Where the hell??
To be honest (and it's not much of an excuse) I have been busy as hell... AND my funny has gone away. It's hard to write about/laugh about things when you feel that your joy has been muted, and your emotions just vary from passive to pissed.
I am working on it - promise.
But just now I took a scroll back through my archives. Camping out in a hospital room increases the time you have to do that (amongst other things, like setting up a new email addy - aol is soon to go buh-bye for me**).
I used to be/have a WHOLE lot more fun I think... It sure seems like it anyway. But maybe retrospection is just rosier by design. I don't know... I seem to be hanging out on Face Book a lot just because it is quick and easy. That seems to be my approach to cooking and housework these days as well - just taking a quick and easy approach to everything.
Is that a good thing? Maybe. Maybe not. But what I know for sure is that quick and easy is my mindset these days. I am hoping to inject a sense of joy and fun at some point. (Sooner than later , please!) But for now I have gone to ground and am in work mode.
I looked back and saw that Pop (a.k.a. my Dad) was diagnosed with cancer July 14, 2006 - just before his younger brother died of this damnable disease. Pop's cancer journey has been fraught with far too many downturns and far too few upswings in my humble opinion. And no, damnit, just surviving the treatment doesn't really work for me as far as being a big boon of encouragement (Woot! FUBAR but alive!) or big cause for celebration. Though *I* am very glad to have been given the luxury of some more time with him... One begins to weigh "quality" vs. "quantity" at some point. I don't care who you are... The stance I have taken is to support him in whatever choices he makes. (This time it was his choice to have more radiation done - this time on his brain...) This is his rodeo - not mine... I am just a clown trying to distract enraged bulls long enough to do someone some good. (Note to self - I need more barrels...)
So where is this all going?? (Post? Rodeo? Pop's journey?) Damned if I know. Hospital rooms make for more introspection than one person needs, I think. The PT guy (Travis) was in earlier. Just hoping to help Pop's range of motion in his neck with some (more) deep tissue massage. When he arrived both Mom and Pop were snoozing away as I dinked around on FaceBook. Travis waved me into the hall...
Travis: "Hey - you think your Dad is up to working with me today? Or is he just too tired?"
Me: "Oh - I am sure he would hate to miss you. He enjoyed you so much the other day... And he's been napping on and off today. I think he will be fine..."
Travis: "And how is your Mom holding up?"
Me: "Mom's a rock. I am just here to be the shim..." ::smile::
Travis: "Yeah - I can see that... Good for you."
So there you have it. That's where I am at... I am shimmin'. Not a bad place to be all in all. And the RimRocks are within throwing distance. Maybe I can take that as a good sign, eh? Maybe... Shims galore there, after all... I am in good company.
**And yeah, yeah... I know. I am like the last aol user on the planet. Definitely time to join the 21st century. Leave my dinosaur status behind. ;)