Some funny for Sunday

First Grade Taste Test

A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first graders, using a bowl of lifesavers. He gave all the children the same kind of lifesavers, one at a time, and asked them to identify them by color and flavor.

The children began to say:

Finally the professor gave them all honey lifesavers. After eating them for a few moments none of the children could identify the taste.

"Well," he said "I'll give you all a clue..........It's what your mother may sometimes call your father."

One little girl looked up in horror, spit hers out and yelled "Oh My God!!!! They're assholes!!"

Hahahaha! :)

Saturday, February 11, 2006


No, I am not looking to acquire one.... (see me in 20 years or so.)

I am talking about the movie. It's on right now. And for some odd reason, I have always had a soft spot for Pauley Shore. The half assed bumbling idiot that made me laugh so many times throughout the 90's. I wonder what he is doing now......

For those over 30........

This came today via email and I liked it so much I had to share..... Ha! And so, so true.


When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning...uphill BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda.

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!

When I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600 with games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square... You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! ... Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating. All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control. You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire...imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that Stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot. That's exactly what I'm talking about!You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards, The 30+ Something crowd!


We still don't have flying cars, but it makes me wonder what my girls will be telling their kids about the good 'ole/ bad 'ole days when they were kids. Stuff like,
"I remember when we used to have this thing called a refrigerator right in the house to keep food in. And my mother actually had to go and gather her own food! For our family! And then she had to know how to cook it and everything. We didn't have anything like the posotronic food generator that you're used to...."
At least I hope it's happy crap like that...

Happy Birthday Kiddo!

Youngest, 8 years ago today your adventures began... I look forward (with only a little trepidation) to see what the next 8 years brings to you. Happy Birthday A!

(And for those of you wondering -- being 8 is pretty dang fun....)

Friday, February 10, 2006


Something I just realized. For the first time in a decade for me it's Friday. Meaning, the fact that it's Friday means something to me. In the past, Friday has meant something for the other people in my household while my schedule remained much the same... Not so this week... Huh.

Something else. Today, A. (youngest) had her program at school. I watched as after all the kids filed in and took their places on the risers she scanned the crowd for me. Not seeing me right away, her mouth formed a perfect oval and her eyes and expression grew more and more frantic as she searched. (I was doing everything to get her attention [short of jumping up and flapping my arms] but to no avail -- even my friend Nancy next to me tried to help...)

When at last she saw me (giving her a big smile and a thumbs up) she started to cry. Not horrible sobbing, mind you. But she had to wipe her eyes through the first 3 songs...

"What's wrong do you 'spoze?" asked Nancy.
"Just relieved, I imagine..." I answered. (Trying to figure out what I had done wrong while I sent big beaming smiles to my youngest daughter
Afterwards, I asked A. What had upset her so? (I was afraid that it was because I had not brought the video camera or something -- the school sells DVDs now). She answered,

"Well, when I just couldn't find you in the audience I was afraid that you had gone to work and forgotten all about my program.... I was glad to see you when I did."
Holy crap. Can I get a side of unwarranted guilt with some guilt sauce to go with my guilt entree?? Good grief. The program was wonderful, though -- kitschy and cute. Just what a mom needs to go with her big guilt dinner....

Ah well, at least it's Friday...

Tonight's the night!

I just love the Olympics!! Especially the Winter Games. And opening ceremonies are tonight! Whoohoo! (It's these little things that make me oh so happy, you know....)

I get to see that cutie speed skater Apollo Anton Ono again and a whole host of newbies. Figure skating promises to be a rollercoaster ride of emotion and then there's the skiing, luge, hockey, bobsled, etc.... I am hard pressed to pick a favorite!

Anyway, thinking about opening ceremonies is making my day today. What events are you looking forward to?

Friday's Brain Bender

What one three-letter word can be placed in the blanks below to make four different words?
  • ____DATE
  • ____AGE
  • ____DRAKE
  • ____KIND

I have a feeling speed is of the essence today. See you in the comments!

Update: Today's smartypants (and without any math in sight, no less) is bigdocmcd! Whoohoo!

Me? Really?

A Diva? Me? I don't think so......

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it.
You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less.
You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way.
Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

But this one (Found via Ktreva and Leslie) is disconcertingly accurate... huh.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile


You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."


You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.


You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.


You have low neuroticism.
You are very emotionally stable and mentally together.
Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly.
Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

So how was your day?

Mine?? Not so bad. I picked up a whole beef tenderloin today for $3.99/lb! Whoohoo! I have a feeling there will be Filet Mignon and the Opening Ceremonies tomorrow night. I just have to trim the tenderloin and cut the steaks. Yummy!!

Down side -- I split a nail today. Now, before I get scoffed at for the whole girly "I broke a naaaaail" thing, I'm not talking about a break. It's a split. Right down into the nail bed. So great. I am going to have to try and keep the whole deal taped together long enough for the nail to grow out and the nail bed to heal so I can fix it. #*&%ing wonderful. 'Cuz I don't have to work with my hands or anything..... [sarcasm]

Got my ass kinda handed to me on the job today. I think they may be testing my mettle. Well, that's just wonderful. At least the time went by quickly and I didn't screw up too much. That is a bonus. I know that I will feel soooooooooo much better about this whole "working thing" once I actually receive a paycheck. Right now, it feels all for naught. And tomorrow with a split nail! Oh joy....

On the up side, I got youngest her Birthday present today. A. turns 8 on Saturday -- what a deal. She was born in Livingston, Montana and we have lived in many, many places since then. We have a nice "family day" planned for Saturday. Her party (with a few friends from school) will be next weekend. (Crap! I just remembered that I have to get the invitations put together and printed off tonight......... Arrrgh!)

Okay, I am off to watch Survivor (recorded) with Hubby, fold load of clothes 8.0 and get squared away for tomorrow. (4am comes early, people!) And what's on tap for tomorrow? Well I have many phone calls to make to coordinate Valentine's day parties with the girls classes (I have yet to give up my "room mom" status), I have the aforementioned tenderloin to trim (Hey, at least dinner is planned...) , a birthday cake to make (or buy -- I am leaning toward the buy option), Youngest has her 2nd grade program (please let her remember to brush her hair tomorrow...) and a bajillion stickynotes to write (I have to work tomorrow). Lord only knows if the family is helped by them but they make me feel better, and hey, that's something.....

Anyway, see you tomorrow. What's on your agenda?

Talk about bait and switch...

This chickie has it GOING ON... Ha!

(Though I find the droolin' guy in the beginning a bit disconcerting....)

Thinking on Thursday

Today's brain bender:

Find the word that fits the definitions below when it's 1) a whole word and 2) divided into two words.

1) Whole word: pained expression

2) Two words: a. severe b. star performer


Okay, I am off to go try to catch up with me before I lap myself (how did I get so behind???). As always, answers to follow in the comments.

Update: Today's winner and official smartypants is Rachel from Pereiraville! And I always thought that the Grimace was just one of Ronald McDonald's friends....

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Twenty Questions

Tige, from Blue Tige didn't "tag" me to answer. But he asked so nicely, how could I say no? (And I could use the blog fodder (I am waaaaaay behind schedule this week....)

1. Best memory?
Waking up the day after my wedding, looking at my husband and realizing that we were on our way. That day everything was possible. (I would list the days that I had my children but I have to tell you, those were long hard days. Productive and great, yes. But long and painful and sweaty too. And for one I was heavily medicated.... Not good memory making there.)

2. Most terrible day?
September the 11th, 2001 comes to mind. I have mostly had pretty good days.

3. Birth City? Laramie, Wyoming

4. Favorite thing to do?
Read. And I love to entertain and cook for people.

5. Hollywood Crush? and why?
Hmmmmm. I am really not coming up with one here. Don't get me wrong, I love men -- there just isn't any one man in Hollywood that is really "doing it" for me right now. Huh.

6. Favorite food?
Filet mignon, medium rare with all of the trimmings.

7. City you want to visit most and why?
Just one? Okay. Madrid. Because It looks wonderful and I speak enough spanish to have a clue.

8. Fantasy/dream that you want to come true?
To see my girls become independent and happy and to retire with my husband somewhere we can both pursue our interests. (For me that means living on planet earth. For him that means unlimited access to several primo golf courses.)

9. Favorite sport?
Well, swimming was my sport. To watch though, OU Football or pretty much any and all Olympic sports.

10. How long have you been married? 11 years (12 in September)

12. Favorite song and why?
I have to go with more than one, sorry. At Last (Etta James), One More for the Road , Mustang Sally (great to dance to!), there are just too many to list....

13. Someone you most admire?
Colin Powell. He has a most honorable record of service, and in my humble opinion he is a man of great intellect and integrity.

14. Someone you hate and why?
Hate is not an emotion that I dwell on but there are a few people that I wouldn't flinch to see fall off of a cliff. (Many of whom are being sought out in the WOT.)

15. Secret crush?
Hello! If I tell, then it's no longer a secret! :)

16. One (maybe 2) rule/s you live by?
1) Complete honesty in word and deed is a good way to get punched out.
2) Follow your instincts. They are God's way of whispering in your ear.

17. Do you believe in God? Yes.

18. A dark secret (we won't tell)...
Again, if I told, it wouldn't be a secret anymore, silly!

19. Most treasured item and why?
I have many, many treasured items (I'm a nostalgia girl). Let's go with just the ones in my kitchen (my room). An apron my Nonny made for me when I was little to wear when we cooked together, Her biscuit cutter, the tiny bird candlesticks from Mexico given to me by Uncle Ben, wineglasses from my best friend Steph, the little silver bowl from Tiffany's I got from my Uncle Lincoln as a wedding gift (first time I ever got something from Tiffany's), great grandma Anderson's china (thank's Mom!), my Nonny's cookie jar, All of the little artsy doo-dads my girls have made me that adorn my window ledge, and much, much more... (My Nonny has always had a big influence on my culinery skills, can you tell?)

19. If you could turn back time, what would you do and why?
Too big of a question. I mean personally? Lot's of things I would change... uh, I think.... I don't know. Those choices got me where I am today. I don't know if I would want to risk the outcome. And historically/globally? Holy crap! Who needs that kind of pressure?!?! I say we try to remember the past and make better decisions for the future.

20. Last but certainly not least, what kind of "work" do you do and do you enjoy it?
First and foremost I am a Mother, Wife, and Homemaker. My calling, I believe is to make my little corner of the world warm and welcoming. And most days, I enjoy it immensly. Recently, I have blogged about getting a "real" job (meaning one that pays me money). I am a part-time inspector/packer for a local thermo-formed plastics company. And so far I like it just fine. The hours are good, the pay isn't bad, and the people who work there are witty and funny as hell. I think once I stop getting lost on my way to the break-room I'll be all good!

Now, who to tag... Hmmmm.... Well, it has recently come to my attention that a good friend of mine has started a blog.... So I tag Akshun J over at On and On, And Two Steps. (He's got a great ass grabbin' post up today. Ha!) And what better way to welcome a fellow blogger than to tag them with their first meme?

Update: Others are answering Tige's non-tag. Here are Cal Tech Girl's 20 Q. Ktreva at the Reality Ranch too! Okay, there's more... like PureMood

Corrected: The link for my anniversary was wrong... It is now fixed. :)

A Mystery?

Well, I guess so.... Here's today's brain bender:


The Great Detective had no trouble with this case. The formula read "heat the ingredients from 0 to 10 degrees in 5 minutes. The colour will change from blue to red." The young American said that it didn't work.

What was wrong?


Okie doke. The answer will follow in the comments as usual. I gotta go work on my answers to the 20 questions posed by Blue Tige....

Update: I am obviously running late today! Sheesh! Today's smartypants is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind. Way to go, Girl! And thanks for playin' everybody! :)

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Overheard today... work.

Woman 1 : "Remember Tickle-Me-Elmo?"
Woman 2 : "Yeah.... Why?"
Woman 1 : "Ever sit on one? It's better than the spin cycle..."
Ohhhhkaaayy. Good to know. (But just wrong on so many levels...)

Tuesday's Brain Food

Just for the halibut, today's brain bender is again a twofer -- IMO, they are both a little odd but what the hey! Let's see how you do...


Jake walks into a store, picks up an object and says, "How much is it?" The clerk says $1.00. Jakes says, "Okay, here's $3.00, I'll take 111. What is he buying?

and #2

Which of the words below is least like the others? (The difference has nothing to do with vowels, consonants, or syllables.)
  • ROME

Okay, I am off to see a man about a dog. (yes, really....) As always answers to be found later in the comments!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Fighting Fair

My friend Trouble over at Dubious Wonder is mulling over a new chapter in her life and how (if possible) couples can fight fairly.

"It is overwhelming at times, the realization of how much I still have to learn. I don't know how to fight with a person I love in a way that doesn't cause permanent damage. I used to think that love was so strong, that it couldn't be damaged no matter how many fights we had. That was before I learned that love is indeed strong, but it's fragile, too. It can be damaged, and in such a way as to leave scars that do not heal."
Fights happen. We are all human and eventually, even the one that you would walk through fire for will piss you off. That's life. The question is how does one fight fair? How do you have a fight without irreparably damaging the relationship?

Having been happily married for the past 11+ years with plenty of rocky moments and ample opportunities for Shane (aka Hubby) and I to piss eachother off, I thought that maybe I could shed a little light. Speaking only for myself (I'll be asking for Hubby's insight as well) , I personally try to follow a few "fighting" rules.

1) No personal attacks or name calling. You do not bring honor to yourself when your only goal is to "hurt" someone. This does not get your point across. You might as well be pissin' into the wind or tossing molotov cocktails into an inferno. It does no good. When you are angry, it isn't even safe to "jokingly" name call. Don't do it.

2) Ask yourself, is this issue (that you are ready to go toe to toe over) going to matter in 1 day? 1 week? 1 month? 1 year? 5 years? Forever? Adjust your level of anger/hostility accordingly. Not all issues carry the same weight. But anger? Feels like anger.... Every. Time.

3) And speaking of "weight". If you can, WAIT. Cool off. Figure out what it is that you want to say, what you want to get across. Remember, that once things are said they can never be unsaid. Ask yourself, (honestly) is this really an issue or is it hormones? Seriously. Sometimes it's just hormones or a bad day, and we know it.

4) Do not be afraid to say that you are sorry EVEN IF YOU ARE STILL PISSED. Pissed will pass, sorry lasts much longer. And we all say things that are mean when we are pissed. Say you're sorry. It won't kill you.

5) Remind yourself often that though you were continually attacked in the past THIS IS NOT THE PAST. The past is over, this is a completely new person. A completely DIFFERENT relationship. Give the guy the benefit of the doubt even when he says something stupid that pushes so many buttons you feel like a switchboard. (I think that this one is the hardest to follow, btw... )

6) Verbal Zingers are great when you are having fun. But they can be lethal and are nearly impossible to repair when said in anger. Just remember that.

The biggest point I would like to make though, is to CONSTANTLY remind yourself that you LOVE this person. Even if you have to keep saying it out loud while you fight. You do not under any circumstances want to hurt them just to make a flippin' point.

I am certainly not perfect. My relationship with my husband is not perfect. My husband and I have had some time stoppin', arm flappin', toe to toe screaming fights. (Not many, but it's happened). But I have never once felt "unsafe" or "unloved". People fight. Misunderstandings happen. I think it is just better and more effective to play fair...

Anything I have missed? Feel free to leave your suggestion in the comments. Good luck Trouble, I'm pulling for you! And remember my own personal motto:
Complete honesty in word and deed is a good way to get punched out.
True 'dat.

Uh oh....

Now this doesn't bode well....

Okay! Get out your magic erasers, kids. Make sure you check behind your ears too -- wouldn't want to miss any marks!

Fortunately, I did not eat a big plate of crazy today nor am I a card carrying member of or I might be worried.

Makes me wonder why they chose to advertise in my local paper, though....

[Disclaimer: We here at One for the Road do not in any way endorse the website pictured. In fact, that kind of crap um... stuff, while oddly amusing, creeps us (read me) out more than a little. Just sayin'.]

Blogger sucks today...

...I'm just sayin'.

It's Monday....

So why don't we warm up the old braincells with a twofer!


Change one letter in the name of a magazine for outdoorsy travelers to find a possible magazine for grocery employees.

[Of course the real question is, if you worked in a grocery store would you really want to read a magazine dedicated to grocery store life? I don't think so....]


What three words, formed from different arrangements of the same six letters can be used to complete the sentences below?

The posters were all on one theme: protect our ______. The campaign was meant to ______ an awareness and be somewhat ______ than scare tactics.

Answers to follow later in the comments.

Update: Today we have a family of Smartypants! First up is Rachel who writes at Pereiraville and next her cousin jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind . Way to go!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

From the biggest picture..... the smallest atom. This is pretty cool......

I can't decide while watching the progression if I feel big? Or very, very small.... You?

H/T Pop

Not much happening

Not much going on today. I mean I know it's Superbowl Sunday, but when it's not your team playing, its more about the commercials and the snacks.

I will be cheering for Pittsburgh. Go Steelers! (Hubby may cheer for Seattle just to keep it interesting). And there will be yummy things to eat. I am planning to make my infamous taco dip (recipe to follow) and homemade guacamole while the kids will be making their own pizzas to enjoy. Par usual I am all about the yum!
Taco Dip

1 lb pork sausage
1 Brick o'Velveeta
1 24 oz jar of picante sauce (I use Pace Mild)

Brown sausage and drain well, add picante and add cubed Velveeta (you can use Velveeta light with no ill effects). Set heat to low and stir occasionally. (You don't want it to scorch). Once the "cheese" is melted, serve warm with chips.
Now I know this is a super simple recipe, and that Velveeta stretches the definition of "food" but it's crack, people. Pure crack. I don't make it very often because of it's combined unhealthy and addictive nature, but it's just the thing to serve at a Superbowl Party.

Anyway, hope your day is as cheesy and delicious as mine promises to be. Any big plans at your house?

Saturday, February 04, 2006

This just in.....

It has come to my attention that not only is Mr. Blackfive going to make an appearance on CNN's "On The Story" at 7pm Eastern tonight (1pm Eastern tomorrow). But That 1 Guy wants us to submit some guesses as to what color Matt's shirt will be this time (it was such a lovely shade of chartreuse last spring....

So any ideas as to what color the very fashion forward and dapper Matty O'Blackfive will be wearing? Head on over to Drunken Wisdom and leave your guess in the comments.

(I understand there is even going to be a prize awarded -- so nice of Contagion to share his jacket...)

Four Things (again)

And why not. MJ (aka the bald chick) from over at Freedom Folks tagged me with the meme of 4 this morning. My original answers to the meme are here. Four more? Okay, here we go!

Four (more) jobs I have had:

  • Swim lessons instructor
  • In home health care aid (when I was 19. Got to learn how to put a condom catheter in place.... Let's just say that my client was often very happy to see me in the morning. Scars can run deep, people.)
  • Pizza delivery person
  • Waitress

Four (more) places I have lived:

  • Helena, Montana (on lake Hauser -- beautiful place. Even if we did live in the basement of a doublewide trailer (really!). But that's a story for another time.....)
  • Jacksonville, Florida
  • Guthrie, Oklahoma
  • Longmont, Colorado

Four (more) TV shows I love to watch:

  • Extreme Makeover, Home Edition
  • $40 A Day
  • Desperate Housewives (I know.... shut up!)
  • Unwrapped

Four places I have been on Vacation:
(I hit my limit on this one last time so I will substitute...

Four books I love to read (and can again and again...):

  • The Harry Potter series
  • The Godfather
  • The Stand
  • Odd Thomas

Four (more) favorite foods:

Four (more) websites I visit daily:

Four (more) places I would rather be right now:

  • In my kitchen holding a winning lotto ticket
  • At the Pink Palace on the Isle of Corfu
  • Hogwarts (I know it's silly, but I'm serious!)
  • Looking at my "laundry free" laundry room in my perfectly clean house. (yeah, not gonna happen...)

Four people I plan to tag (again):

  • Got your attention, didn't I? Nope. No tagees today. :) I think this meme is done....

Friday, February 03, 2006

More fun for Friday

Lots of running around to do today so the brain bender is getting posted a little early. Funny, I have been "back to work" for about a minute and a half and already family life feels about 1000% more scattered than it used to!

So today, I am going to try and get a much better grip on things. (And a much bigger calendar for scheduling....) Advice is welcome, if you have any...

Anyhoo, here is today's brain bender.....

Puzzling Prices

The corner grocery store prices its food according to the owner's formula. An apple costs $0.41, squash costs $0.48, and zucchini* costs $0.65. According to this system, how much will a tomato cost?


Okay, as always the answer will follow in the comments and the winner will be announced later!

*Naturally in my world, zucchini is always free.....

Update: Today's Smartypants award goes to Bigdocmcd!! (Consonants are worth $.07 and vowels are $.10 so a tomato costs $.51!) Happy Friday!


Well, these ring pretty true.... (via email)


Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Word Ladder

a.k.a. Thursday's brain bender....

Make your way from ARMY to NAVY in nine steps, changing one letter at a time to make a good English word at each step.

_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _
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Also, do not take any wooden nickles along the way (unless they are from Fritz's), pass Go, or pick up any hookers. Answer(s) to follow later in the comments....

Update: Raging Mom from The Splatter Zone is our only smartypants today! Whoohoo!

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Things I have learned... my new job.

It has been interesting... (with only two days in !) And I have learned a couple of things...

First of all, they should both rename and make shorter the CYA movies they make you watch. (Obviously made for those who have been living in a cave and have no freeking idea how to interact with other people). In fact, I think I can distill all of the information I "absorbed" into a quick list of bullet points...

  • Stop being a dick -- you're not funny.
  • Leave the tube top and micro mini at home you big hootchie.
  • She doesn't like you -- leave her alone.
  • Ummmm.... this is not the 2nd grade -- don't make fun of people. Ever.
  • If you get cancer, don't come cryin' to us (the corporation). It's not our fault.
  • Grownups wear "real" shoes -- leave the flip flops at home.
  • Show up at work. On time. Not drunk. (duh...)
  • This company is great! Everything we do is great! You must always believe that we are the greatest!
  • Do not mention any perceived "differences" aloud. Ever. We don't care if your co-worker is purple and worships dead leaves. Leave it alone.
  • Lift with your knees. I mean... you can use your hands and arms too, but lift with your knees!! Oh nevermind..... Just try not to f - up your back, okay?

See? That's pretty easy to understand. And it doesn't take 3+ hours to get it across either! A couple of other things I have learned....

  • My husband can make the bed. (This is a biggie -- trust me...)
  • He can also do the dishes (meaning successfully load and run the dishwasher.)
  • I still am in charge of cleaning the hamster cage.
  • Since I automatically wake up early, when I know that I have to wake up early -- damn, I wake up REALLY early. (Over and over again...)
  • It's weird to pick up the girls from school and see for the first time that day what they are wearing....

Okay, that's enough education for today. Let's see what I figure out tomorrow!


I'm tired. Mostly just from trying really hard not to screw up than from actual physical labor. But tired none the less... So what do tired bloggers post? Quizes!
[audible groan]
Yeah, yeah, I know. So, get over it already....

haha.. lemur
wow your a lemur! you completly RAWK! ^^ you love

to be completly weird and just in general you

freak people out O_o your particular species

of lemur is the ring tailed lemur.

o_O What weird creature are you? O_o
brought to you by Quizilla

Blame (or credit) goes to Ktreva at The Reality Ranch. She started it... ;)

Wednesday's Brain Bender

Shadow and Other avid mountain climbers paid a lot of money to be the first to scale a mountain. After several days of climbing they finally reached the pinnacle, and to their dismay, found a cabin and three frozen bodies. Since Shadow and his fellow climbers were the first men ever to climb the summit, how could this be possible?


Okay, as always the answer to be found in the comments later!

Update: Today we get two smartypants for the price of one! T1G from Drunken Wisdom had the "official" correct answer and Tige who writes at Blue Tige gets a smartypants sticker as well for coming up with a correct answer even though it was not the "official" one.

Also, a quick honorable mention to both CalTechGirl and Contagion for figuring out the "from the air" mode of transport. And to Alli and Kim for being the most creative. I just love that I can make my own rules....