Paging Cliff Claven...

Just some questions I want answered...
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Why do kids think it is so much fun to chew the erasers off of pencils and leave eraser chunks all over the floor??

Why must as much water "escape" the bathtub as possible for them to feel really clean?

Why do polish sausages have to be so fattening?

Why do coat hooks work at school but not at home?

Why are trashcans invisible to certain members of my household?

Why is mud a magnet for kids and creatures?

Why does it sometimes feel like I am being attacked by my bra?
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No biggy. I was just curious.... And also, why is it that sometimes I feel more tired 20 minutes after I get up than I do 20 minutes before I do?

Oh, that's right. Caffeine. Gotta go get some...