Fun for Saturday

First, (via email) bumper sticker funnies:
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Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.

Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"

The proctologist called...they found your head.

Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

Some people just don't know how to drive...I call these people "Everybody But Me,"

Hang up and drive!!**

Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

**We saw this one the other day on a red ford pickup, irony at it's finest -- the driver was on the phone when we passed...**
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And a quiz that answers the question "when am I gonna die?"
Um, okay....




That's okay, I'm still only halfway there...