On the fence...

This time literally!

Thank God no one was around with a camera. Hell! Fortunately, no one was around period!

So yesterday I was working with a client. While in the process of fixing lunch, I noticed that they were out of napkins. Ok - fine. No problem. Paper towels then....

Whoops - no paper towels either. Hmmmm... After looking for an extra roll for a while, I thought okay - I'll just go out to my car and get some of the extra napkins out of the glove compartment. So I walked out of the client's house gently pulling the door closed behind me and turned to see that I had WxMan's car. Duh... Not mine. And I had locked it.

I walk back to the house to go get the keys and the damn doorknob won't turn... WTF??

Shit!!! It locked behind me! Crap crap crap crap crap CRAP!!!

Ok - take a breath...

Right - no problem... The front door is open. We were enjoying the breeze! I'll just go in that way!

So I go around to the fenced front yard to go in through the unlocked front door.... Yup - you guessed it. Padlock on the gate...

Double SHIT!!!

My keys? Inside.
My phone? Inside.
My elderly client? Inside. Hard of hearing, and ensconced in his chair watching Days of Our Lives. Shit. No help there...

So after a few moments of internal freaking out I start to scope out the fence. Oh good God...

Keep in mind that I do not ever remember having successfully climbed over a fence even when I was a kid. And I feel confident that I am even more clumsy and uncoordinated NOW than I was THEN. But what else am I gonna do??

Find a sturdy spot. Check.

See if I can hoist my ass into a position where I have potential to end up on the other side of the fence. Check. (Though this part took the longest and I am sure looked beyond ridiculous.)

Prepare to land on the other side without breaking anything. Gut check.... Geronimo!!!

So the good news is, I got over the fence without breaking it or myself in the process. And without impaling myself on anything. Bad news? Birkenstock sandals (oh shut up - they're comfortable!) are not meant for climbing fences - or anything else for that matter. I have the bruises to prove it...

Or maybe I am just a total clutz. Either way, I was glad no one was there to watch though I am sure I was funny looking as hell...

And the client?? Never even missed me, thank God. Next time I will just fold up some tissue and call it good...