My occasionally snarky thoughts on everything from motherhood, politics, life and current events. Cocktails are sometimes mandatory. Bottoms up!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

What not to Wear

Should be followed by "What not to Say." WxMan needs these shows... Bad.

As we walked to the kitchen the other day - he to get a snack of some sort, me probably to clean something, I made the observation...

Me: "Babe! Those pants are absolutely falling off of you! You look like you should be throwing gang signs and rappin' and wearing your hat upside down and backwards or something. You developing a new style there, Homie?"

WxMan: "Nah..." ::reaching into the freezer to get an ice cream bar:: "That's just what happens when you lose 25 pounds. You should try it!" [emphasis mine]

Me: ...

Me: "Oh hell no - that sentence did NOT just come out of your mouth!"

WxMan: "Uhhhhhhh..." ::backing away holding the ice cream bar like some kind of weird crucifix:: "No! I meant you should try one of these!"

Me: "Dude - you are soooooo toast. "

WxMan: ::ducking out the door:: "Love ya! You're beautiful!" ::escapes the kitchen::

Good gray grief - sometimes the damn Y chromosome really ticks me off. He cuts out his afternoon candy bar and shortens his commute by an two hours and *POOF* - 25 pounds gone. Me? Not so much. It's infuriating! Not surprising... but maddening none the less, the little show off...

Either way, it's not like we haven't had interesting conversations in my kitchen before where I marvel at the things he can think to do or say. Nuh uh. But he should be glad that he was out of arms reach this time...

Very glad.