My occasionally snarky thoughts on everything from motherhood, politics, life and current events. Cocktails are sometimes mandatory. Bottoms up!

Friday, February 29, 2008

Still sick...

But better. Does that make sense??

Also, the house will fall down around me if I continue to lay down. Why is that?? Well Roses has a theory - one that I find holds quite true...

It is Friday, though - so there's that. And I have Puffs! Seriously - thank God for Puffs.

And there are only 13 days until I am in paradise... 13. I can do that...

You 'spoze coughing counts as cardio?? That would be a nice trade-off. And I bet rum punch will kill just about anything that ails you - something *else* to look forward to. Right?

Thursday, February 28, 2008


Because, really - why not??

I will spare you the details. Trust me - you don't want to know...

I am going to lay low for a while.

As much as I can anyway... Bleh.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Oh ferGottsake...

I am apparently allergic to the uber super "you will tan faster and better and more and it smells like cookies - SEXY cookies" lotion crap. Tanning lotion that the Chickypoo, "Don't worry - you'll be FINE!!" sold me told me I needed.

F*cking wonderful.

Now while I am finally attaining a bit of color, I am itchy. Itchy in places that one should not *be* itchy. Bah... And the girls?? (And I am not talking Computa and Sporta, but the "girls" - aka breastakels) - NOT HAPPY. Several other places?? NOT HAPPY.




Can you say, "Not meant to be tan??" I can. And I freeking paid for the privilege...

I am an official I.D.I.O.T. An itchy one at that...

Pass the SPF 1000, please? This is ridiculous...

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Things I am thinking about today...

For one - it's garbage day. Yay garbage day!! My question is this - how is it that the family of five across the street has two little cans out front, each with one bag of trash and we, a family of four, have three larger cans all with multiple bags of trash in them and a couple more that wouldn't fit inside said cans??

How does that work? Am I just the queen of "throw it away!" ness?? Do they not eat? I mean WTF??

Next - whoever coined the happy phrase "It's clear as a bell and cold as hell!" ought to be punched in the face. I am sick of winter. Sick sick sick of it. But at least the sun is shining. Hooray for snowblindness! Grrrrr....

Also - how freeking smart do you have to be to work a tanning bed?? Apparently I am missing those particular brain cells that say: "Oh yes, get right in there! This is a great idea!!"

The other day I was at the salon (or whatever) thinking to my self -
"You know, won't it be nice when I spend more time *in* the tanning bed than getting undressed and dressed again? And really, should I be rotating or something because it seems to me that my right side is getting more exposure than my left. Huh. I wonder...."
And then I reached up and pulled the "lid" down.

I have been tanning - and getting crispy - with the freeking top UP on that thing... Good God. The chickypoo showed me how to work the fan, mister, aromatherapy crap, radio, blah, blah, blah, but neglected to tell me I need to pull the lid down once I get in. Duh...

I am just not meant to be brown. Time to back it off to two minutes, I think. And I had finally made it all the way up to four... *sigh*

Okay, time to hit the ground running. I get to go drive in all of this blowing and drifting blinding crap after I shovel us out, and top off my errands with a visit to the tanning place! Whoo! Later I get to go to the dentist! Who says my life isn't a big ball of fun??

Well, at least there is no numbing... (click to embiggen)

Monday, February 25, 2008

Everyone should have a red carpet moment...

And courtesy of Harvey and his illustrious and beloved wife TNT, everybody who arrived last night got one. Paparazzi free (darn it)... But a red carpet none the less.

This party just gets better and better every year for me - and I think I watch less and less of the show. It's all good... Teresa and her hubby included us in their whirlwind Midwest tour - and they are having travel issues as I type. I just love that they made the effort to come up!

Steph got off to St. Louis bright and early this morning - a good thing since we are expecting 5 - 8 *more* inches of snow. Oh joy... But hey - that's okay. Party leftovers are the best to be snowed in with. Right?

Of course, given the fact that I actually have leftovers - I have to wonder if everyone had enough to eat... ; ) Okay, maybe not.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Friday is always a good idea...

And I am in for a great day and an even better weekend!

Steph and I are going to see Juno today, just so we can have something to root for for Best Picture. I don't really care, but it's all in good fun. And movie popcorn sounds good - you know?

Yesterday afternoon I got a call from the gal I interviewed with a while back - she offered me the position!! Whoohoo!! I go in for orientation next week!!

And hey - we are having a heatwave! It's twelve degrees right now!! Whoo!!! (Okay - so that makes me officially delusional, but that's alright. Warmer is warmer, right?)

So my weekend is off to a fantastic start - I hope yours is as well... Happy Friday!

Thursday, February 21, 2008


Came a day early! Yay!

I am hosting quite a few folks this weekend - it is time for the annual Oscar Party after all. Going strong after eight years - whoohoo!

My good friend Steph arrived las night, avoiding the crap weather that was supposed to hit St. Louis today and we get an extra day to dink around and have fun!! Many of the usual suspects will be here along with a few new to the party.

Me? I am working on the menu. Imagine that... So far locked in are:
  • Bacon Wrapped Water Chestnuts
  • Taco dip & chips
  • Hot Artichoke Dip
  • Chilled Spinach dip with crusty artisan bread
  • mini Reuben Sandwiches
  • Boursin and Crab stuffed Mushrooms
  • Buffalo wings
  • and the BEST ribs in the World from a specialty shop in St. Louis - Baumann's Fine Meats
I am also planning a nice veggie tray, delicious potato soup, and various fruits and other things for a chocolate fondue. And I am sure a couple more goodies with make their way onto the menu as well.

Snark and Snacks - that's what the Oscars are all about around here. Snark and Snacks.

So I am off - lots to do and it's time to get cracking!

Oh! And the tanning yesterday?? Well, I went in for four *whole* minutes - and I am a teeny pink. I felt just as ridiculous as I expected to, and it *was* a little disconcerting. But I will go back. Three minutes this time. I am the cook-ER not the cook-EE after all... ; )

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

A day for firsts...

In preparation for my first time leaving the country, I am headed off to experience another first. And while I signed *myself* up and I am going of my own free will, I never ever thought I would do it.


And where am I off to today with no small amount of trepidation??


am going

to the tanning salon.

Otherwise known as "The Big Blue Coffin." ::gasp!:: Good lord - I think hell just froze over again. Or it might just be -12 below zero out. Either way.

So the little chickypoo yesterday assured me that I will be FINE. I live in the land of translucent Americans and people around here go to the tanning salon all the time.

They must, right? Or there wouldn't be any.


So today I am going in. In to the light... The blue light. For seven minutes.

Please God, don't let me come home looking like an unfortunate rotisserie chicken. Or a lobster.

Though lobster sounds delicious...


wRitErsbLock tagged me with a little something something - so here we go!

Place an X by all the things you’ve done. Answer the 32 questions and pass it on.

(x)Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school (one time - and it wigged me out)
( ) Watched someone die
( ) Been to Canada (I am dang near there now!)
(x) Been to Mexico
(x) Been to Florida
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Gone to Washington, DC (I really should one of these days...)
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
(x) Played cops and robber
(x) Recently colored with crayons (recent, to me, meaning within the last month)
( ) Sang Karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with coins only?
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?
( ) Made prank phone calls (before caller ID)
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(x) Gone to the movies

1. Any nickname? Rich - and it surprises people that I go by my given name and not my middle name or something...
2. Mother’s name? Diana
3. Favorite drink? Depends - I like iced tea, diet coke, wine and Guinness - but I am not too picky.
4. Tattoo? Yup - right ankle
5. Body Piercing? Ears only
6. How much do you love your job? Uh - some days I like it a lot! Others not so much. I have chosen the most "delayed gratification" job on the planet. Motherhood.
7. Birthplace? Laramie, Wyoming.
8. Favorite vacation spot? I haven't been there yet, but I feel confident in 3 weeks or so I will say Belize!
9. Ever been to Africa? No. But I am going to Belize, baby!!
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Maybe - but I don't have much of a sweet tooth so God knows how long ago...
11. Ever been on TV? I don't think so. But WxMan was the weatherman for KCTZ Channel 7 when we met. (WxMan is actually TV shorthand for weatherman.) Does that count?
12. Ever steal any traffic sign? No. I never saw the point to it.
13. Ever been in a car accident? Yes - but not recently, thank heavens.
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? I drive a multi doored vehicle.
15. Favorite salad dressing? Totally depends on my mood. I like honey mustard, blue cheese, ranch, thousand island, Newman's Own Caesar. And I'll try just about anything.
16. Favorite pie? Pumpkin
17. Favorite number? 13
18. Favorite movie? I have a bunch of favorites. I think I'll go with Forrest Gump today.
19. Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving
20. Favorite dessert? Cheesecake - you can never go wrong with cheesecake.
21. Favorite food? Too many to list.
22. Favorite day of the week? Every day is a good day - how about Thursday.
23. Favorite brand of body wash? I use dove soap and I like bath and body works Juniper Breeze products. I wish they would stop discontinuing my scents, though.
24. Favorite toothpaste? Crest whitening.
25. Favorite smell? Rain, freshly mowed grass, cookies, good pipe tobacco, turkey dinner.
26. What do you do to relax? Read.

What, no 27?

28. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Holy crap - the girls will be 20 & 21 (Yikes!), WxMan and I married for nearly 25 years - I think I should plan a party, don't you??
29. Furthest place you will send this message? to the moon, and beyond (what wRitErsbLock said)
30. Who will respond to this the fastest? dunno!
31. Favorite restaurant? Carrabbas, Red Robin (love the whiskey river BBQ chicken wrap!), I love going out to lunch in general!
32. Five people to tag: I am not tagging anyone, but feel free to play along!

Okay - time to get this party started - I have company coming this weekend!!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Some people just have too much time on their hands....

Case in point. (Work safe, btw...)

To be honest, I am surprised nobody got pissed off (with the exception of the beepity cart guy) and caused a problem.

What do you think - is it weird?? Or art?? I am still not sure...

Hat Tip to Loretta and Dal - where do you get this stuff??

Monday, February 18, 2008

Pam challenged...

I'll show you mine if you show me yours!
Everyone has a mug/crock/whatever filled with kitchen tools strategically placed near the stove. Even bachelors!
So, what the hey?? Here is what I keep my "most used" kitchen implements in...

I made it years ago when I was going through a mosaic tiling phase. I really enjoyed doing it too, and I have some new mosaic projects on the horizon. It's fun to break things and put them back together in a new way, you know??

So what do *you* have?? Feel up to sharing??

Sixty Things

Via Dawn (she's hilarious, btw) - and hey, at least it's not another "I am so OVER the weather!" post... So here we go!

60 Things You Possibly Didn't Know About Me

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
A blanket, 2 ice scrapers, ice melt and a frizbee.

2. When was the last time you threw up?
Uh... gosh. Long time ago. Now I am probably jinxed.

3. What's your favorite curse word?
I am an equal opportunity curser - but f*ck generally works for me.

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
It's early - give me a minute.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
It's 7:51 - I will let you know in nine minutes... nine minutes later: I was discussing shower etiquette with WxMan.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Getting Sporta and Computa squared away for school. Yay! There is school today!!

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Getting ready to go to lunch with my hubby!

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
I try never to speak aloud - telepathy works better.... Okay, that's a lie. I said, "Yup - it's supposed to snow all day. Imagine that!"

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Hot Tea.

12. What are you wearing right now?
jammie pants, a tee shirt and a polar fleece pullover

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Uh... Two cheetos as I packed a snack bag for Sporta. Breakfast of champions!

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No - but Computa needs some new shorts.

15. When was the last time you ran?
No idea - probably High School. Willingly?? Never...

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
NASCAR yesterday - WxMan was showing me the "thrill" of watching it in the Man Room. He was exercising his inner Okie for sure. ; )

18. Who is the last person you emailed?
My Aunt Richmond

19. Ever go camping?
Yup. Favorite place in the world to go is on Taylor Creek just south of Big Sky Montana. It's bear country though, so you have to be careful.

20. Do you have a tan?
Hahahahahahahaha!!!! No. But I need to make my way to a "tanning salon" sooner than later. I am a translucent American.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
I don't really drink soda - but sometimes, sure! What's wrong with a using a straw??

25. What did your last IM say?
I haven't IMed anyone in YEARS.

26. Are you someone's best friend?
I hope so.

27. What are you doing tomorrow?

28. Where is your mom right now?
Home in Wyoming.

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
A painting. This one...

30. What color is your watch?
I don't generally wear a watch - but I have a one that is like a silver bracelet when I need one.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Lots of things. The Barrier reef, great accents, The Thorn Birds, swimming, kangaroos... I want to go someday.

32. Would you consider plastic surgery?
Not at this stage in my life.

33. What is your birthstone?
Yellow Topaz - I think it's ugly.

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
When we go it's Drive Thru.

35.How many kids do you want?
Two. So yay! All done there!

36. Do you have a dog?
Two of them too!

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
My friend Steph - she is coming up this week - yay!

38. Have you met anyone famous?
Several people. Mickey Rourke was an asshole but Harry Connick Jr. was a dream!!

39. Any plans today?
Always - there is ALWAYS work to be done.

40. How many states have you lived in?
Oh crap - now I have to count... Uh.... Eight. Sheesh!

41. Ever go to college?

42. Where are you right now?
In my kitchen at the breakfast bar.

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Biggest, as in pound for pound?? Or biggest as in most annoying - be specific!

44. Last song listened to?
Smooth by Santana

46. Are you allergic to anything?
Schnapps - seriously. It's not pretty.

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
My winter birks.

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
No. Good God, no. What a wasted emotion.

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
I don't care.

51. What time is it?
8:13 am - what can I say, I am a slow typist.

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Most of them do - we are all crazy together!

53. Do you eat healthy?
I eat WELL. Does that count?

54. What do you usually do during the day?
What a question! It would be easier to answer "what DON'T I do during the day?" That answer would be sit on my ass...

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
Uh - not really. But there are people who need to fall off the earth. Osama Bin Laden comes to mind...

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Yes - though "Hey there!" is probably more accurate.

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
38 - Gotta love it!

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Ugh. Yes. No more though... I don't *do* rides and WxMan can take the girls himself now - they're old enough.

60. How did you get one of your scars?
Oh - which one to choose!! I have one on my ankle from dropping a mayonnaise jar in the creek behind my Grandpa John's house. We were catching minnows and tadpoles, I saw a snake dropped the jar and got cut. That hurt.


8:29 Alrighty then - time to get cracking. Lots to do today! I have sock matching scheduled for 9:30 - whoohoo!! (Number 11 didn't ask what I put in my tea...) ; ) Happy Monday!

Update: Hey - I just noticed there is no #57, anything YOU want to know?? Heh.

Friday, February 15, 2008

I get the feeling....

...that the universe is trying to tell me something. Now if I can just figure out what it is... Hmmmm....




Thankfully, Yabu has my back. And the answer... ; )

Happy Friday, y'all

Thursday, February 14, 2008


The husband woke me this morning at 5am. Usually, the conversation goes something like this...

WxMan: "Hey, Babe?? Honey?? You up??"

Me: "Nnnnnmmmmf??"

WxMan: "Hey - sorry to wake you, but could you take a look at something?"

Me: "Seriously?? Uh... I guess..." ::opens one eye - tries to focus::

WxMan: ::turning on light:: "Does this shirt go with these pants??"

Me: ::wincing away from the light:: "Dude, it's a blue shirt and khaki pants..."

WxMan: "Yeah - do they go together??"

Me: "It's a blue shirt and khaki pants - of course it goes..." ::closes eye::

WxMan: "Are you sure?? I mean..."

Me: "YES. It goes. And believe me, at 5am nobody cares except for your loving and patient wife. You have 90% of the population beat already just by having clothes ON. You look fine..."

WxMan: "Okay, thanks." ::turns off light (thank God):: Love ya."

Me: "Nnnnnmmmmf"


Fast forward to this morning...

WxMan: ::quietly:: Hey Babe?? Happy Valentine's Day - I got you a card... Love you. See you tonight."

Me: "MMmmmm??? Oh! Love you too. Have a good day."


Here's hoping your Valentine's day is off to a good start as well... Gotta love it.

Don't send a lame Valentine's Day eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Maybe we should take some lessons! You think?

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I am TIRED of the snow

Just wanted to say...

It's becoming rather depressing, actually.

Monday, February 11, 2008

10 Years Ago

Ten years ago today, the movie Titanic was nominated for 14 Oscars. (I'm King of the World!!!)

The DOW hit a record high of 8,295.61 (Whoohoo!)

The Clinton Administration was rallying allies in support of a strike on Iraq in the event that Saddam Hussein would not allow unrestricted U.N. inspections of suspected weapons-building sites. (Imagine that...)

The Olympics were being held in Nagano, Japan - Today's events: Cross Country Skiing, Curling, Men's and Women's Hockey, Women's Luge, Snowboarding Men's and Women's Halfpipe, and Women's Speedskating 3000m. (No figure skating - they must have known I was going to be indisposed...)

And I couldn't be concerned with any of those things. I was busy... It was Sporta's day to arrive.

And while you never know when her "Inner Imp" is going to come out...

She makes me proud every day to be her Mom.

Happy Birthday Sporta!! You've come a long way, kiddo! And we have a ways yet to go.... Whoohoo double digits!!

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Let me tell you what I'm NOT doing...

I have people coming over later today - I am NOT cleaning my house. (Maybe an indication that all is well, or that I just don't care because these people are my friends. Hard to say... I might just be lazy.)

I am NOT tanning - at least not yet. But having done the grand "How do I look in this bathing suit??" check of 2008 combined with the fact that I will be in Belize in the not too distant future?? That's going to have to change. I am beyond pale, people. Well beyond.

I am NOT working on the Church newsletter - though I should be. Gah... I'll get it done. Have to...

I am NOT headed out to shovel snow. Well.... yet. I am sure that I will have ample opportunity sooner than later. You 'spoze it counts as cardio??

I am NOT going back to bed with my book, though the temptation is great.

I am NOT understanding the mass appeal of this commercial.

It makes me want to NOT drink the water, if nothing else... (If the link doesn't work - you can see it here...)

What are you NOT doing?? Inquiring minds want to know!!

Friday, February 08, 2008

Cracking me up...

At least, this video is.

Explains a lot about my... uh... colorful use of language as well...

Oh - and congratulations Navy CPO for getting over the 1000 mark - whoohoo!

Happy Friday, Y'all - I hope that you have a fantastic f*cking weekend! : )

Thursday, February 07, 2008


Well finally - the plows made it through...

Is this going to stop being more work for me anytime soon?? Sheesh... I am headed back out - Oh Yay! more shoveling. Hopefully the snowblower will handle most of it, though... Grrrrrrr...

Snow Day


Imagine that...

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Mid Thigh...

Sexy!! Unless you are mid-thigh in SNOW.

It can stop now.


Aaaaaaany minute now....


What if I promise to believe in Global Warming??





Suburban Blizzard

And we are most certainly snowed in...

It's pretty bad out there, kids. And I for one am happy not to have to go anywhere today.

Sporta and Computa requested pancakes for breakfast. (Oops! Sorry!! We are out of syrup!) But they settled for biscuits and sausage gravy. (Whew! The day is saved!) We have three movies ready to be watched (yay Blockbuster online and my Blu-Ray queue!!) Sky High (seen it- it's cute!), Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (haven't seen it), and Fantastic Four (seen it, seen it, seen it...)

Either way we *will* be entertained.

In other news, I got these in the mail the other day!

Certainly not appropriate footwear for my date with the snowblower later, but still. Cute, comfortable, and more than ready to carry me through tropical climes. I just need to get there.

I should probably start digging out now. Is it wrong to shovel snow while listening to calypso music?? I hope not.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Maverick Vs. Iceman

Now *this* entertained me!

And who would have thought I'd be rooting for Iceman this time around... Heh.

Super Tuesday

And my good friend Teresa has a message for any of those people planning to stay home because their candidate didn't make the cut or stay in the race... The money quote:
I know all the arguments about "I can't vote for..." this or that person so I'm staying home. I have two words to say:


Who told you life is perfect and your choices would be too? That is a fairytale for babies.
Sing it, Sister! I am sooooooooo sick of all of the political whining, pissing and moaning. It's time to stand up and make your voice heard. Just DO it.

As for me it's not so much a "super" Tuesday as it will be a "souper" Tuesday. We are under a winter storm warning (imagine that *sigh*) again so I think I will get ready to hunker down. It's a good day to make soup - French Onion I think.

Anybody want to wager tomorrow will be another snow day?? They are calling for 7-9 inches of the white stuff. The girls think they're great - wait until they realize they will be in school all summer to make up the days. That will go over well...

Monday, February 04, 2008


Hey - it was a big weekend! I am going to be digging out for a while...


Update: Speaking of "digging out" - it's freeking RAINING today. Thirty-five degrees and pouring rain in February. Crazy. The only good thing is I don't have to shovel rain - so there's that.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Now, that's the way to end a week...

The job interview went WELL. At the risk of jinxing myself, I'd say it went very very well.

As in, the interviewer thanked me for "brightening up her gray Friday afternoon" well. And she laughed at all of my jokes - always a good sign.

So now I have to pass a background check. Hmmm... Given my nefarious past, I sense trouble. (Okay, not really. But I am still trying not to jinx myself.)

I think this would be a very good fit for me. A very good fit. Yay!

So, feel free to cross your fingers and send a good vibe or three my way, I may have finally found my "So, what do you want to be when you grow up??" thing. One could hope, anyway...

I got an *E*!!!


From Pamibe I get an *E* for Excellence in blogging.

Thanks, Pam! I have no idea what I have done to deserve this except to just show up every day - or hell, every other day... it's all good... Thank you!

And now it is time for me to bestow the Excellence onto 10+ other bloggers! So here we go!

Roses from Ack Thbbbt
Christina from Just *dot* Christina
Rave from Quid Nunc
Harvey of Bad Example fame...
Eric the Straight White Guy
Contagion from Miasmatic Review
T1G from Drunken Wisdom
SarahK from Mountaineer Musings
Yabu from Bad Bad Juju
Dash who's at The Boiling Point
and Oddybobo - The Bobo blogger.

Really. You should be reading *all* of them. Just saying...

All y'all are an *E* in my book! Happy Friday!