My occasionally snarky thoughts on everything from motherhood, politics, life and current events. Cocktails are sometimes mandatory. Bottoms up!

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Why is it???

When the Washing Machine starts to make the:

thumpa - - - thumpa - - - thumpa - - - THUMPA - - - WHANGA - WHANGA - WHANGA - WHANGA - WHANGA..WHANGA..WHANGA..WHANGA..

That it will suddenly **stop** after I have raced from the office, down the rickety basement stairs, and reached the machine???

I think the damn thing has it in for me....

How many kids??

I know that *I* have asked the question "How many kids do I have???" before, but this is a bit ridiculous! Here is Wednesday's Brain Bender...


Grace has three more brothers than she has sisters. Her brother Harry has twice as many brothers as sisters. How many boys and girls are in the family?

(Hint: There are no more than 10.)


Okay, there you go. We have Grace and Harry and who knows who else... The answer, like always, will be in the comments later.

Update: (And I forgot to do it yesterday - sorry!) Our winner is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind! Whoohoo!

If I were trying to kill you...

...I'd use my hands!!

I saw this itchy story over at Ellison's (inspired by this story - holy crap!), and it reminded me of one of the times I inadvertently tried to kill my Hubby. Well, to tell the truth.... it was more than once. But I didn't know!!

See... Ellison talks about growing up with poison ivy all around. He knew what it looked like. And when he was exposed (and apparently looked like the Elephant Man) his Mom and the Doc knew just what to do. And Ellison knew enough to avoid the stuff even more diligently from then on.
Monday morning arrived. There was no question of my going to school. My face had swollen to the point where I could barely see through my slitted eyes. I'm sure I itched all over as well, but my main recollections are of my horrifyingly swollen face. How much worse could things get? Would my windpipe swell shut? Gaaaahhh!

I vaguely recall stumbling about, mumbling, I am not an animal! I am a human being!" [Just kidding.]
My hubby was also exposed and had a terrible reaction to poison oak as a kid. I frankly, had no idea. I mean, I'd heard of poison ivy and poison oak and read about how horrible it was (and laughed/cringed at the stories I'd heard about people getting rashes in *unusual* places), but I really had no clue.

You see, I grew up in Wyoming. And while there probably *is* poison ivy and poison oak growing somewhere in the state - it sure as hell wasn't where I lived. Or anywhere we went. I never saw it. So I didn't know really what it was, where it grew, or what it looked like. Wyoming is an arid state. Bad soil, high winds, dry climate, hot summers.... Stuff just doesn't grow there! And I had no idea about poison sumac...

So, fast forward a few years. Hubby and I had moved from Helena, Montana to St. Louis, Missouri. Me, him, two little girls, and a dog.

We had a cute little rental house right near where he worked, in a quiet neighborhood, at the bottom of a hill. Part of the deal with the landlady was that we were to be responsible for our own lawn care. Fine by me. Hubby likes to edge and mow and we felt fine about maintaining our own space.

We were also right next to a cement "canal" that handled the run-off of the rain water from the interstate. And there was about a six foot fenced space between our yard and the "canal."

Where the weed trees grew.

So our first summer there, I noticed these weed trees growing in the somewhat jungle-ish space next to the yard. Our responsibility?? Hard to say... but with much rain and a few hot days the weed trees had grown up really tall - well over six feet. And a few sprouts began to appear on our side of the fence. So I sent hubby out one Saturday with clippers and gloves to deal with the problem.

Down came the weed trees - up blew my husband. Itchy and miserable.

Did we make the connection, you ask?? No. Of course not. Hubby figured he must have gotten in to some poison ivy when he jumped the fence to go after the "trees." He didn't see any, of course. So we weren't sure what had happened to him. And I had helped with weed tree disposal, and *I* was fine... So we had no clue.

After two or three more weed tree battles (always with some sort of an itchy episode afterward) we had managed to "kill" the weed trees for that summer. The itch/rash suffered by my hubby was always attributed to the poison ivy that he couldn't see... But we had won for now, the weed trees were down. And we merrily went on about our lives and didn't think about the weed trees anymore. Until the following summer...

The weed trees were back and with a vengeance. Holy cow!! They were taking over... So Hubby at *my* suggestion (brave man that he is) donned gloves plus long sleeves, long pants, boots and a bandanna over his face and once again jumped the fence to wage war with the weed trees. Thinking, of course, that he was completely covered and therefore not vulnerable to the invisible poison ivy that had gotten to him the year before. And he showered IMMEDIATLY afterward. Again, I helped. Again, I was fine...

Oh no... hell no... Not twelve hours later he was covered with a blistery itchy rash... EVERYWHERE. The poor guy missed 3 days of work and practically *drank* calamine lotion. He wore nothing but a large towel - for three-freekin'-days. It was awful... I felt soooooo bad for him, and still we had no idea...

I was again, fine. No problems... No itching... no rash.... Nada. We were again without a clue.

Then on the seventh day of his misery (and following gallons of calamine lotion and God knows how many oatmeal baths) knowledge visited our house...

On the evening news they were doing a "plants to avoid" segment - I looked up and saw............... the weed trees.

Holy shit, I had been sending my hubby out to tango with poison freeking sumac!! Year after year. Again and again. And because of his childhood exposure to poison oak, he was even more susceptible to a terrible reaction. Me?? Not so much.

So, Sorry Honey! I didn't mean to keep making you go get all blistery and rashy. I'll try not to poison you any more..... And it helps that we no longer live next to the weed trees...

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Ready to play??

Even after a whole weekend of popsicles and playing, I wasn't really feeling like I wanted to go work today. Though I still "work" when I'm home, I like it better here. Go figure.

Anyway, it's time for today's Brain Bender from the handy dandy MENSA calendar. Ready? Here we go!


Find the word that fits the definitions below when it's 1) a whole word and 2) divided into two words.

1) Whole word: overturn

2) Two words:
a. covering
b. measure


Okie doke, you know what to do... The answer will be found later in the comments. Happy Montuesday!

Update: Today's official smartypants is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind! Whoohoo!

I'm it!

And I have been *it* for better than a week. Trouble tagged me with this meme and I just hadn't gotten around to it... Well, until now...
  • I AM a wife and mother first. That's just the way it is...
  • I WANT my girls to grow up knowing that they can do anything they set their minds to.
  • I HATE spiders. And duplicitous people.
  • I MISS my grandparents. I would have loved for them to have known my children.
  • I FEAR that I am not good enough, sometimes.
  • I HEAR the sound of the A/C - it got hot, people!
  • I WONDER about the future and what it holds. Both the good and bad.
  • I REGRET little. Everything in my life has brought me to this place and circumstance. And I am pretty happy...
  • I AM NOT a pushover. Do not let my inherent kindness and congeniality fool you. When pushed, I can push back. Hard when necessary...
  • I DANCE rarely. I look like a doofus enough of the time.
  • I SING relatively well, considering... I can carry a tune and I sound a bit like Kim Carnes.
  • I CRY not all that often but with good reason.
  • I AM NOT ALWAYS as nice as I should be.
  • I MAKE WITH MY HANDS lots of yummy deliciousness.
  • I WRITE daily. Hopefully to entertain.
  • I CONFUSE little. Generally, people's intentions/motivations are clear to me.
  • I NEED to get going to work.
  • I SHOULD do more housework.
  • I START projects that I sometimes don't finish.
  • I FINISHed this meme. Yay!

Okay, enough about me... How are you?

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Slippery when wet....

Oh yeah... Doesn't this make you wish you were 9 again??

Me too...

Saturday, May 27, 2006

No rest for the wicked....

But I'll tell you, I'm just about ready to be done working for today...

The laundry has been taken down a couple of notches and I got all of my annuals put in the ground and the patio "company ready." That always makes a girl feel good...

It's hot. Like 81 - and now feels like a good time to go and enjoy the fruits of my labors but I want to accomplish just a couple more things before I start channeling this feeling...

Though I must admit, my bikini days are over... o.v.e.r. And I'm okay with that. (Can you imagine a cat *ever* putting up with having that done to them?? Me either...)

What?? You thought I was going to post something serious and of substance?? Not today... My 3 brain cells aren't even speaking to each other and I am having a "news free" weekend.

For really good Memorial Day Weekend posting you should go read Laughing Wolf here and here or Gerard Vanderleun from American Digest here. They knocked it outta the park...

Friday, May 26, 2006

Who says white men can't dance???

This guy holds his own okay...

The evolution of dance.

It's Friday. I say we all boggie down in whatever way we can... : )

It's going to be one of those days....

It's not yet 8:00am and the hamster has already escaped and been found, a band-aid administered, a fall down the stairs (she's okay), and two instances of "uh, but why??"

Mornings around here are not for the faint of heart...

(But I'm still thrilled to have the day off. Happy Friday!)

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Stressed?? Me???

Huh. And I thought I was feeling so good! Happily, it is cocktail hour...

Your Stress Level is: 64%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now.
Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out.
Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only wa you'll get through the bad times.

Found over at Rachel's place.

Mind Trap

The discount MENSA calendar's Brain Bender was beyond lame-o today to I had to go to my backup source for questions. MindTrap. And I thought just for the hell of it (and to maximize time spent *not* working), we could do two. Anyhoo, ready?? Here we go...


Duncan Drivel was asked how many ducks he had. "Well," he said, "they just walked down that path and I didn't actually count them, but I remember one duck in front of two ducks, another duck behind two ducks and another duck between two ducks." How many ducks does Duncan have??

[Might I add that Duncan sounds nucking futs!]


Mrs. Goodbody has a box of socks in her closet containing 24 red socks and 24 green socks. since the closet is completely dark, that is the smallest number of socks she has to remove in order to be certain of getting two socks of different colors?

[Mr. Goodbody is currently chained up in the basement because he criticized his wife's bizarro sock collection. She's nucking futs too....]


Okay, you know how to play. Answers will be found later in the comments. Have fun!

Update: Today's official smartypants is Dash from The Boiling Point. Whoohoo! And thanks for playing y'all...

It's Summer....

Summer arrived yesterday - all on one day.... Whabbo! Boom! Schebang. SUMMER. How can I tell??

Last night for dinner we had hot dogs on the grill, corn on the cob, and watermelon. Mmmmmm. And for dessert I made a chocolate pie.

The junebugs are out and about and I saw my first yellowjacket. Not necessarily a good sign, but a sign of summer none the less.

Then to top off the evening we had a HUGE thunderstorm.

So see?? Summer. I haven't turned on the A/C yet though. I'm going to hold out on that for as long as I can...

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

You ever write a comment so long...

That you decide it should just be a post??

Freddie over at Warts and All had a post concerning the fact that at her daughter's daycare, they are "teaching" the idea that guns are bad. No.... beyond bad. That guns are scary, evil, bad, and should not be so much as be thought about. Even pictures of guns should strike fear in all children's hearts.

Bleh. I hate when schools (or daycare) out of the goodness in their little Nanny State hearts, decide to indoctrinate kids with their own f-ed up, watered down, glitter covered view of the world. And good, bad, or indifferent, as her daughter gets older, the list of things that she will get taught are "bad" will grow. Some in a good way. Like...
"snorting coke while driving 85mph and blowing your boyfriend is a bad thing to do..."
Oh wait, the schools don't "teach" that. I do. The schools just cover *everything* with "Just say NO. Don't do drugs." Yeah, and then a lucky parent gets to have a 3 hour discussion about how taking tylenol when you are sick is a different thing than taking "drugs." (And this conversation usually happens at 2am with a feverish child.) Lovely.

Not to mention the touchy feely b.s. that gets handed out. By the shovelful. Everything is about esteem and feelings anymore. Eve.ry.thing. Every kid get a medal. Every kid gets a certificate. Every kid gets a sticker, a ribbon, a prize. And nobody gets singled out or feels truly accomplished or God forbid, "special."

For example, I am supposed to send my eldest daughter a "love letter" to school to help boost her self esteem. What the heck this is about, I have no idea... Or as my hubby asked, "Is there a problem she is having? What's up with that??"

No, no problem. This is just the "guidance" counselor's pet project. woo-hoo.

Does she have low self esteem, you ask? Hell, no! She's fine. She knows how proud we are of her and how much we love her because we tell her every day. Duh... That's what parents (should) do. I do not like it when school starts trying to step into my shoes. Frankly, it squishes my toes and pisses me off.

A love letter. On their "special" stationery. Sent to school.
"Oh, but we will be keeping them absolutely private unless your child _______ wants to share...."
What a total load of shit.* Have I sent mine in yet? Well no. Because I think it's crap. But the guidance counselor saw me in the hall yesterday and with flapping arms, guilt tripped me in to saying I would get it sent in. (What is it with guidance counselors, anyway. Did I *ask* for any guidance?? Did either of my kids?? No??? Then what the hell good is she?)

Anyway, I'm off to write a letter. But maybe I should take a happy pill or do some deep breathing or something first... My attitude sucks right now....

*I do not begrudge having to write K. a love letter. I have written both girls letters in the past... I just do not like being told to do it, or how it will potentially negatively affect K. if I don't. That's crap.

Alphabet Soup

No, not for lunch. Alphabet Soup is the title of Wednesday's Brain Bender.....


The 16 letters below can be anagrammed into a four-word (fairly common) phrase.* What is the phrase?



Okay, the rules [Uh - what rules??] remain the same. The answer will be found later in the comments.

*the calendar offered a clue. I don't think we'll need it, but I will post it later if need be...

Okay, time for the clue (but there are many funny guesses in the comments.... Thanks Rachel and Mark).

The answer will be a four word phrase meaning "Absolutely Lovely."

Update: Today's winner is Rachel from Pereiraville - she has been most creative today... ; )

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

From the mouths of babes....

Just for fun. (The third one is my favorite...)



Em and Sam...

a.k.a. The subjects of Tuesday's Brain Bender...


Emily is three times as old as Samantha. In six years, she will be twice as old as Samantha. Three years ago, she was Five times Samantha's age.

How old are they now?


And man... I bet Emily is *over* babysitting. Okay, answer to be found in the comments later!

Update: Today's recipient of the smartypants sticker is the illustrious CalTech Girl from Not Exactly Rocket Science. Whoohoo!

Did you ever...

...think you got up in plenty of time to write a post that has been percolating in your head only to discover that you had lunches to pack, socks to find, homework to check, and then had to spend 15 minutes sewing the underwire back into your bra??



Just me then...

And damn... this thing is still poking me.... ::sigh:: Since when did Tuesday become Monday II??

Monday, May 22, 2006

Better late than Never....

Or is it "better never late??" Either way, life intruded (as it is sometimes known to do). Here is Monday's Brain Bender....


A Tom Swifty

First unscramble the letters in each word below, then unscramble the word order to create a Tom Swifty sentence.



It's rather pointless to "spell check" this for sure.... Okay, you know what to do. Answer to be found later in the comments.

Update: Today's winner is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind! Whoohoo!


It's dark. I'm up. I look like I slept face down all night long. ::sigh::

The dogs have been playing *OUT* ... *IN* ... *OUT* ... *IN* ... *OUT* ... *IN* already. Bleh.


Sunday, May 21, 2006

Lazy Sunday...

Well, no. Not really. But a girl can hope can't she?? First chance I have had to sit at the computer (or sit period) today. Busy, busy, busy.... **sigh** Frankly, I am tired of being busy.

Oh well, as the old saying goes "No rest for the Wicked and the Righteous don't need any...." I don't know what group I'm in but *that* doesn't seem to matter. There is always more to do.

So I saw this over at Tammi's - seems like an appropriate thing to post today.

Your Ideal Pet is a Big Dog

You're both energetic, affectionate, and a bit goofy.
And neither of you seem to mind very slobbery kisses!

Yup, sounds about right... And I am sure that they would agree...
Free Image Hosting at

Saturday, May 20, 2006

And after 10 days of rain??

You bet I can relate!!!

Free Image Hosting at
Free Image Hosting at
It's going to be soccer all day around here for us. I just hope that the sun keeps shining....

Friday, May 19, 2006

One more day on the planet for me...

Nothing like a near death experience first thing in the morning to get the old juices flowing...

So on my way into work this morning, I was stopped at the one big intersection I have to go through, waiting for the light to change. Thinking about the day ahead, getting my game plan layed out, searching for a good song on the radio, sip of diet coke... The usual.

Light turns green, I start on my way and just happened to see the ginormous green Semi bearing down on me from the west. Instinctively, I stopped, about a third of the way through the intersection (as did the other guy across from me headed North) and we watched as the Semi locked up it's breaks sliding and literally smoking through the red light going 50+ mph. He finally came to a stop about 100 feet past the intersection. Then continued on.

Whew! Okay!! Let's back up. Wait for the next green light (the red had changed by then) and continue on our way. Just a little more grateful than we were just 4 minutes earlier. Or a lot. Holy crap.

The really good news?? (Aside from not being t-boned and FUBAR this morning...) The more I thought about it, and the more I thought about the fact that I could have been killed the calmer I got.**

You know, with the exception of just not being ready to leave my girls, or my hubby, and generally not wanting to die, it wasn't like I suddenly thought:
"My life is all wrong! I haven't done ____. Or seen ____. Or experienced _______. I can't die yet!!!" Nor did I think, "I've missed my chance at true happiness! I'm with the wrong man! I should have done everything differently!"
Nope, none of that. So I guess my life is okay. And I'm on the right path. And that's good to know, right?

Still, remember Kids... Wear your seatbelt and look both ways. Sometimes there is a ginormous green Semi bearing down from the West....

**Note to God: Do not under any circumstances think that I am even remotely ready or wanting to come for a visit, meet and greet, grip and grin, or to talk to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Hmmmmkay?? I am not ready yet. And thanks for the good breaks/reflexes this morning. They came in handy...

More word fun for Friday...

Last Brain Bender of the week. TGIF y'all....


Which of the words below is least like the others??



This one is easy schmeasy - so I have a feeling it's a first come first serve. Bonus points for creative sentences if you feel so inclined. : ) And like always, answer to follow in the comments later.

Half a Step from the greenhouse, Mom saw that little Jimmy had stuffed straw in all of her pots.

Update: The official and speedy smartypants today is Rachel from Pereiraville. Whoohoo!
George! Why is half of your step-mom burried in the straw beside those pots?!
And Bonus Points to the debonair Ellison for this sentence:
Mom took the step of emptying the soup pots by sucking half of the contents out through a straw, getting blue in the face, and then dumping the remainder into the sink in frustration.
Thanks for playing, everybody!

Update 2: And Sticks chimed in with this doozy....
The half-crazed Step-Mom stirred the pot of boiling children when the last straw finally snapped.


Blogger just isn't working right this morning... That is soooooo frustrating! Grrrrr....

Thursday, May 18, 2006

So, what do you use Vaseline for??

A funny via email....

A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?"

She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it all the time."

"If you don't mind my asking," he said, "what do you use it for?"

"We use it for sex," she said.

The researcher was a little taken aback. "Usually people lie to me and say they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been so frank so far, can you tell me exactly HOW you use it for sex?"

The woman said, "I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the doorknob and it keeps the kids out."


It's also good for soothing chapped *anything*. Just sayin'.

Only 5% Yankee??

Living with an Okie all these years must be having an affect! 'Course I scored only 5% Dixie too... So maybe not.

Your Linguistic Profile::
70% General American English
15% Upper Midwestern
5% Dixie
5% Yankee
0% Midwestern

I found this over at Warts & All. Thanks Freddie!

And even more fun with words....

Thursday's Brain Bender. And it just kills me that the question starts out with the phrase, "To the best of our knowledge..." C'mon MENSA people!!! You are the folks that are supposed to know! Don't be wishy-washy, go for it!

Anyway, here we go....


To the best of our knowledge, only one other word can be made from all of the letters in the word VERIFICATIONS, using each letter only once.

What is the word?


Okay, you know how this goes. The answer will be found in the comments later. : )

Update: Kudos and a smartypants sticker goes to Dash from The Boiling Point today. Whoohoo!

Having a bad day?

Well, at least you're not this guy....

I think there is a lesson to be learned here.... Darned if I can figure out quite what it is though.

And in other crotchworthy news, TC over at Twisted Chili has a posted a (grinning through the pain) hilarious story about "getting his shoe-laces tied."
So there I am, stretched out on the examination bed, bald shiny scrotum
bare to the air, like Odd Job without his bowler. OK, not shiny, that would probably be biologically impossible, except maybe with good saddle soap and too much friction.
It's a two-parter and has a happy ending... No, really. Go! Here's Part one & Part two and, what the hell... coconut guy.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

More word fun...

The discount MENSA calendar seems to be stuck on word problems.... Ah well... Here is today's Brain Bender.


Fill in the blanks to complete the word below:

I _ D _ _ T _ _ C _ I _ L E


Yup, that's it. Short and sweet I guess... Anyway, like always the answer will appear in the comments later.

Update: Today's winner and official smartypants is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind. Whoohoo!

Six of one, Half a dozen of the other...

Does it really matter?

I find that I often wake up before the alarm goes of. For those keeping score that means right around 3:45am my eyes pop open and I am essentially "awake." Many days I just go on ahead and get up, but there are other days (like today) that I talk myself out of getting up and continue to doze for the next half hour, feel even more tired, and then am pissed at myself that I didn't just get up in the first place...

So which is better, do you think? Do you go ahead and squeeze in those extra few minutes in bed or are you up and adam? And does it really matter at all? (Do you 'spoze it's a bad thing if I am already thinking about taking a nap this afternoon?)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Harvey's one of the cool kids for sure!

And that means I might be too! Whoohoo!

I was notified today that I had been included in the Blogs with a Face collage. Since 1) I had never heard of "Blogs with a Face" and 2) they used the Bad Example Clan Member tartan as my image (WTF??) I was going to wait until they had replaced that image with one I emailed before I blogged about it.

But oh well, Harvey says it's cool and legit so it *must* be. Now if they could just have me paired with a more appropriate "One For The Road-ish" image....

I guess I could just be happy that they didn't choose this picture:

(Thanks Basil for giving me a new image for ArmyWifeToddlerMom's interview. It's nice to have some clothes on at your place for a change....) ; -)

Anyhoo, I too am on Blogs with a Face. And here is the image *I* submitted.... Better, don't you think?

Update: Well, that was fast... BWAF has my image updated and now Harvey's image is that of the BE Clan Tartan.

All is right with the world again. And as Harvey explains:
I'll be the Bad Example Clan banner. By special arrangement with the host, if you're a member of the Bad Example Clan, mention it when you send in your picture, and Thomsen (the brilliant and talented host of the site) will put you in my row (or somewhere to my right, at least, depending on your screen resolution).

Just a couple of things....

Well, the brain bender didn't last long... Smart people read my blog, obviously.

I am playing catch-up today. Yesterday was a bit of a wash - between work in the morning (not though with the Crazy Lady so far this week), and a meeting in the afternoon that had me a bit stressed out, errands that needed to be run, and hubby being off, very little got accomplished on the homefront.

So today I am going all domestic. Laundry, cooking and cleaning are on the agenda. Thank heavens I can also talk on the phone while I do those things, and occasionally take quick breaks to surf the interweb.

I'm planning to try a new recipe too. Artichokes have finally started looking good, and I have been dying to try this recipe for Parmesan Garlic Roasted Artichokes. Mmmmmm.... Artichokes.... I'll let you know how it turns out.


  • Am I the only one who was kind of left cold by the season finale of Grey's Anatomy last night?? They are going to kill Denny off and get rid of the cutie vet guy now?? That's crap. And that whole "prom at the hospital" b.s.? More crap. Boo.
  • My car is annoying the hell outta me. Why does it need to be able to "tell me" that it is time to change the oil??? Ugh. I need a "Chevy Shut Up" button already!
  • How is it that laundry breeds when you are not looking?? Or do I just have 3 or 4 extra people living here that I don't know about?
  • VW is home and apparently survived her family trip to the Magic Kingdom so I can relinquish my keys to her blog. Welcome home VW, Mr. VW, Tater and Tot!

Okay, I am off to make stuffed shells and start my artichokes getting happy. Happy Tuesday!

More fun with words...

Tuesday's Brain Bender...


What two words, formed from different arrangements of the same seven letters, can be used to complete the sentences below?

The ________ kept a very up-to-date practice. She never ________ herself in the way of the latest equipment or materials.


Okay! While I go play catch up, you know what to do. Answers will be found in the comments later. : )

Update: Today's speedy recipient of the smartypants sticker is friend and reader Rich Blank! And here you go!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Sounds like something Contagion would be into...

At least the "World" kind... Here is Monday's Brain Bender...


To the best of our knowledge, only one other word can be made from all of the letters in the word DOMINATION, using each letter only once.

What is the word??


Okay, that's the "official" Brain Bender. I am also willing to give bonus points for made-up words with an accompanying definition. Have fun! And like always, answers to be found in the comments later...

Update: Today's winner of the Smartypants award is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind Whoohoo!

And providing our new word of the day is Og the Neanderpundit with ::drumroll::

Mysoginista (n.) Uh... hello!! If you can't figure out what it means you get 20 lashes (you bad boy...) Now, go polish my boots...

It's going to be one of those days....

Going to have to try new ways of doing things.

Oh but what I wouldn't give to still be in bed....

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Do you 'spoze...'s bad if I am considering making corn dogs for my "very special Mother's Day dinner"?? Hmmmm??

I read through this week's special Mother's Day edition of the Carnival of the Recipes and now I am both hungry and unmotivated...

So..... corn dogs?? What do you think??


Reading around this week, I have discovered that we mothers are bound together with more than just collective strechmarks and apron strings. The one thing that *every* mother I know has in relative abundance is guilt.

Guilt that we do too much... or not enough... Guilt that we work to hard. Guilt when we only work at home. Guilt when we are comparing ourselves to the "perky, perfect Moms". Guilt when we are not there for every bump and bruise. Guilt when we were there that we didn't prevent injury from happening.

We've all got it, a big slab of guilt, with a side of mashed guilt and some guilt sauce.

From Bou (who I think is one of the best mom's ever...)
But this week has been a real low here and I’ve been struggling as a parent on many fronts. There are people who are just naturally good parents.

Then there are those who would naturally suck at it, but work real hard in the hopes
they will in the end get the ratings of 'decent'.

I fall into the category of those that naturally suck. But I try. I try hard and with all my failings as a parent, that are so evident to me at the end of every day, I hope that in the end they remember I tried.
She found her redemption in a poem read by her son. (And I'm not buyin' that she sucks. Even if she feels that she does.)

And then I read Christina's "Confessions of a Self Absorbed Parent." Personally, I think she is doing a wonderful job raising her kids to be self sufficient, productive members of society. I don't understand her feelings that as a Mother she has been self absorbed. She seems like she has been doing a pretty great job in my book...

And sometimes we mothers turn on eachother (which in my mind is just asanine.) The Stay at Home Moms who think they are better than the Working Mothers and vice versa.

From Trouble: (Who is sick and tired of the "Mommy Wars" )
...working wasn't an option, it was a necessity. It has always been that way, for me. I didn't get to choose. After my six weeks of maternity leave, while crying many, many tears, I sucked it up and went back to work because I had to. My mom, a SAHM forever, gave me the best verbal ass-kicking of my life about it, and that helped a lot: "Being a mom means doing what you have to do to take care of your kids, whatever that is, and not complaining about it." That's an ass-kicking we could all take to heart, whether we work or stay at home.
And that's just it. We do what we must. Even when it feels like we suck at this whole Motherhood thing. And sometimes God sends us an angel to let us know that we really are doing okay. And that we need not feel guilty. That we are doing a good job.

From Rave:

The young woman rolled down her window.


“Yes?” Another deep breath, I want to collapse, to go home and put the kids down for a nap.

“We just wanted to let you know that we think you are doing a wonderful job with your kids.”

That’s it. I lost it. Full out waterfalls from my eyes. “Thank you.” I choked out. And they drove off. I do not know who they were, but right then they were the voice of angels.

Simple words from strangers. And it made the rest of my day bearable.
I think Rave has the best definition/description of motherhood out there. As she wrote...

Being a mom doesn’t mean having rainbows and butterflies everyday. It means rainbows and butterflies and permanent marker on your walls and gum on your shoes. It means trudging along, following your heart and hoping you are doing the right thing. And maybe, just maybe, when your kids grow up they won’t need therapy, and will thank you for all the paper towels you gave them so they could clean up their own messes.

Happy Mother's Day y'all. Here's hoping that none of us runs out of paper towels.

Happy Mother's Day!!

I wish us all a very happy day filled with joy.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom! (aka Grandy)

Happy Mother's Day Patti! (aka GranPatti)

Happy Mother's Day, Loretta! (aka Grandma Loretta)

Happy Mother's Day, Grandma! (aka G.G.)

How did mother's day start out at my house? Oh. I am so glad you asked!

Eldest (K) : "Hey Mom?? Mooooommmm?!?! "

Me: "What!?!?"

K: "What's a tampon???"

Me: "Excuse me??"

K: "What's a tampon?? t - a - m - p - . . . "

Me: "Uh... Honey, I know how to spell it.... Why??"

K: "Well, they talk about them in that book you gave me.... "

Me: "The one you got for your birthday??" (in September??)

K: "Yeah. Did you know there were pictures too??"

Me: ::sigh:: "Can we wait and talk about this after we get home from church? Please?? Then I will answer any questions you have..."

K: "Sure! Okay... Thanks, Mom!"

Oh boy... And Youngest wants to know if I have a curling iron she can use. Oh boy...

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Just in time for Mother's Day

Ahhh... Brotherly love....

Saturday funny...

A new definition for "blue balls"...


A week after their marriage, the redneck newlyweds, Ed and Arlene, paid a visit to their doctor.

"You ain't gonna believe this, Doc," said the husband. "My thingy's turnin' blue."

"That's pretty unusual," said the doctor. "Let me examine you."

The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, the redneck's "thingy" really was blue.

The doctor turns to the wife, "Are you using the diaphragm that I prescribed for you?"

"Yep, shore am," she replied brightly.

"And what kind of jelly are you using with it?"


h/t Loretta and Dal

I'm just sayin'...

You know, I absolutely LOVE that I don't have to get up at 4am on Saturdays. Love, love, love it. I love that I feel like I have totally "slept-in" at 6:30. I love that I can stay in bed until 8:00 if I feel like it.

I love my Saturday mornings. Love 'em. : )

Friday, May 12, 2006

Just F.Y.I.

Once again VW Bug has headed off to Orlando and the Magic Kingdom with Tater and Tot to have some fun and meet up with Boudicca and her Rolling Ball of Noise. I can just imagine the blog fodder that can and will be generated on this outing. Oh. my. goodness.

For what it's worth, I will be holding down the fort over at One Happy Dog Speaks because VW has lost her ever lovin' mind really enjoyed Sticks and I guest blogging for her.

The woman must have acquired a cleaning fairy to trust us with the keys to her blog after the mess we made there last time. Good grief! (And hey, can I borrow that fairy sometime?? I could really use one around here.

Anyway, it's not as good as a trip to Disney World, but if you have ever felt to need to entertain yourself at Wally World, I have posted some suggestions.

American Soldier

My favorite Sgt. has been "messing around with windows movie maker." You should go and view the results... American Soldier.

Well, if this is just messing around, I'm sure I would more than marvel at the result if he were to get serious. It's good. Really good. Thanks, Sgt. Hook...

A different sort of cat blogging...

Once again from the handy dandy discount MENSA calendar I bring you Friday's Brain Bender...


Change one letter in the name of a feline magazine to find a magazine about millinery.


Okay. You know how this works. Answer to be found in the comments later. What I want to know, is who would subscribe?? And why??

Update: Our winner today is Rave from Quid Nunc! Whoohoo! Good to know that she likes other animals besides snakes.

Tales from the workplace...

You know, I wasn't sure what to expect when I went back to work. Especially working in a factory environment. I had never done it before, and I work with a large, part-time, mostly older female group. That's just the way it is...

Yesterday I was paired up with the Crazy Lady. Not our first time to work together, mind you. But it had been a while. We and a couple of other gals were tasked with re-doing an order that had not met up with Quality Assurance standards. Okay. Whatever. What that meant that I was in for a long tedious day while constantly being called the wrong name.

You see, Crazy Lady (lets go to C.L. for short) just looooooves to work with me, but not long after I started she decided that calling me "Rich" or "Richmond" just wasn't going to work for her. It didn't sound "right in my head" she explained. Uh, Okay...

Anyway, after a few weeks of trying various forms, my name has morphed into "Ricky." (Rickee? Rickie? Riquee? Ricki? Whatever. Great. "Ricky" it is.)
"Oh yes, that's much better..." --C.L.
Now keep in mind that CL sounds exactly like "Ricky's" Mom in Better Off Dead. Oh freekin joy. And naturally, she is one of those folks that have to be yammering away, constantly explaining everything that they are doing or that you should be doing in minute detail all the time, over and over and over again... forever. So all day yesterday I was subjected to participated in a series of endless conversations that went like this...

C.L. "Now Ricky, I'm going to hand you these parts in smaller amounts. I think that will work better for me..."

Me: "Okay."

C.L. "Yes Ricky, I think that handling smaller groups will work better and then, even though it will take more time, we will be better off using smaller groups that fit my hand better... I have noticed Ricky, that you have fairly large hands, and you can handle and control more parts than I can, but I think this will work better for me... Okay, Ricky?"

Me: "Okay."

C.L. "Oh great! Now I know that I will be ale to do this in a way that really works for me, Ricky. And you know, I always prefer to work a little slower and get things done right the first time so that we do not have to go through all of these parts again. That would be really silly, wouldn't it Ricky? And such a waste of our time. Now here you go... I am going to keep handing you these parts in smaller amounts that fit my hand better so that we can...."

You get the picture. I felt like I was trapped in a Gary Larson cartoon. This one...

Yup. Me and Ginger. We could hang, Yo.

The really funny part whas when my boss came over to check our progress and I was estimating the amount of time we would be on the job when C.L. pipes up:

"Now Ricky, you make sure that you include the carton that we are working on because we wouldn't want to estimate our time incorrectly." [Directed to the Boss lady] "Ricky is so great to work with, she really accommodates the way I like to do things like holding smaller numbers of parts, and she has been keeping things so organized for us!" [Back to me.] "Ricky, make sure you tell her about the other problems we have been finding... We don't want to have to do this job over again! That would really be silly... Wouldn't it, Ricky??"

All the while my boss is looking at me with this WTF?? expression. So I shrug, and get on with the task at hand. Later, she asks me...

Boss lady: "Hey, did I hear that right? Does C.L. call you Ricky??"

Me: "Yeah."

B.L. "Why??"

Me: "I have no idea. She said that "Rich" didn't sound right in her head so she subsequently re-named me. I think it's just easier to go with it."

B.L. "Oh. Probably..."

And let's face it. It's a tad better than "Richie" would be.... (Or as Bou would probably agree, Skippy... ) Just so long as it "sounds okay in her head" I figure I can live with it. Maybe.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Thursday's Brain Bender

Well, this should be fun.

What do the following words have in common?
  • MORE

You know what to do. Answers will be found in the comments later. And just because you know how I love to help you waste time at work bring out our creativity, I'll award bonus points for using the words in a sentence...

I'll even go first:

"As the miser gathered more pairs of socks, he felt he would soon be able to avenge the theft of his favorite winter boots."

And yes, he's crazy. Anyhoo, have fun!!

Update: Today's smartypants sticker goes to Dash from the Boiling Point! Whoohoo! And extra credit points are awarded to VW and Rachel and Kim too. Thanks for playing everybody!

Random Stuff...

It just one of those days. One of those days that you can just tell is going to be busy and yet fairly non-productive...

I have a ton of things on my list to get done. Screaming at me from the top is Mother's Day. Holy Cow! How this particular holiday manages to sneak up on me every year I have yet to figure out, but it does. Every year it is a scramble to come up with and then execute an idea for a gift.

Of course the key word here is execute. There's where I end up faltering (and subsequently late). I envy those who have there Mother's in the same town with them this time of year. When your mom is 15 minutes, or hell - even an hour away you are golden come Mother's Day. Pick up some flowers, take them to lunch, and Ta - Daa! Well done, offspring! Mission accomplished!

When all of the Mother's in your life live whole states away, the scenario is a bit different. First you go through the "plausible idea phase," figuring out what you can get them that they will both enjoy and appreciate, what's in the budget, and trying to avoid being cliche all at the same time. Then (in my world anyway) since 75% of the Mother's I am thinking about technically "belong" to my Hubby, you have to get at least a modicum of spousal approval. (Read: getting him to focus and nod from his chair...) All set? Right.

Of course by this stage of the game I am already running late. And I hate to be late...

So that's my plan today. To get Mother's Day Squared away. Why I didn't figure this out last week, I'll never know... Sheesh!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Going to the Airport...

Nope, not me. Just the guy in today's Brain Bender... Who writes these questions??


Eddie is driving his car to the airport to pick up his wife. At his current speed, he'll arrive on time. If he drives 5 miles per hour faster, he will arrive 12 minutes early, but if he drives 5 miles an hour slower, he'll arrive 15 minutes late.

How far away is the airport?


And more importantly, what is Eddie's wife going to do when she sees a strange woman's earring on the floor when she gets in, Huh?? That's what I want to know...

Okay, you know how to play. Answers and scenarios will be found in the comments later...

Update: Friend and reader Rich Blank is the winner of the smartypants sticker for this one. He even went above and beyond, providing the mathematical proof for us! Thanks Rich!

Misery loves Company...

...Hell, it appears misery has been waiting for company!


Hubby: "So, Babe... You notice this? It's all going gray - all through here..." indicating his entire beard area.

Me: "Yeah, Babe. I've noticed. Have you seen your temples lately?"

Hubby: "Yeah... I am salt and pepper man these days..."

Me: "That's okay... I like both salt and pepper. And just so you feel better, I found a couple of grays myself the other day...

Hubby: "Really??" ::big smile:: "Well it's about frickin' time, Babe... Way to finally catch up!"

Me: /:^0



Just because...

I saw this over at Bou's place and Rave's and it looked like fun... And you know? This *does* sound like me....

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

United 93

Hubby and I are going to meet up this afternoon and take in a movie. You know, I don't remember a) the last time just he and I went to a movie together or b) the last time we felt this compelled to see a film.

It's going to be intense and sad, I know. But it is also going to be a story of the heroism that can exist in each of us. And not only do I think we need to remember what the passengers of Flight 93 did, we also need to remind our selves of what exactly is at stake. And what we all stand to lose if we do not stand up to those who would like to kill us in the name of allah.

It's going to rain today. Somehow that seems appropriate too...

Update (2:30): The movie was everything I had come to expect it would be. Very Intense. Completely non-political. And extremely well done... I'm glad I went.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Things I am learning....

**Blogging and comments are a LOT of fun, but sometimes it is really, really fun to talk on the phone with some of the bloggers you have come to know... I'm just sayin'...

**I need to set aside some of my Type A-ness and get a chore chart going for my kids. From example and via email I have learned that I am doing it all WRONG... Thanks for the inspiration, Christina! Good grief... I have been missing out!

**If you buy flowers to plant, it will rain the next day earlier than you thought it would. Buy and plant the same day. Duh.

**Spiders hate me and I hate them. 'Nuff said.

**People and situations are always more complicated than they appear. Except my Hubby. He really *is* just that relaxed... Seriously.

Okay, I am off to go see what else I can learn. Here's hoping that none of the lessons are painful...

Math for Monday

Today's brain bender....

Replace each letter below with a digit to make the math correct.


Okay. You know the drill. Answer to be found later in the comments. Happy Monday!

Update: Today's official winner and recipient of the smartypants sticker is VW from One Happy Dog Speaks! Whoohoo!!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

So what would *you* have done???

Today after services I wanted to go and get some pretty flowers. (Don't tell Mother Nature, but I think we have turned the corner with this whole Spring thing....)

The rule up here is that you really should wait until after Mother's Day, but I saw the forecast and it looks like it is going to be gorgeous this week. Rainy a couple of days, but no snow... no freezing temperatures... and I want some flowers, already!

The girls, of course were STARVING so I thought we could grab a quick sandwich and then go fenagle some foliage. We get to the sub sandwich place and it is busy. Two guys behind the counter and like 20 people waiting to be served. Crazy busy. But they are holding their own and doing a good job, so we decided to stay.

Long story short, we get our order and I have to remind the guy about the two chocolate milks I had ordered. He had a brief look of confusion, but gave me the milks and went back to serving customers. The girls and I sat to have lunch.

The look though... that confused look was bugging me. So I rummaged through our bag and found the receipt. Whoops. He had not charged me for the milks. Oh. Well that explains the confused look then...

So we finish our sandwiches and get ready to go.** I had my receipt in hand and the money (exact change) to pay for the milks. Excusing my self to the next person in line, I handed both the money and the receipt to the guy who had originally taken our order.
Me: "Hi. I'm afraid that you neglected to charge me for the milks. Here you go, Thank you...."

Guy: "No worries. You enjoy them." ::trying to give me the money back::

Me: "That's okay. You were busy and all. I want to pay for them..." ::I re-hand him the money.::

Guy: ::firmly smacking the $$ on the counter:: "No, you should not have worried about this!"

Me: "Um, okay... Thanks again. Have a nice day!"
I was surprised. The guy was a tad annoyed with me (and seemed to be the proprietor of said sub-shop). All I wanted to do was pay for what I had ordered. And I must admit, I was not expecting him to be annoyed. I mean, I have run into similar situations before ("Hey miss?? You forgot to include the appetizer we had on the bill...") and have been met with a many shocked responses. From both the people I was with and the people with whom I was doing business.

Am I so different? Isn't honesty the best policy? Or do you just chalk their mistake up to "your good fortune" or whatever, and keep your mouth shut? What would you have done?

No really... I'm curious!

(**note to self: Do not let A. get the meatball sub unless you are willing to live with the fact that she will need to use a whole tree's worth of napkins and make three trips to the washroom. Not to mention what she did to your pants. Good God.)

Saturday, May 06, 2006

I am a soccer Mom and I'm okay....

... I cheer from the bleachers every Sa-tur-day.

Another busy weekend on tap. I have some Tom Sawyeresque chores to do and all of the usual running with the kids. At least the forecast is for sunny skies and mild temperatures. That will help.

So... what's on tap for You this weekend?? Anything fun??

Friday, May 05, 2006

Word of the day....

Oh boy. You know how much I love a good word. And this one is going immediately into my vocabulary.

It has all of the qualities I enjoy in a word: feels good to say, rolls of the tongue well, the meaning is clear and clever at the same time...

Today's special word of the day comes to us again via The Neanderpundit:

splodeydope (n.) : A fucktard person that is convinced that the way to garner support for their cause or get to heaven/paradise and obey Allah is to blow themselves up while taking as many infidels (read: you and me) with them as possible. It is widely known that splodeydopes have small penises.

Example: The splodeydopes keep making the news labeled as "suicide bombers" but I like the term splodeydope better.

Or as Og so eloquently puts it:
In other news, Zack Moussfucktard is taking a long walk to a little concrete box. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. I know a lot fo folks would have liked to have seen him executed, but the fact remains that if he was he'd be a martyr and his name would be a rallying cry to splodeydopes everywhere. [Emphasis mine.]

Ahhhhh yes. There we have an example of a thwarted splodeydope. I'd like to see more of them end up like that.

So there you have it, splodeydope. Word of the day. Let's get it into circulation...

Yay 13!!

Thirteen is my lucky number! And 13 is the sum of all digits in today's Brain Bender...


Find the four-digit number in which the second digit is double the first and the third and fourth digits are the square of the second. The sum of all the digits is 13.


Okay, then. There you go! Happy Cinco de Mayo and happy Friday! The answer (like always) will be found in the comments later...

Update: Once again our winner is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind! ::applause:: Thanks for playin' everybody! ; )

On the *up* side...

I get to have Filet Mignon for lunch with my hubby. Mmmmmm.... steak!


...and I don't want to go. I know, I sound whiny, but too bad. I don't. And surely I am not the *only* one who feels this way...


I know. I'm going...

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Toys?? I love toys!

Only this toy shop owner has issues... Here's Thursday's Brain Bender...

Our local toy store prices its merchandise according to the owner's (wacky) system. A doll costs $.70, a train costs $.80, a drum costs $.70, and a dollhouse costs $1.40. According to this system, how much will a jumping jack cost?
(And who the hell is going to buy a single jumping jack??)


I wonder if he sells iPod's though... Now *that* would be a bargain! As always, answers will be found in the comments later. Have fun!

Update: Today's winner is the lovely and talented jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind!


Not 100% but hey, they (whomever) finally let me get off of the mutant merry-go-round. It was the dizzyness that was really getting to me.

So I'm off... Work, gotta catch up on the housework, swimming lessons AND soccer practice this afternoon, Hubby works late tonight (at least he's well rested...). Just another one of those days where I feel like I just might lap myself. Yay.

So I'm gonna post some funnies. Why? Because I can. Happy Thursday.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Now just hang on a minute....

Something just occured to me...

How come *I'm* the one that's sick and Hubby is the one taking a nap??? Huh?

I'm gonna have to work on that.... Sheesh.

Hey? How come everybody is so tall??

Oh, it's just because I am laying down....

Something has decided to knock me on my ass today. I don't know if I have picked up a bug, something that hates me is polinating, or if feeling like I just got off a mutant merry-go-round while being pummeled in the desert is a result of my blood donation yesterday. (I mean, I did the double platelet donation, but last time I was perfectly fine afterwards...) If this is what anemia feels like, anemia sucks...

Either way, I feel like crap. Like come home early from work and go straight to bed crap. Crappity crap crap.

This is an attempt of my tried and true method of trying to make myself believe (and act) like I feel fine.
"I'm fine... No really, I feel great. Well, okay not great. But I'll be okay..."
I have a ton of stuff to do, and unfortunately (since I have no clone) it's up to me. Sucky but true, that. I figure I'll either feel cured or I got about 2 hours before I crater. We'll see.

Wednesday's Brain Bender

Anybody but me amazed that it is May already?? Holy cow! Anyway, here is the brain bender for May 3...

Find the word that best completes the following sequence.



Okay, you know what to do. The answer will follow in the comments. See you later!

Update: Today's winner is Blue Tige! ::applause::

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Now this dude's in trouble...

The unnamed man in today's Brain Bender, that is. Who the heck writes these things??? Sheesh! Some things we will never know, I guess... Oh well. Here we go!


The names of six people are hidden in the sentence below. Can you find them? (The letters are in consecutive order.)

He altered the tedium of the loud noises by sitting between two open windows.

Okay, let's see if we can help this poor guy out. Maybe we can get him some ear plugs or something...

I'm off to pony up a pint at the Blood Drive at school. (Boy, will *I* be a cheap date tonight!) As always, the answers will be found later in the comments. See you later!

Update: Today's winner of the smartypants sticker is Blue Tige! Whoohoo! : )


It's going to be one of those days...

Did you ever run down to the laundry room to grab a pair of jeans, and while slipping them on have the thought,
"Wow! I am having a really skinny day! Holy Cow!"
Only to suddenly realize that you were wearing your husband's jeans?? Yeah. Me either.


Monday, May 01, 2006


Inspiration, that is. I got nothing.

Plenty to do... Oh yes. But nothing of interest to write. I guess I could hope that something happens this afternoon.

Or not.

I probably just totally jinxed myself....


This one's for you....

Unless of course, you suffer from Aibohphobia. Here is Monday's Brain Bender...

A Palindrome:

Elderly Tigers
S _ _ _ _ _ * _ _ _ _ _ _ S

Here kitty, kitty, kitty.... Oh. Whoops. I mean... HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!!

Okay. Like always, answer to be found in the comments later.

Update: OddyBobo is the official smartypants today! Whoohoo! And she is getting winning all kinds of contests! She must not be *that* tired... ;)