My occasionally snarky thoughts on everything from motherhood, politics, life and current events. Cocktails are sometimes mandatory. Bottoms up!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Whatcha been doing?

So... been tweaking the resume. You know, it's harder than I thought it was going to be just gearing myself up for this. (Note to those younger than me -- get your degree. In whatever! Hmmmkay?)

Scoping the want ads, perusing et al, knowing for a fact that I do not want to tend bar ever again.... even though "bending tar" is a big chunk of my employment history...

--Can I get a Sex on the Beach?
**East coast or West coast style?
--Uhhh... how about a Harvey Wallbanger?
**You bet -- pass the Galliano.
--What's that?
**Oh, never mind. Wanna just go with a Whisky Sage? Or how about a Mojito?
--Uh, I'll just have a beer.

Unh uh. The hours just aren't family friendly. Ain't gonna happen.

And I've been out of the pool for a really looooong time. And now I'm trying to figure out just how to make *me* sound good on a piece of paper for a prospective employer. Saying that I am a "domestic engineer" doesn't quite cut it.

**Need to change multiple diapers in a timed event? I'm your girl...
**His parents and yours coming for Christmas? I can help you...
**Need to plan a birthday party for 15 five year olds? I got 'cha covered....
**How do you get crayon out of laundry or off of walls? You know I can...
**Hubby needs to host an event for 50 over Labor Day weekend? No prob....

How many words per minute do I type? I have no freeking idea. Prior work experience? Well, it was 10+ years and multiple states ago -- to be honest, I can't even remember some of the names of the people I worked for! You want addresses and phone numbers? Good grief! Some of these folks might even be dead!!! It was 10 years ago! Do I have skills that would apply? Probably.... I just don't have a clue how to best present them.

Part of me just wants to be able to write,

"Hi! I'm a responsible grown up. I am reasonably intelligent and I have no trouble working hard. I am good at multitasking, organization, maintaining a schedule, and I play nicely with others.

I feel confident that I will be a better employee than I was in 1994 -- and just between you and me? I was a pretty damn good employee in 1994. So there's that. "
Anyhoo, that's what I have been working on. Fun? Well, no. But I look forward to getting to the end result here....