I grew up in North Central Wyoming and have lived all over the lower 48 states. I am now the mother of two teenage girls - remaking my life at 40. Should be interesting!
Have been further considering beginning a new blog. And today I stopped over at Roses place for the first time in a very very long while.
And laughed. Hard.
And learned things about what was going on in her life.
And I got a little thoughtful....
I miss that part of my life. I miss reading and sharing and writing... Taking the funny, or the frustrating, the ridiculous and the mundane and just... Well.... Blogging it.
It used to be fun. And fulfilling. And with all that's going on there is bound to be some gooftacular crap for me to write about.
Amongst a few other areas of my life that are *definitely* in the process of being remade.
Some while ago - I was incredibly frustrated with the state of Echo comments. They were great while they were still Haloscan. But Echo?? Echo sucked. Sucked! Anyhoo - I was just sick to death of trying to fix and deal with them. And for a while OFTR was completely FUBAR. So what did *I* do?? I went to the Blogfather himself and asked begged for assistance.
It was determined that I could get blogger comments here - but Echo/Haloscan comments would be forever lost. Frustrated as I was - I waved my hand and said "Oh to hell with it - dump 'em...." Oops. Damn...
Now months and months later I have regrets about that.... I have documented a little over 6 years of my life here - and there have been some great ups and a few downs. And the comments?? The comments made it for me... **sigh** Oh well. if I had been smart, I would have just closed up shop here - and opened new digs elsewhere as othermuch smarter peeps have done. Anyhoo - as they say, hindsight is 20/20.
The good news, I suppose, is that the posts and the pics remain. Though I must admit, when I delve into the archives looking for a story, or a recipe, or a time line of events it just makes me sad... (Oh great - getting teary now.... I really need to install a cut off switch for that! ) Just one more reason I think to pull up stakes and begin anew elsewhere.
Anyway - what say you? Thoughts?? I have a couple of name ideas kicking around in my noodle too but am always open for suggestions. And I am ready to be done mourning all that has ended. And start celebrating some new beginnings! Enough all ready.
So here ya go - one for the road.... ::pours:: Let's get truckin' shall we??
To be honest, this is a pretty accurate description of what my last couple of weeks have been like. Seemingly benign right up the Zombie takes my brain....
I may have to just give in and watch Zombieland - hone my mad Zombie killing/survival skillz. Apparently I need some! Have any tips for me??
And right this second you know what I have found to celebrate? The sun is shining today. And I still have peanut M&Ms in my desk drawer. And Ella Fitzgerald is singing. All of these things work for me...
I would love to have something incredibly funny or profound to post, but I do not. And you know? Given the shit storm that has blown through over the past few months, I am really okay with that. Time to refocus and prepare for the rest of the ride, day, millennium... Whatever.
It is what it is...
So today I will focus on the sunshine. And on the chocolate. And on Ella Fitzgerald.
And I know that this feeling?? The gray moments? They shall pass... By in large I keep an excellent poker face in place. Fortified by M&Ms when necessary... ;)
And doing some bloggy housekeeping that has sooooooo needed to be done.
For. Ever.
When blogrolling lost it's everlovin' mind some time ago - I just ignored it and hoped that it would correct itself (effective, I know) and then it went all viral. So I shrugged and just dumped the whole damn thing. I figured I would eventually take the time and just re code the blogs and bloggers that I *do* keep up with (or would like to) back into the side bar....
Yeah - it's been like a year. Have done bupkus... And I am missing some really great people that *used* to be on my side bar...
So I am going to work on that today. Maybe get off of Face Book (a little)... And see if I cannot rebuild a little teeny corner of myself again...
I turned 40, put the house on the market, increased my workload, and have been trying to get into the holiday spirit.
That last one?? That's been a killer.... But I am trying - for sure...
I am certainly ready to kick the door shut on 2010. I just need some Christmas cheer to get me to that point... If it came in pill form I would soooooo take two, and call you in 2011.
But all in all it hasn't been as bad as it could have been... At least that's what I keep reminding myself... And I have still able to laugh at damn near all of it. Thank gawd...
The pics were taken at my Brother's house in Phoenix on my birthday. I had a wonderful long weekend and the sunshine was good for the soul... So good that the girls and I are joining my mother and we will all celebrate Christmas together there... I am pretty sure that I will find my spirit in Phoenix as well... Right next to the saguaro... :)
I took these pictures yesterday as I left the office... The spider infestation there is terrifying! Goodness! And we all know how much I enjoy spiders...::shudder::
Needless to say, I am not walking anywhere near the shrubbery, signs, posts, columns, or anything else in that lot. Good grief! I saw one the other day that you could have put a freeking leash on!
In other news, in keeping with the Halloween feel of the day I have once again added to my scar collection. Lovely.
The doc noticed a little somethin' somethin' on my right leg during my annual "check the oil and kick the tires" physical last week.
"How long have you had this here?" He asked.
"Oh.... A little over a year or so..." I shrugged. "It didn't seem to fit any of the criteria to be concerned about so I haven't really been worried about it."
"Well, all in all given your history I think we should go ahead and get it removed for biopsy."
Again - lovely. Biopsy is (for obvious reasons) is *not* one of my favorite words to hear.
And really - it's getting to the point that I think I should start naming my scars. Don't you think? Ha! The external ones anyway...
And this song seems appropriate for today... Have been enjoying it of late... Erase My Scars Love Evans Blue. I have been listening to a lot of Octane of late... Can you tell? ;-)
Oh well hell - it's just another scar... And as Pop would say "Shit Rich, it's a long way from your heart... You'll live..." lol
And you know what?? It's time... To start delving into doing the things I well and truly enjoy. To *make* time for the things that give me pleasure. To stop simply muddling though...
Last night Sporta and I watched a movie - In theLand of Women. And while for me it may not have been the best choice (seriously - should have read a plot summary or something - lesson learned), it was nice to just relax and enjoy the eye candy that is Adrian Brody. Very nice. :)
I have the new Janet Evanovich book to read. There is bound to be some good laughter to be had there, right? And a good friend of mine hooked me up with Tales of the City. Cannot wait...
This weekend I am catering a birthday dinner for a 97 year old beloved grandmother. And no - prunes are not on the menu. lol I will be serving pork cutlets marsala, roasted vegetable asiago penne in a marinara sauce, green beans almondine, a lovely green salad, and fresh rolls. Oh - and tiramisu. Yes - there will be pictures and recipes to come.
So that's a start. One foot in front of the other... :)
Sixteen years ago today I got married. It was a fun day filled with hope and promise. Much laughter and many friends and beloved family... And good bad or indifferent, I had *really* big hair. (Photo proof here - lol)
And about an hour ago I signed off on all of the paperwork and filed for divorce.**
And while there are many valid and painful reasons for my decision - I will not be airing them here. There is no reason to. Just trust me when I say this is the right decision for all involved. And I have received MANY signs that I am on the correct path...
There simply comes a time to stand up, dust yourself off, square your shoulders and get on with it. Or as Pop would often say... "Rich, suck it up. Get tough." So that's what I am going to do. We have agreed to be amicable, and hopefully all will go smoothly. Though I have retained a savvy lawyer. Seemed like the smart thing to do all things considered...
I have a pretty good plan in place I think, and during the times that I am not just feeling completely overwhelmed by the enormity of the undertaking (and the paperwork - my GOD! The paperwork!) and thinking about all of the details that need to be resolved and covered I am actually pretty excited about the future. Or as it was best said in Armageddon... "I am 98% excited and 2% scared... Or maybe it's 98% scared and 2% excited... It's hard to tell."
So that's what I am doing today. Also going to go out for drinks with a few of my good girlfriends tonight. I need to laugh, and I am lucky to have some really sassy, brave, witty women in my posse...
And one day this will all be okay.
**The paperwork just happened to be done today. When the paralegal called she asked if I would prefer to come in next week since it was my anniversary today. I told her no. As Pop also used to say, "You either get busy livin' or you get busy dyin'... Make a choice."
Goodness. It's September. Where does the time go??
The girls have started school once again - 7th and 8th grade. And the hormones?? Well, let's just say that I am ever so thankful at times that there are 4 bathrooms in this house... Even though that means I have a lot of toilets to clean every week. Ha!
In other news some pretty big changes are in the works for me. I am turning forty soon and life is going to be getting very interesting on every level. My plan is to land on my feet, headed in a new direction. It is time.
My funny is still MIA by in large - though I do laugh every day. More would be better and I remain hopeful. There had got to be some comedy in this deal somewhere, right??
So - still alive. Still kicking. Still digging for a pony...
I am alive. In some ways barely... In others fully. It is what it is... Though I do hope to start regular blogging again aaaaany minute now.... Aaaaany minute.
Promise.
It is time to pick up the reigns again - and become fully present in my life on all levels.
So today I volunteered at school as I am want to do from time to time... Sporta came home with a sob story re: the precarious state of the "Irish Picnic" scheduled for today...
"But Moooooom! If they don't get some parents to volunteer it will be canceled!! Can you help??"
"Well hell - of *course* I can. Just get me signed up - something I can do in the morning before I go into the office, okay?"
"Thanks Mom!"
Hey - I will take any thanks I can get at this point from my teenaged pterodactyl people who live here.... But note to self - be careful what you let your kid sign you up for...
So I get to school - to find out what part of the Irish Picnic I would be helping to set up... Sportas teacher pointed me in the right direction and I shook hands with my partner mom (Kim - very nice) and looked to the other teacher gal for instruction...
"Okay, " she said "So we were going to do water balloons today but with the weather the way it is the kids will be playing a different game indoors."
Okay - I am with her so far....
"So what we are going to need is for you two to blow up some balloons for a game. Each kid gets a balloon and gets to tie it to their ankle with a bit of string. Other kids try to pop the balloons. Last kid with a "live" balloon wins!"
Got it - moving on... So I asked the money question... "How many balloons do we need to have blown up?"
"Well, " she said "We have three wings. Three sixth grade classes per wing and we will need 50 balloons per class...."
The other mom and I just stared.
I did the math. "That's 450 balloons. Are you joking?"
"Nope," she said "and we will need a few extras per class just in case of poppage..."
...
Seriously?? WTF? Are you kidding me? So the other mom and I gathered our supplies - there *was* a mini air compressor (that was a total POS by the way - I went with the manual method which was sooooo much faster...) and moved off to our corner of the hallway to get to work...
Can I just tell you? 450 balloons is a shit ton of balloons... We definitely had our work cut out for us. Then the other mom made the whole thing even better....
"I hate to tell you this - but I am TERRIBLE and at tying balloons. Never mastered the skill..."
Lovely. Shit.
So as hind sight is 20/20 I have to tell you... If you are in charge of blowing up 450 balloons** it would behoove you to tape up the index and middle finger of you non-dominant hand. It *my case that's my left... Because after about 75 or so you *will* wear the skin off of those fingers while tying said balloons... YOU WILL. And that shit stings - can I tell you? Stings!
I won't bore you with many details - but I can say that unequivocally this was the *worst* volunteer at school experience I have ever had... Ever. And just between you and me? That's saying something... I have been in charge of the hula hoop room fergottssake full of fifth graders. Twice.
And insult to injury - got a text from WxMan this afternoon... (Sporta roped him in to volunteering too...)
WxMan: wow u all blew up a lot of balloons
Me: It was a nightmare... I wore the skin off my fingers and will be sore... Good grief.
WxMan: wow... well i helped pop them
Me: Well i hope you and the kids had fun... Was it fun?
WxMan: Yep loud too
So there you have it. No sympathy for me but hey - it apparently was fun and loud to boot.... And skin grows back right?? Of course it does...
And we all know how inherently evil balloons are, right? Couldn't stop thinking about this while they were kicking my ass...
Next time I will make sure I am in charge of bringing in cupcakes or whatever though.... I am sooooo much better at that. LOL
**And seriously - I had to bug out and go to work after the first 300 or so... Good gawd... And I felt bad for leaving - though thrilled at the same time. Yeesh.
**Warning!** Not for the squeamish!! I never did learn how to put posts "below the fold" though - so just FYI
Think of this as a "what *not* to do kind of lesson... PSA ahead.
So, note to self - when doing a little fix-it project for Mom it's probably best to stick with standard tools... You know... Screwdrivers. Pliers. That sort of thing. But frankly, the standard tools were just not getting 'er done!
So I went out to Pop's shop and spied this little number...
And I thought oh yeah - *that* will do some damage... TO THE CHAIR. I needed to put some hurt on a chair I was working on. Good grief...
So last Sunday I was working on a stool - trying to remove one of those damn wooden button thingys that cover the screw head (so that if need be you can uhhhh - I don't know - tighten the damn screw if need be??) Oh yeah.. And Pop (being Pop) had superglued the damn things into place.
Oh joy...
So with great care and determination - and trying not to fuck up the chair I got busy with that little tool. Made some decent progress too...
Right up until I slipped...
Shit.... SHIT!!
Then the mad dash to not bleed on the carpeting commences while cupping my arm and wiggling my fingers thinking please God please God don't let me have taken out any tendons!!!
So here ya go if you want to see... The day after...
All in all not soooooo bad. Deep? Yes. Hurt like hell? Oh yes... But all of my fingers worked and while it swelled way up and bled like the dickens for two days I figured it would be okay...
Until the following day. That's when it didn't take a medical professional (AKA me) to realize that the stitches were blown and Huston?? We had a problem...
[No pic of this - believe me. You should be relieved...]
So another trip to the ER followed... And you know? It's just never a good thing when the ER attending (who treated you the first time around) takes one look and says "I am going to put in a quick call to Dr. Soandso... The hand specialist. I am sure he can come right over... "
Oh shit.
So he did. And this guy looked me in the eye and basically told me how very damn lucky I was. I just missed the median nerve- in fact he said he was absolutely amazed that I managed to miss it... Good grief. And that was the nice part. After that, he removed the stitches (why does that have to hurt so damn bad!?!?) and then proceeded to reopen the wound to "clean it out" (oh holy motherofgod!!!) And reclose it.
Thanks for playing! Here's your compression bandage! Keep it elevated!
But it did look better after a day of Mom bird doggin' me and making me elevate it and keep still, no?
And today? Well lets just say that it aches like hell and I am matching my outfits to the bruise... Might as well, eh?
And hell - you can always learn something, right? As the ER nurse said, "Hey - well if you ever decide to slit your wrists you know just what tool to use right?!?!"
Word. No kidding... Can't imagine the damage one could do if one were trying... Yeesh.
So take note - watch out for wicked sharp tools and play safe out there! :) I am going to go elevate my arm. Again.
It is finished. And my father is finally at rest. I was truly blessed to be with my Mother at his bedside as he crossed over as well as for the weeks prior... He was truly a warrior. And I am fortunate to have learned so very much from him. People have often asked me, "Rich - how are you holding up?" And all I have to say is...
"I am my father's daughter..."
And nothing more needs to be said. He raised us to be tough as well as compassionate. To be ever helpful but not to suffer fools lightly or allow others to take advantage...
I am lucky.
Godspeed Dad. And I hope the golf is as good as the fishing is bound to be in heaven.
So as busy as things have been - I have not had oodles and scads of time to read of late. Though I *did* just finish Mitch Albom'snew book "Have a Little Faith." It was an outstanding read - and had lots of things that really made me stop and think. This in particular (on page 93)...
From a Sermon by the Reb
"A man seeks employment on a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads simply, 'He sleeps in a storm.'
The owner is desperate for help, so he hires the man. "Several weeks pass, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley. Awakened by the swirling rain and howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. He calls for his new hired hand, but that man is sleeping soundly. "So he dashes off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed. "He runs out to the field. He sees that the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in tarpaulins. "He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the grain is dry.
"And then he understands. 'He sleeps in a storm.'
"My friends, if we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our faith, our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulfilled business. Our words will always be sincere, our embraces will be tight. We will never wallow in the agony of 'I could have, I should have.' We can sleep in a storm.
"And when it's time, our good-byes will be complete."
------------------------------
You know? I am probably going to have to work on some of that - though it rings pretty true to me... For some reason that particular parable has been rolling around in my head for weeks now and I find it to be quite comforting. And hey - comfort is good!
At any rate - I am headed back to Wyoming on Monday. It is what it is - and Mom needs me...
I will be buying some brain candy to take on the plane with me, however. Any suggestions? I need a new book...
Taken while we traveled down Shell Canyon in the Big Horn Mountains yesterday...
Of course - it's the perfect place for a photo op with the girls...
You know? I have probably driven/ridden past that bridge 1000 times. But we never stopped when traveling to see my grandparents on the other side of the mountain. Yesterday was a beautiful day to stop - and have a look around...
I think Molly had a great time!
And WxMan and Sporta had a ball throwing rocks through the snow at the waters edge. Whats not to love about throwing rocks to your heart's content?? And lord knows there were plenty around... ;) As for me...
I just thought it was pretty. I think I will be framing this one... :)
