My occasionally snarky thoughts on everything from motherhood, politics, life and current events. Cocktails are sometimes mandatory. Bottoms up!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

A word on entertaining...

You know, I like to entertain. I like it a lot. So much so that we throw a couple of big parties every year.

Like for the Fourth of July (that's an annual gig), the Oscars (another annual gig that's going to ROCK this year), Halloween, Easter, and then an assortment of get togethers just because I feel like it...

It's fun and I like to feed people! And I am pretty sure that people like to be fed!

I am learning, however, that this is not necessarily the norm here in the new neighborhood...

Most of the people have been pleasant. A few even nice... But several have been wearing a demeanor of thinly veiled malice/jealousy/bitchyness/ I don't know what... Like the lady who commented in a very snide tone of voice after the sod went in...
"Well... You just got an insta lawn, didn't you!! You're just insta people!"

And all I wanted to say was "Well, wait until you check out my insta-fence, Bitch. Get off of my grass... I cannot help it if you decided to to with the seed and hope for the best method at your house. Leave me alone. "

And there have been other snide remarks made. Why folks can't just be happy with what they have is beyond me... But I digress.

Back to entertaining.

So the norm, it appears around here, is that the men all gather on somebody's driveway on a Friday or Saturday night** to drink beer and shoot the breeze. And the women throw parties...

My kind of party?? Food? Beverage? Chit chat?? Oh hell no... Sales parties.

Jewelry, "Christmas at Home," Candles... you get the idea. And I *hate* them. Always have... I will go if it's a good friend and they need my support *OR* if it's something I am really into (I was recently invited to a virtual Pampered Chef party - fabulous!!). But in this case, I am going as an emissary - we are new to the neighborhood, and you gotta do what you gotta do. Even if you don't like it.

So, not too bad you say?? Shopping? Other women?? Food? Beverage??

, if it were at *my* house (which will NEVER happen) it would be a great time. I guarantee it. But take for example what the hostess at the aforementioned Lia Sophia Jewelry Party said to Sporta and I at her gig.
Hostess Gal: (after an hour and 15 minutes into the party/shpiel) "Hey, would you like something to drink? Water? Diet Coke? And we have a few snacks over there..." [indicating the corner recesses of her kitchen]

Me: "No, thank you - I am fine for the moment..." (Thinking, "Good Lord Woman, I have been here for over an hour with the offer of *nothing*, I think I can make it my last 7 minutes... ")

Sporta (who was invited): "Miss Hostess Gal? Would it be okay if *I* had something to eat??"

HG: "Well, since your mom isn't eating, I guess it would be okay."

(Let me for a moment stress that... "since your mom isn't eating, I guess it would be okay..." WTF??? Are you f*cking kidding me?? What the hell is the matter with you??)
Me: (shocked and horrified and trying to keep a neutral expression on my face) "Sporta, you may have one thing. ONE. And we are leaving in 3 minutes..."

I do not understand people. My God...

But this weekend, it's my turn. And I intend to show them how it's done.

We have some company arriving on Friday (WxMan'd Dad, his lovely wife, and Grandma) and on Sunday I am having the house blessed. It's going to be a great time! (Can't wait to hear the blessing of the bar area, particularly...) And since I am having folks over from the church for a nice lunch, I have decided to just do a neighborhood open house as well - what the heck. In for a penny, in for a pound. Right?

And I am not even going to ask them to buy anything. A novel concept...

Long post - I know. But what post around here would be complete without a few pictures. Like of the gorgeous "insta" fence!

I am Loving it!

**And hey - ask me if the Driveway Beer Club has ever invited WxMan over for a cold one. Wanna guess??

Not once.

And that's fine. For one, WxMan doesn't give a rat's ass about the hows and whys of so-and-so's new Ice Shanty. Or where and who killed the best duck. Cares not one whit.

For two - the man room is DONE and ready for occupation.

What guy wouldn't be happy down there?? It makes *me* happy for heaven's sake!!

And here - just for the hell of it, is a picture of me, your hostess. (Taken at the old house last May?)

Come on in and help yourself. Lord knows we have plenty!
And now it's time for me to get to work - I have company coming after all...