Motherhood

Reading around this week, I have discovered that we mothers are bound together with more than just collective strechmarks and apron strings. The one thing that *every* mother I know has in relative abundance is guilt.

Guilt that we do too much... or not enough... Guilt that we work to hard. Guilt when we only work at home. Guilt when we are comparing ourselves to the "perky, perfect Moms". Guilt when we are not there for every bump and bruise. Guilt when we were there that we didn't prevent injury from happening.

We've all got it, a big slab of guilt, with a side of mashed guilt and some guilt sauce.

From Bou (who I think is one of the best mom's ever...)

But this week has been a real low here and I’ve been struggling as a parent on many fronts. There are people who are just naturally good parents.

Then there are those who would naturally suck at it, but work real hard in the hopes
they will in the end get the ratings of 'decent'.

I fall into the category of those that naturally suck. But I try. I try hard and with all my failings as a parent, that are so evident to me at the end of every day, I hope that in the end they remember I tried.

She found her redemption in a poem read by her son. (And I'm not buyin' that she sucks. Even if she feels that she does.)

And then I read Christina's "Confessions of a Self Absorbed Parent." Personally, I think she is doing a wonderful job raising her kids to be self sufficient, productive members of society. I don't understand her feelings that as a Mother she has been self absorbed. She seems like she has been doing a pretty great job in my book...

And sometimes we mothers turn on eachother (which in my mind is just asanine.) The Stay at Home Moms who think they are better than the Working Mothers and vice versa.

From Trouble: (Who is sick and tired of the "Mommy Wars" )

...working wasn't an option, it was a necessity. It has always been that way, for me. I didn't get to choose. After my six weeks of maternity leave, while crying many, many tears, I sucked it up and went back to work because I had to. My mom, a SAHM forever, gave me the best verbal ass-kicking of my life about it, and that helped a lot: "Being a mom means doing what you have to do to take care of your kids, whatever that is, and not complaining about it." That's an ass-kicking we could all take to heart, whether we work or stay at home.

And that's just it. We do what we must. Even when it feels like we suck at this whole Motherhood thing. And sometimes God sends us an angel to let us know that we really are doing okay. And that we need not feel guilty. That we are doing a good job.

From Rave:

The young woman rolled down her window.

“Miss?”

“Yes?” Another deep breath, I want to collapse, to go home and put the kids down for a nap.

“We just wanted to let you know that we think you are doing a wonderful job with your kids.”

That’s it. I lost it. Full out waterfalls from my eyes. “Thank you.” I choked out. And they drove off. I do not know who they were, but right then they were the voice of angels.

Simple words from strangers. And it made the rest of my day bearable.

I think Rave has the best definition/description of motherhood out there. As she wrote...

Being a mom doesn’t mean having rainbows and butterflies everyday. It means rainbows and butterflies and permanent marker on your walls and gum on your shoes. It means trudging along, following your heart and hoping you are doing the right thing. And maybe, just maybe, when your kids grow up they won’t need therapy, and will thank you for all the paper towels you gave them so they could clean up their own messes.

Happy Mother's Day y'all. Here's hoping that none of us runs out of paper towels.