My occasionally snarky thoughts on everything from motherhood, politics, life and current events. Cocktails are sometimes mandatory. Bottoms up!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


The 8 Things meme, stolen from Pamibe. Why not?!

8 things I am looking forward to…

1. School letting out for the summer.
2. Sporta getting over this wretched cough she has...
3. Humming birds arriving to entertain me on the patio.
4. The next Harry Potter movie hitting theaters! July 15th! Whoo!
5. Finishing the @%^@% church newsletter (again).
6. Payday!
7. The new Lee Childs book arriving in May!
8. Getting rid of this headache.

8 things I did yesterday…

1. Went to Home Depot and bought some flowers for the patio.
2. Had a migraine.
3. Went out to lunch with WxMan and beat him 4 to 3 playing buzztime trivia! With half my brain tied behind my back no less!!
4. Dishes.
5. Put clean sheets on my bed.
6. Worked on the @%#$@%$ newsletter.
7. Read a book - The Key To Midnight - it was good!
8. Talked to my Mom.

8 things I wish I could do…

1. Become invisible.
2. Fly. Wait - I hate to fly... Uh... Teleport!
3. Sing :)
4. Write really well - as much as I love to read I wish I had the talent to craft such wonderful stories...
5. Win the lottery.
6. Cure cancer.
7. I thought about the government here a LOT and couldn't come up with one wish... Things are FUBAR.
8. Have more fun - remember how to play.

8 shows I watch…

1. Diners, Drive Ins and Dives
2. American Idol - (I forgot to last night though...)
3. Mythbusters
4. Fox News
5. Grey's Anatomy (but I haven't in a while - it's gotten stupid...)
To be honest, I rarely sit down and watch TV. I often have the TV on for background noise - usually on the news or a movie that I like to listen to. But I am not a "sit and watch TV" person...

But I did enjoy this back in the day...

Just because it makes me happy.

Monday, April 27, 2009

How you can tell if your wife has been cooking a LOT...

(A conversation by text message... The new normal.)

Me: So - you want breakfast??

WxMan: Yep

Me: Well, what sounds good to you?

WxMan: Dunno - what are my choices?

Me: Sky's the limit - you are going to be driving right past the store! Or there is IHOP or perkins. Otherwise i have eggs and hot dogs...

WxMan: mmmm... eggs and hotdogsss. haha. we can go out.

He's a smart one, eh? And I am oh so subtle... Heh.

But in my defense, I cooked dinner for 70 last night! I am tired... And I don't want eggs and hot dogs either. :^p

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Just because I liked this....

'Nuff said...

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My thoughts on Earth Day

Are really best summed up here... (Not really safe for work - shocker I know. Because it's Carlin fergottssake.)

I miss George Carlin. I do... I threw away some plastic bags today in his honor. I hope the "Big Electron" is treating him well...

Monday, April 20, 2009

What do you mean God didn't invent blow dryers??

As you all know - we are merging onto the hormone super highway around here... This is going to be a big ball of fun - I can tell already. The eye rolls are an indicator, I suspect.

Take the other day - Sporta was complaining about her new (and I think totally cute) haircut.

"Moooooom - I hate my hair cut! It dries funny so one side flips under and the other side flips up! It looks stupid!"

"Well, just go use my blow dryer next time you get out of the bath and dry it the way you want... That's why God invented blow dryers - to save us from stupid hair."

Sporta just looked at me.

"Jeez Mom - God did NOT invent blow dryers. He's GOD! He's got more important things to do!"

"Yeah well - think of all of the women He was hearing from on a daily basis - 'Oh God, what can I do with my stupid hair!!' or 'God help me, I have a date tonight! And my hair!!' He probably got soooo sick of hearing those prayers he purposefully tapped some other guy to invent the blow dryer. Six of one - half a dozen of the other if you ask me..."

Rendered Sporta speechless, it did - and these days that's saying something...

You 'spoze eye rolling on that scale can cause any permanent damage?? Or do the hormones kick in and save the day?? It might be interesting to test the theory if nothing else... Heh.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Well, it's not like swimming in Belize...

But c'mon - that was Belize!

We still managed to have some fun at the local aquatic center over Spring Break.

Sporta is a master at R&R...

And hey - even *I* tried the slide. :) You just will never see a picture...

To say the girls are disappointed that Spring Break is sliding to a close is an understatement. But hey - summer is right around the corner!! Right??

(Yeah - they're not buyin' it either... But I am tryin'!)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

A Lynx, huh?

Swiped from Teresa...

You Are a Lynx

You are a quiet observer of the world around you. Your wisdom comes from listening carefully.
You've always been extra sensitive and aware. And it's made it difficult for you to fit in.

You see past people's outward personas. You are able to penetrate a stranger's soul.

What you've learned about people is both beautiful and ugly. And you keep these secrets to yourself.

Actually, that sounds about right... My gut instincts about people rarely mislead me - And I like having that sixth sense about folks. It has saved me a great deal of time and trouble over the years and more than a little heartache...

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Be careful what you wish for...

So for Easter Sunday, both Sporta (11) and Computa (12) decided that egg hunts were for "little kids" and they didn't really want one. (Just between you and me, I really hope they change their minds for next year. I love to hide and hunt eggs...) However, they *did* want to have a basket hunt!

Well, alrighty then - that's something at least!

Sporta has taken on a very "know-it-all" attitude of late and feels that it is her job to instruct everyone on just abut everything. Basket hiding techniques included.... As if I got my bunny ears yesterday... Huh.

So, she is all over me - "Mooooom - now make sure that you hide them really really HARD. We are not little lids any more! You can't just put them up high and have them be in plain sight! This need to be HARD or it wont be any fun!!"

"Yeah - I got it..."

"Seriously Mom, make sure! Remember - it has to be HARD!"

"Hard. Got it."

So I sent the girls away to go do whatever in the basement while I took my time (5 minutes tops) hiding the baskets and went back to making Easter dinner. Thirty minutes later I hear a tentative - "Mom?? Are you ready?? Did you have enough time to hide it HARD??"

"Yeah - I think I managed okay. Go for it..."

So with that - the girls were off! Sporta looking in some pretty inane spots - these baskets are not tiny after all - and Computa mostly unconcerned, letting her nose lead the way. Five minutes in to the deal, success!!

Computa: "I found mine! Whoohoo!! I almost didn't see it!!"

Sporta: "What?? It was in that closet?? I already looked there and didn't see anything!!"

Computa: "Yeah - Mom hid them HARD, remember?? You have to really look!!"

And off she went to examine the contents of her basket...

Two minutes later a visibly disgruntled Sporta was begging for clues. "You hid my basket too HARD!" She whined. To which I replied - "Be careful whet you wish for, it's in the house. Good luck." (Inside, of course, I was cackling maniacally...)

More stomping around - some half hearted attempts, many envious looks at her sister, Sporta finally gave in to her pride and begged Computa for some help... Computa sighed - and tired of her sister's endless pleading went to go help her look. Five minutes later she was back down stairs, a smug smile on her lips.

"I found her basket..." she said. "And I am not going to tell her where it is..."


"Good." I replied. "She wanted this to be hard..."

Computa gave me a grand eye roll. "Jeez Mom - *I* found it. It wasn't THAT hard!"

And Sporta *did* find her basket eventually. And said later that it wasn't all that hard...

Well alrighty then. Looks like I better have my bunny skills sharper for next year, eh?

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Just for fun...

These gave me a giggle today.

Hope the Easter Bunny is good to all you peeps. ;)

Wednesday, April 08, 2009


I saw the picture of this little guy and my first thought was...
"I can soooooo relate to that."
Somehow I don't think that's a good sign.

Monday, April 06, 2009

I am determined...

That *this* is going to be a better week. I have decided and so it shall be so. That's it.

So to get things rolling in that direction - check out my spoils from the whatever the heck I can't remember Book Sale that I got drug to went to weekend before last....

(click to embiggen)
Some of the books I have read before, and just wanted them back in my library. Some are by authors that I like or have been recommended to me over the years. And some just caught my eye! So I need to thank the illustrious TNT for making me suggesting I go - she was absolutely right! And I got to spend a little time with Mr. Bad Example too - always a bonus.

In other news, I received my copy of this book the other day...

It has been recommended to me by everybody and their brother and it is high time I read it, I think. Though I realize that it wont be nearly as fun of a read as say - Twilight. (Don't judge me - I like crap like that.)

So in my mind, this is all good news! I have plenty of newish books to keep me entertained and zero time to read them!

Oh wait - that's not such good news... Hmmm... I might have to shake the bugs outta this new plan of mine.

Happy Monday!

Thursday, April 02, 2009

And the Monday just keeps on rolling...

Good gray grief. What the hell did I do??

This week is ever so thankfully winding it's way down... I swear - it's been freeking Monday in every sense of the word Monday... Enough to make you start looking over our shoulder to as too see what's coming up next!

The good news?? The @#$%#$%#^ church newsletter got done. (And we all know how much I enjoy putting them together...) The bad news?? Along with the newsletter I have to get all of the worship booklets for Holy Week done. So all told - I figure that's about 12 hours of my life I will never get back. Do you think it would be *wrong* to pray for the Big Guy to make the copier work faster??

In other news, at Sporta's school they are studying Health and Human Development this week. You remember the drill - they separate the boys and the girls and everybody gets the 411 on basic puberty (usually with an embarrasing movie). Those lessons always makes for some discomfort and general teasing amongst the kids but one little boy shit has taken things to a whole 'nuther level. "Hey Sporta!" He likes to shout out (on the playground no less), "Why don't you come give me a Blow Job?!?"

Good gray grief. To say that I was horrified when I learned of this behavior doesn't even come close. And the story was confirmed by Sporta's best buddy in the neighborhood and study partner Conan. The good news is that the kid that been doing the shout outs on the playground lives here in the neighborhood too. So I am going to be having a chat with his Mom about this in the not too distant future - I can guarangottdamntee that. In fact, after a chat with Conan's Mom about the situation (she lives next door to the little shit lewd kid and actually *knows* his Mom).
I expect a call later today.


WxMan has been down in the back - but he is *finally* going to go see a chiropractor today so maybe his mood will improve. I certainly hope so...

And me? Thursday is my day to clean house. This post is my reward for scubbing toilets. I feel so special.

Okay - back into the fray for me. Here's hoping that your Thursday is Monday free!