My occasionally snarky thoughts on everything from motherhood, politics, life and current events. Cocktails are sometimes mandatory. Bottoms up!

Saturday, July 30, 2005


........just what I needed

It's Saturday!! Yay Saturday!! And the weather promises to be beautiful to boot! And I don't have to drive anywhere! Yay! We have some projects to work on -- the girls pool went "pond" while we were gone to Wyoming so hubby had gone off insearch of many pool chemicals. Hopefully we can successfully poison that ecosystem! Green water is yucky!

Some friends are coming over later so I think we are going to grill a steak and kick it back a little. I have read that there is going to be a blog crawl tonight -- I may have to drop by a few spots and see what's up. (I am still rather shy about commenting, but hey! Wine and comments -- surely I can manage a few of each......) Anyway, I hope that your Saturday is great too! TTFN!

I just love this headline

...and they got the description right too

Free Image Hosting at More of this please!!!

Friday, July 29, 2005

A war of my own

......and I thought the stump jihad was bad
Free Image Hosting at
Fruit Flies. Icky annoying fruit flies have been the bane of my existence since we got home. Fly strips hung everywhere, all fruit either quarantined or thrown away, and all of us looking like we have some form of clapping turrets syndrome. Not good.

I have been up to my eyeballs and asking everyone for advice. Someone suggested little traps with just a snick of sugar water in them -- I think that just made the little bastards happy. Hubby wanted to nuke the kitchen with bug killer -- tempting, but I would rather not poison us all in the process of ridding the house of the effin' things.

Nothing so far has worked worth a damn until now.... I have found a solution inspired in part by my Nonny's war with mothmillers. I have found the one thing guaranteed to rid your home of the little sumbitches. **THE VACUUM CLEANER** You can actually vacuum the little suckers up! And it kills them! YAY!!!! Just wave the little hose attachment thingy near where they are flying and POOF -- gone. I cannot tell you how very happy this makes me....... :D Once again I can have a fruitful house (minus the smacks and curses).

Thursday, July 28, 2005

So do I look fat?


I read this post today by Oscar Madison at Manifesto and it is laugh out loud funny....

Why wait around unprepared only to be caught like a deer in the headlights when it finally comes up:

♀: Do I look fat?
♂: No, not at all.
♀: I’ve gained weight though, haven’t I?
♂: Uh... since when?
♀: Oh, so I have gained weight since you first met me.
♂: Well, I don’t...
♀: What you’re saying is, I do look fat.
♂: No!
♀: Well, you just said I’ve gained weight.
♂: But you don’t look fat!
♀: I’ve gained weight, “but I don’t look fat.” Lovely.
♂: I didn’t say that.
♀: So I do look fat!
♂: ....?....!
♀: If you think I look fat, why don’t you just come out and say so?

Of course, no wife or girlfriend wants to be told she looks fat. Quite the contrary! Yet it seems as though she is programmed to conduct razorlike, determined cross examinations that will not end until she has broken the man's will and extracted a "confession."

Listen up, all you ♂s. You can avoid all these problems whenever you sense you have gotten within a mile of the "do I look fat?" line of questions, by following three simple rules:

If you want to know the 3 rules you have to go read the whole thing! Go read! Hahahahhaha!


Vacation Recovery


I have a bad case of the "don't wannas" -- don't wanna do housework, don't wanna clean out the garage/little house and prep for the garage sale, don't wanna finish painting the fence, don't wanna paint the back hallway, don't wanna do any laundry or iron, don't wanna cook. Just don't wanna! *sigh* And that's bad because there are a bunch of things that need done!

I am hoping to break out of the don't wannas by tomorrow -- today HAS to be my last day of laziness! That, and we have invited people for dinner Saturday -- nothing like forcing yourself out of don't wanna mode by inviting people to your house. At least I hope that will do the trick.....

Gone to the dogs.........

...puppy sitting is NOT for the faint of heart

We are puppy sitting for the weekend. A bouncy, bouncy, very vocal 7m.o. husky pup named Tika. She is hilarious and a runner (think the dog in that Chevy Chase movie Funny Farm) so the weekend should prove to be interesting. My dogs, who are 11 and 9, think she is the spawn of satan though. All Taylor does is slink around and growl at the poor little thing while she bounces all around making rooo-rooo noises and grovels -- begging T. to play with her. Buddy is only interested in her food....

We are also doggie sitting Tika's big brother Duke who I am convinced is part bull dozer. I am not sure how we are going to exercise him as his usual daily romp consists of chasing our neighbor around the 'hood on his four wheeler. (I think Duke thinks it is his mother -- a loud and speedy mother, but mother nonetheless). Duke is actually a Chesapeake Bay Retriever (the size of a small pony) which is fun 'cuz occasionally he brings you stuff -- like small children and basketballs.

So we have doubled our dogage for a few days -- man, I hope I remain alpha!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

$%^^!&^%% Fruit Flies

.........*smack*...#%!^%^&.......*smack*......... Effin' fruit flies

Does anyone have a sure fire way to rid a kitchen of fruit flies?? Go figure, I am gone for a while and one mutinous lemon has me flapping my arms and clapping trying to kill fruit flies 24/7 in my kitchen. I have hung fly strips (ooooooh, now that's attractive....) and have pitched/quarantined the fruit but the little motherf*ckers are driving me nuts! Any solutions?

Well Duh!

I am 11% Hippie.
So Not a Hippie.
What? Am I a Republican? Why did I even bother taken this test?! I guess I’ll back to my George W. Bush fan club and tell them I just wasted 10 minutes of my life. At least I don’t stink, man.

You think? And what the hell is patchouli, anyway...........

H/T Harvey of Bad Example

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Bloggers for Books

...what could be bettter?

Surfing around I found that Army Wife Toddler Mom had a great idea about how to donate our gently used books for a great cause!

I have been in contact with Chris, a librarian at Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. The need for books is great there. There is no library and no bookstore, and a population of approximately 40,000. I think the closest place to "really shop" might be Rapid City South Dakota.

I have decided to post just 2 of them for now. If you have further inquiries contact me, or go to
Friends of Pine Ridge, and inquire there.Childrens Village is a foster care home that can use kids books appropriate for toddlers through teens.

Ship to:
Children's Village, Inc.
100 Main Street Box 1034 Pine Ridge, SD 57770

Wounded Knee Community Center can use book donations of any type for distribution to the general public adults and children. Novels, nonfiction, kids
books, etc Are all welcome.

Ship to:
Wounded Knee Community Center
P. O. Box 48
Wounded Knee, SD 57794

I certainly hope you find the time to go through those boxes of books. I know it will certainly take me a while. Also do not forget When mailing ask post office for MEDIA RATE!! It is less expensive than regular postage, although I am guessing, you all know that as well.Pass this on, and leave a comment, let me know if you participate. I want to know how many books are being donated. I plan on sending at least 25. My goal for "bloggers" was 300, but I think we can beat that. Would you mind labeling boxes that you send "Bloggers for Books"? Join me in getting good books to good people!!Thanks.


So great! I've got a box or two that I can send.... how about you?? Thanks A.W.T.M!!!

1,206 Miles and we're home!

.....thank God for cruise control

We're home and thrilled about it. The girls and I have had to hit the ground running unfortunately. And I have so much I want to post about -- Harry Potter 6, Yellowstone, swimming lessons, the Orthodontist, the Space Shuttle......... Jeez! Anyway, hopefully I will catch up with and jump aboard the train that is my life and regular posting will resume soon. Now to go and finish unpacking... And wine.... A glass of wine would be nice.....

Saturday, July 23, 2005


...I got your Yellowstone right here....

Bison and Elk and Deer, oh my! Coyote, geysers and tourists too! We had a wonderful time and got to see bits of everything that Yellowstone has to offer.

Now, though, we are back on the road headed for Wisconsin so this post will have to wait. Blogging will resume on Monday. :-)

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Powell, Wyoming

....flashback central

So is it just me or does everyone suffer from flashbacks returning to their hometowns?? I swear, as soon as I roll in I feel like I am 17 again and past my curfew. The town itself remains remarkably unchanged with the exception of the addition of several new churches and car washes. Apparently it is now infinitely more important to keep your soul and vehicle clean than it was when I lived here. I have yet to see a combination carwash/church -- though I am sure one is coming.

As I read the newspaper yesterday a large ad described the new event at the county fair -- Rooster Ropin'. I shit you not... Naturally, they plan to have the event set up in the beer garden. *sigh* Poor efffin' roosters. So on July 26th if you are lucky enough to be attending the Park County Fair, you too can rope some roosters (and drink beer). As the ad description goes:
"Rooster Roping is an up and coming sport based on team roping. It is intended to be fun and competitive."
As opposed to being stupid and cruel, I guess. And how in the F#@! do you "team rope" a rooster?? Without quartering the damn thing or breaking its neck? Good God. At least there will be beer though....

Update: Just for the hell of it I googled Rooster Roping to see what came up. You can read more here and here they have pictures! I'm going to go have a beer now............

Uncle Ben Update 7/20

......cancer sucks

I had a great long weekend with Uncle Ben. He is doing better than I had anticipated and though he has lost a great deal of weight his mobility is good. My Brother flew in from Phoenix. The good news is that he and Uncle Ben had some time together. And then Bro went back to Phoenix.....

Still, for all of the positives I can illustrate, Ben is very sick. He is having a hard time being alone and the weight loss is worrisome. He has asked me to return and stay with/care for him sooner than later. This is one of the times that I wish my girls were 5 years older. It would make it easier to just *go* and not worry. At 7 and almost 9 they are simply too young to be latch-key kids. At any rate, I will have to figure something out.

We met with the oncologist on Monday. He seems to be a very capable doctor and is heartened but the reduction in Ben's pain. We will know more by the end of August when they do the next round of testing. My father couldn't resist telling the doc that I too was a cancer survivor (attempting to explain my raspy voice) so I had to roll out snarky remarks #238 - 242 (i.e. "Yeah, but my husband responds well to whistle commands...") just to get the focus off and make everybody laugh a little. I don't know what he wanted to accomplish by bringing it up -- maybe to illustrate that people in our family have survived the disease before so surely Ben can? Or maybe he wanted to prompt me into making a joke. Either way, it felt a little weird. Ben has been asking me a lot about my feelings/attitude about cancer trying to get a handle on his own, I think. For all of the positive things that *can* come out of fighting a battle such as this, I think I have made my position clear. Cancer sucks.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Live from Wyoming

......let the fun begin! ...erm... I mean, continue...

So, we made it. Safe and sound so to speak. The girls were soooooooo happy to get out of the car! Grandparents were relieved and are ready to begin the "showing off" portion of their summer.

We didn't do any sightseeing on the way but I have been assured that the Corn Palace is worth a look see on our way home. I think we will skip the Spam Museum though........

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Hitting the Road

...fortunately not in a forced evacuation
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usWatching the weather unfold down South I am *very* glad to be headed West! The kids and dogs and I are off on a road trip to Wyoming. (Hubby, darn it all, has to work which is a bummer. New Company = limited vacation time. Oh well.) I will be glad to spend some time in the mountains -- it has been two years since I have been anywhere near the Rockies....

My hometown (where my folks still live) is not that far from Yellowstone National Park so I hope to take the girls on a day trip through "The Park" as it's called around there. You know, see Old Faithful and maybe dink around Yellowstone Lake. Take a picture of a buffalo and maybe see some elk. Take them to the Buffalo Bill Historical Center and have lunch at the Irma Hotel. Cody, Wyo. has all kinds of fun touristy western stuff to do that the kids will enjoy. I hope they still do anyway. Western kitch can be pretty cool when you're 7 and 8. Of course, I am anticipating *this* conversation:

K: So Mommy? What's gonna happen?
Me: Well, once the geyser has built up sufficient pressure it is going to erupt and blow hot water and steam waaay up high into the air.
K: Hmmmm kay. When?
Me: In about 9 more minutes.....
**fidgiting and scuffing around in the dirt**
A: What are we waiting for again?
Me: Well sweetie, like I just explained to your sister the geyser is going to erupt and blow a whole bunch of hot water and steam way high into the air! It will be cool!
A: What does "erupt" mean?
Me: Um, erupt means to blow stuff way up high in the air. Like I said! You'll see. Only 8 more minutes to go now.
A: I have to go to the bathroom......
Me: I am sure you can hold it -- we only have about 7 minutes to wait.
K: Can I have ice cream?
Me: No, not right now. Maybe after Old Faithful goes off..... (looking at watch)
A: I want ice cream too. Do you think they will have dippin' dots here? I want mint chocolate dippin' dots!
Me: We will have so see about ice cream after we see Old Faithful.
A: Mommy I really have to go!
K: Yeah, I have to go to the bathroom too........ I think it's an emergency!
Me: *sigh* Oh, all right. Let's go. We'll come back for the next eruption..........
K&A: Mommy? Can we have ice cream while we wait????

Hopefully I'll get lucky................

Speaking of the girls, my mother is just dying to "show them off" -- I hope the experience won't scar or spoil them too much.

I am going to get to spend a weekend (sans kids) with Uncle Ben. Things should work out pretty well with his treatment schedule and it will be great to spend some time with him. My brother is flying in from Phoenix to join us too so as long as the 'to and from' the airport logistics hold together a good time should be had. One can hope anyway.

I am hoping to be able to post about our adventures as we have them but nothing is certain. I am unsure what kind of computer/internet access I will have so we'll see. If nothing else I hope to take some good pictures to share later. So One For the Road is hittin' the road. Wish me luck!


Good luck, everyone. We'll be keeping our fingers crossed for you!

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Showing Support for Britain

....may God be with them

Following the suggestion of FRW -- I too will throw in with a picture of the Brittish flag declaring my support of the people of England this tragic day.
Free Image Hosting at Whatever they do, it is our determination that they will never succeed in destroying what we hold dear in this country and in other civilised nations throughout the world," the Prime Minister [Tony Blair] said.
Free Image Hosting at Amen to that.

Bombing in London much for the slow news cycle

Image Hosted by
My thoughts and prayers go out to the people of London today with the terrible events still unfolding. So many people killed and wounded, my heart weeps for them and their families. It was striking to see Tony Blair speak this morning backed by all of the leaders there for the G8 Summit.
Blair, backed by all the leaders of the G8 industrialized nations and guest countries including China and India, vowed the summit would continue regardless and said he would return to the gathering at the Gleneagles hotel in the evening.

America will stand with you. I hope that the resolve and solidarity conveyed in that image Of Tony Blair and so many world leaders carries Londoners through in the coming days, weeks and months and sends a message to those who wish us harm. The message that through all we will stand together in the face of terrorism.

I also hope that the cowards that organized these attacks are hunted down and sent off to Allah as is their fervent desire. Bastards.

Update: Naturally, Glenn Reynolds has a comprehensive roundup of links.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

A New to Me Blogger.....

.....pretty cool IMO

So as I surfed around this afternoon (aka avoiding housework) I came across a 'new to me' blog that deserves a Heh. Indeed. *and* Read the whole thing... You should go check out the really different and really well written Clublife. A sample:

Dear Neophyte Bouncer,
It is not good to choke people. You can get in big trouble. Do not attempt to choke people on the job unless you have a minimum of three years training in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, or some other martial art that utilizes submission holds, so you know when to stop before your victim gets seriously hurt.

What's it all about? Saving face? Not backing down? Don't wanna be nobody's bitch? Is it really that hard for you to take an order? To follow a directive? To not break the law? I suppose I could have talked you out of it myself easily enough, had Vito not involved himself. Shit, that's what they're paying me for, right? And what set you off was the fact that the second person involved in the problem wasn't a bouncer. He was a customer. An equal, or so you thought. We both know that's not how it is, though, don't we? You're not equals here. There are people in this life that simply aren't to be fucked with, and you fucked with one of them, and you knew it. You preyed upon everyone's good nature. Mine, because you knew I'd do my fucking job and make sure nothing happened to you. And Vito's, because you knew you weren't gonna get whacked in the middle of the VIP room.

This is New York City. The major leagues. You never, ever know whom you're fucking with here. Ever. That's why people get murdered. Because they wake up in the morning and think they're wearing a suit of armor, and they've got nothing to back up that feeling -- nothing -- but they roll with it anyway and find out, the only way they can, that they were wrong. They cross the street without looking, trusting me to stop the car. You only get killed once, and if you've never been killed, maybe it's not as real to you as it should be. People kill here. Every day. Doesn't make it right, but you see the same kind of shit, over and over again, and you know damned well why.
"I can't accept this ID. It's expired."
"But it's my ID!"
"Oh, in that case, come right in!"

Are you fucking stupid? I didn't mean that. Sarcasm and facetiousness are evidently lost in translation at the front door of nightclubs. No, an expired driver's license isn't going to get you admitted. I couldn't give a flying fuck if it's "really you," or if your "wallet was stolen yesterday." Rules are rules, and we've all got to abide by them. Even you, dear Guido. Honestly, do you think I really care whether you get in or not? If it were up to me, you could all just come right the fuck in, burn the place to the ground, strangle all the bartenders and steal their cash, and then go home. You think I have an emotional investment in the place? Please.

Written by a self described bouncer at two of New York's most popular nightclubs his insight and stories are unique and like nothing I have read around the blogosphere. Check him out -- but plan to stay for a while! :-)

Quiz fun

...because otherwise I would have to post about what I think we should do with #%$*$#% child molesters -- and I am just too sickened and pissed off to do it.....

You Are 77% American
You're as American as red meat and shooting ranges.
Tough and independent, you think big.
You love everything about the US, wrong or right.
And anyone who criticizes your home better not do it in front of you!

Admittedly I am a little disappointed with a 77% -- Jeez a C???
But I am a proud American none the less! I'll just have to work on getting my grade up....
You Are Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
You are kind, popular, and generous.
You tend to be successful at anything you try.
A social butterfly, you are great at entertaining a crowd.
You are most compatible with strawberry ice cream.
Yay ice cream!!

Wednesday Funnies

...'cuz we could all use a little more funny

Corporate Lesson One:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your share holders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

And while the following isn't as funny as Harvey's (of Bad Example)
Fun Facts About the 50 States... a couple earned a giggle from me!

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat.
Arkansas : Literacy Ain't Everything.
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado : If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut : Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids.
Georgia: We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois: Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana : We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
Michigan: First Line Of Defense >From The Canadians
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitos
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri : Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, and Right-Wing Crazies
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada : Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico : Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right
To An Attorney...
North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota : We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma: Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Edyoocashun State
Texas: Se Hablo Ingles
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: Ay, Yep
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix!
Washington: We Have More Rain Than You Do
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese!
Wyoming: Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared

Saturday, July 02, 2005

It's Gonna Be Hot

...might as well have a party (or 2)

Happy Fourth of July!!!! Yay Independence Day!!!!

As you know, the Fourth of July weekend is coming up and as the 4th is one of my all time favorite holidays we have a party (this year 2) to celebrate our nation's independence. I just love having a bunch of people over to hang out, eat lots of yummy picnic food and enjoy summer sun. There are few happier sounds than that of a bunch of giggling kids playing in a pool and later there will be fireworks. Many many fireworks. :-)

I will also take some time this weekend to think about our men and women in uniform that are not able to be with their families this holiday. Via SMASH here is a list of ways to show your s support for the troops at America Supports You. Even just sending a quick email....... could make a difference to one of our soldiers.

Anyway, I hope that you have a safe and fun holiday weekend!!