My occasionally snarky thoughts on everything from motherhood, politics, life and current events. Cocktails are sometimes mandatory. Bottoms up!

Monday, July 31, 2006

Have you ever.....

.....looked up at the clock, and noted that is was 8:05pm.
"I should go to bed and be rested for a change...."
Only, I don't want to go...

Oh yes, I could sleep - but I would rather still be interacting with my family. Crap. Sometimes the dilemma sucks - not just for me but for every grown-up.....

(Remember when you thought that being a "grown-up" meant that you could stay up late and eat ice-cream whenever you wanted??? Or watch what you wanted to on T.V.?? Or just go where you pleased when you pleased?? )

I do..... **sigh**


Obviously these folks just need to drink more.... At the very least.


...or is it?

For me, it's Monday. For WxMan (my hubby) it's Saturday. So what does that make it between the two of us... Thursday maybe?? Who the hell knows.... No wonder we're confused all of the time.

Anyway, here is today's Brain Bender....


Fill in the blanks to complete the word below.

S _ _ U _ T _ NE _ _ SL _


Okay, so you know what to do! The answer will be found in the comments later. Happy Satmonursday!

Update: Today's official and quite speedy smartypants is friend and reader Rich Blank! Whoohoo!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Dear http://www.universe.....

My mom vacuumed me today with the hose attachment.

I enjoyed it at the time, but now I am beginning to feel a little weird about the whole thing.

She tells me that I am a good boy, but I'm not so sure.

Am I destined to forever feel like a "dirty dog?"

Thanks for your help in this matter...


Saturday, July 29, 2006

Memity, meme meme meme.....

Perfect for a Saturday. And shamelessly stolen from CalTechGirl.

What curse word do you use the most?

I am an equal opportunity swearer. All swear words have place and function.

Do you own an iPod?

Nope. I'm simply not cool enough...

Who on your MySpace "Top 8" do you talk to the most?

What the hell is this "My Space" I keep hearing about?? Is this another indicator that I am old?

What time is your alarm clock set for?

4:15am Just in case I don't wake up like I usually do at 3:56. Why 3:56?? I have no freeking idea. Stupid internal clock....

What color is your room?

The walls are a creamy cafe au lait and the trim is white.

Flip flops or sneakers?

I am with CTG here - Birkenstocks, all the way.

Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?

I am the official photographer around here....

What was the last movie you watched?

And made it all the way through without falling asleep? I have no idea.... But Harry Potter 4 is in the portable DVD player in my laundry room so I can be entertained while I fold clothes.

Do any of your friends have children?

Pretty much all of them.

Has anyone ever called you lazy?

No. At least I don't think so. I have called myself lazy from time to time....

Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?


What CD is currently in your CD player?

Collective Soul - Youth

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?

Not a milk drinker. I'd rather have an iced tea or a glass of wine, thanks.

Has anyone told you a secret this week?

That's for me to know and you to find out....

Have you ever given someone a hickey?

Oh hell, yes...

Who was the last person to call you?

My friend Tanya - We have been friends since the second grade.

Do you think people talk about you behind your back?

A better question would be, do I give a shit? The short answer is "no."

Did you watch cartoons as a child?

Are you kidding?? Of course!! And now having kids there are new ones to watch...

How many siblings do you have?

One. A younger brother. He is an Engineer and lives in Phoenix.

Are you shy around the opposite sex?


What movie do you know every line to?

Forrest Gump, The Cutting Edge, and pretty much all of the Harry Potter films.

Do you own any band t-shirts?

None. Maybe I should remedy that....

What is your favorite salad dressing?

Newman's Own Caesar or Ranch. Or this fabulous homemade Roquefort dressing from a restaurant in my hometown. Mmmmmm.

Do you read for fun?


Do you cry a lot?

I seem to have been lately.

Who was the last person to text message you?

What the hell is a text message? This is about me getting older again, isn't it.

Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?

Yes. Love them both.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?


What is the weather like?

Hot. Damn Hot. And Muggy. Ugh.

Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?

No. But just because I am married. No more dating for me (thank God).

Is sex before marriage wrong?

Not necessarily when you're with someone you're committed to. But if my girls ask me? At this stage I will say it is definitely wrong.

When was the last time you slept on the floor?

You can sleep on the floor?

How many hours of sleep do you need to function?

To function? 3-4. To function well? 8.

Are you in love or lust?

Yes. ; ).

Are your days full and fast-paced?

Usually. But today is "leisurely morning Saturday." I am just about to go get busy though....

Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?

Not usually. But I will do a comparison occasionally. Does the "calorie count" ever stop me from buying something that looks delicious? Never.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?


Are you picky about spelling and grammar?

Yes. And I am a terrible typist - typos everywhere. I drive me crazy.

Have you ever been to Six Flags?

Yes. Not my favorite. I am not much of a "let's go on some rides" gal.

Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?

Men. Women can be really mean. (And petty and ridiculous). But I can hold my own with either gender.

Do you like cottage cheese?

I guess so. But I *never* buy the stuff so I must not like it that much.

Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?

On my side or back.

Have you ever bid for something on eBay?


Do you enjoy giving hugs?

Absolutely. But I am not an "acquaintance hugger" (you know - those people that always want to hug you when they greet you, or when you're leaving, or when you have talked to them for a while, all.the.time.) I'm into hugging good friends and family. I should probably hug my kids more.

What song did you last sing out loud?

Unwritten. By Natasha Bedingfield

What is your favorite TV show?

The 4400

Which celebrity, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with?

Rachel Ray or Paula Deen - and I'd want to help her cook lunch. Or we could all just meet at The Lady and Sons. Either way.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?

Waiting for my Dad's diagnosis.

What one thing do you wish you had?

A secret superpower.

Favorite lyrics?

I agree with CTG here - far too many to pick from...


Well, that was fun. Now it's time to get to work. Happy Saturday, y'all!

Friday, July 28, 2006

Out to sea....

Boy does that ever sound good today - just bugging out and hitting the waves. No oceans near by and other duties call, unfortunately. But we can still play a little! Here is today's Brain Bender....


Bob's boat is moored at low tide. The boat's ladder has eight rungs exposed. If the tide rises eight feet and the rungs are a foot apart, how many rungs will be exposed at high tide.


Yup, hanging out on Bob's boat sounds like a heck of a lot more fun than what is in store for me this afternoon. Oh well, as the saying goes "There's no rest for the wicked and the righteous don't need any." The answer will be found in the comments later. Happy Friday!

Update: Friday's official smartypants award is shared by Rave from Quid Nunc and CTG from Not Exactly Rocket Science! Whoohoo!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

You know, for someone who doesn't think of herself as having much going on.....

....I sure seem to have a hell of a lot of stuff to do!

I mean really. I work part time, my kids are no longer toddlers requiring constant supervision (like some moms I know...), and I am getting my ass handed to me this week! Run, run, run - and never catching up!

Now granted - I did accidentally volunteer to help out with the church newsletter. [What they heard: "Hi! I'd like to take over the production of the newsletter, please. Oh, and could I do that and have a deadline in 10 days? That would be great!!!"]

Holy crap! Literally!

Naturally they are also wanting to do a complete overhaul and change the format a bunch, so I have really been flying by the seat of my pants. And compiling documents, writing articles, and taking meetings with everyone from the Preist, Senior Warden, church secretary, and Bob the gardener guy. And of course, everyone has suggestions to help..... (Just for the record - I'm Episcopalian. So at least I am not going to have to interview a passle of nuns too....)

Don't get me wrong, these are very nice people. People that pray! Pray a LOT even! And they are sooooooooo happy that I volunteered tripped and fell into doing this. Happy, happy, happy. With some happy sauce on the side. Happy.

'Course, this means that my usual workload and certainly blogging have had to take a back seat. Ugh. I can deal with the dishes in the sink - but don't take away my blog time!! Not nice!

So for at least one more afternoon (probably two) I am going to be running like my hair is on fire. I had two more meetings scheduled for today and I am in desperate need of a tour of duty in the laundry room - my laundry fairy *still* has yet to arrive!! Dammit!

Later ( because I am not cruel like Eric ), I am going to go water my flowers and my yard. Poor flowies are very droopy today.

Then it will be newsletter, newsletter, newsletter until the @$!# thing is finished. (Provided I am done getting handed material.... "Could you please just fit one more little blurb in?? Thanks!")

How much longer 'till Saturday Sunday?

Running late.....

But hey, at least I'm running.

Here is today's Brain Bender....


Lucy is three times as old as she was 16 years ago. In 16 years, she will be five times as old as she was 16 years ago.

How old is she now?


But more importantly, did she get the memo that her ass will fall once she turns 32?? That's what I want to know. (It's a rather nasty shock if you ask me.....)

Anyway, the answer will be found in the comments later. See you then!

Update: Today's official Smartypants is CalTechGirl from Not Exactly Rocket Science. ('Course, she's a smartypants in real life too - so no surprise there.... ) Whoohoo!

Holy crap!

Up to my eyeballs the past two days..... Coming up for air soon I hope......

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I am running with the bulls today....

Or at least that's what it feels like. Good grief.

Anyway, here is Wednesday's Brain Bender.....


Odd Man Out

Which of the words below is least like the others? And why?


Okay, you know what to do. The answer will be found in the comments later. (Somebody toss me a lasso, will ya?)

Update: Oddybobo and Rachel share smartypants honors today. Whoohoo!

Hmmmmm...... Wisdom?

I got this via email. And though I don't know if "Equal" is the word I would use - it seems to smack of some truth....

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Hmmm.... Like I said... Equal? Not so much.... I consider myself an "equal" regardless. What is the word I'm looking for?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Something wonderful just came to my door....


I have wonderful friends.... *sniff* ::wipes eyes::

Thank you so much Oddy - they are so cheery and wonderful. You are one lovely lady....

Time to play....

Tuesday's Brain Bender. Ready??


What two words, formed from different arrangements of the same seven letters, can be used to complete the sentence below?

Little Otto could think of nothing more likely to __________ his hunger than a good __________ with cabbage.


Ohhhh poor kid. His name is Otto and he's is eating cabbage for lunch. It's hot today and cabbage never sounds good when it's hot out. Unless it's cole slaw...

Anyway, like always the answers will appear in the comments later. Hope your lunch was better than Otto's!

Update: Raging Mom from The Splatter Zone is our official Smartypants today. Whoohoo!

Out!! Damn spot!!

Can you spell irony??? Oooooh I can. Oh yes.

Wxman decided he was going to "help me out" while I was gone to Wyoming a couple of weeks ago. Admittedly, I came home to a tidy house, with the dishes done, and clean sheets on the bed. Whoohoo!

The only downside was he also cut down a tree.

Oh, okay. Well it didn't fall on the house so that's not so bad (I guess).

And he steam cleaned the living room carpet.

I can hear you now - "What's so bad about that, Rich?? He was cleaning, wasn't he??"

Well, yes. Clean carpets are a good thing. There is however, a new addition to the carpet that I can't seem to get rid of.

This is where he spilled the bottle of carpet shampoo. ---->

And though I have scrubbed and cleaned and gone over that spot umpteen times using gallons of water the spot remains.

It teases me though - you get so that you feel you have surely washed that area over enough. The spot *must* be no more - less than a day later. Whabbo! It's baaaaaaack!

One would think that would be the cleanest area of the rug too... Damn the luck....

Monday, July 24, 2006

It is finished.

The long battle is over and my world dawned a bit dimmer - though I was unaware at the time...

My beloved Uncle Ben died last night after fighting longer and harder than any of us could have ever imagined to hold on to each day. He was a kind and gentle man, and a good friend to me my entire life. I feel blessed to have known him.

I got the news just before I left for work this morning - somehow I had slept through the phone call from my Dad last night. Ben is at peace. He can finally rest. And it is time for the rest of us to find a new normal.

I thought about Ben as I watched the sunrise and drove to work. I thought about our relationship. How well he knew me, and how he could always make me laugh. How safe and loved and beautiful he always made me feel.

How when I was a teen filled with angst, chafing under my relationship with my Father he gave me a tremendous gift. He gave me a door.

"I'm Switzerland." He would say. "If you ever need to, you can always come and stay here with me. I won't tell anyone, and we will get everything figured out. You can always stay with me."
It was such a gift to know I had an out - even if I never used it.

So as I got to work and put on my game face, I checked out the job I was going to be inspecting today. It was a job that hadn't run in a very long time. (And one I had never seen before.) Strange packing instructions. Lots of defects to be on the lookout for. "Good," I thought. "I'll be too busy to do much thinking."

Then I looked at the shipping destination.


Uncle Ben is okay. He is Switzerland, after all. I am going to miss him so much....

He was never one to sit for a picture but I did convince him to pose with the girls during a visit three years ago. This will be how I remember him... Always....

God speed Uncle Ben. I love you very much....

Update: My cousin's partner Deb also wrote a lovely tribute to Ben... Well said, Deb. Well said.


You 'spoze it's a bad thing to be thinking "You know, I could take a nap later..." five minutes after you got up as you're brushing your teeth??

Yeah. I thought so too.

But I could take a nap later.....

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Ahhhhh.... Sleep.....

Something tells me that this kid is going to have to have a waterbed one day... Do they even make those anymore?

H/T Loretta and Dal

Friday, July 21, 2006

I really should go take a shower....

...but I just poured a glass a wine and this chair feels damn good.

The good news? My house is clean. Thanks in part to a four hour phone conversation with Rave from Quid Nunc (can you believe it was four hours, Rave???)

Everything got picked up, bathrooms were scrubbed and kitchen floor got done, sheets got changed, the dishwasher was unloaded - loaded and run - and unloaded again, and laundry got folded. All while while we giggled and chatted and solved all kinds of issues. It was great.

The bad news? While my house is clean - I am not. Ugh. And I have clean sheets to crawl into tonight so rectifying that situation should be a priority right about now.


update: 7:45pm

Okay, so now I am bathed. While I was writing this post another blogger (Oddybobo) called and I got to get all caught up with her. Heh. I am serious - if you ever have the chance to chat with other bloggers you SHOULD - Eventually your house will get clean and you will too.

And *that* is always a good thing. Heh.


Also known as Friday's Brain Bender. Ready?? Here we go!


1) Remove a letter from a word for a cleaning utensil to find the word for a hurried action.

2) Remove a letter from a word that means "look at" to find a word that means "is able."


Pretty straight forward, I think. A good way to spend a bit of Friday afternoon. And as always, The answers will be found in the comments later.

Update: Lucky from Desert Odyssey is our official smartypants today (and he's in lust). Whoohoo! Rachel gave it a good try but I know for a fact that she has been distracted today by online pac-man. Thanks for playin'. Happy Friday!

Huh. Me??

I found this over at Twisted Chili. Yeah... This sounds a bit like me.

(And yes, I'm procrastinating a bit, so sue me!)

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.

You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

Hmmmm.... though I wouldn't describe my self as "moody" - generally people will have no clue what mood I'm in at any given time unless they know me really, really, really well. And even then, probably not. I think a better word might be "pensive."

And I have no idea no idea about the "freak flag" - I'll have to be on the lookout for *that* special item I guess. Heh.


It's Friday, and for no good reason I didn't have to go in to work this morning. Whoohoo! So I have been enjoying that rare and elusive leisurely morning. Ahhhhhh.... My favorite.

The god of simple pleasures talked to the Mother Nature and has negotiated a break for the icky sticky heat as well - an expected high of 76 today with sunshine. No rays of sunshine yet but that's okay - at least we are not being steamed alive...

So. Once I get the ball rolling around here it's going to be housework, housework, housework. (The scary thing is that it actually sorta appeals to me - ummm. Maybe I should have that checked...) The girls completed their room project and it looks quite nice! They are quite pleased with themselves. (It may stem from all of that watching Room Makeover boys vs. girls.) I may have to post a picture, even...

Hubby (WxMan) got home last night having spent four nights in Minneapolis at a business conference. I am always so glad to see him get home after those $#!% things and I actually slept soundly last night for the first time this week. Yay me!

Oh! And as luck would have it he actually has tomorrow off from work. This will be the first day off he and I have had together in....... months. Yikes, I really had to think about that. That's sad.

So okay, I have an even better reason to get the house squared away, so that I can have all day tomorrow to dink around.

So what's on tap for you today/this weekend?? Something fun I hope....

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Now back to our regularly scheduled silliness...

Because I just can't live in depresso-land. Ugh. And who would want to!? Today's Brain Bender is easy schmeasy. Feelin' speedy?? Here we go!!!


What three letter word can be placed in the blanks below to make three different words?
  • PAL ____
  • SURF ____
  • MEN ____


See what I mean? So just for the hellofit I will award bonus points for using the three words in a creative sentence. Have fun! And like always, the answers will appear in the comments later.

Update: Today's very speedy winner and official smartypants is Teresa from Technicalities! Whoohoo! And bonus points go to Roses for this creepy, yet creative sentence:

As she lounged near the pool behind her PALACE, that MENACE of an ex-husband she had secured to the bottom of the pool with an anchor began to SURFACE.

Yeepers! Thanks for playin' y'all...

An Update.... this post and this one....

My Dad was diagnosed last Friday with a rare form of cancer after surgery he had a week ago today. Yesterday, he was to meet with the oncologist to get a little better handle on the diagnosis and pathology report.

The bad news? It is most definitely cancer. Odd. Rare. And with very little written reference describing treatment.

The good news? It is seemingly a cancer that developed within the wall of the large cyst he had removed. Completely encapsulated. No weird/bad fingerlings trying to *go* elsewhere. Not a cancer that had metastized from another area. So they may have gotten it all...

Scary? Yes. Definitely. Especially in the wake of what we have been experiencing with my uncle (Dad's brother) Ben. Who continues to linger on - in spite of everything. (Have I ever mentioned that he is a stubborn man? Well, he *is.* Always has been - no surprises there...)

So, now we wait for a course of treatment to be decided upon for my Dad. As we wait for the finality of what is to come for Ben....

And we live....

And we laugh...

And we hope for the best...

That's all we I can do...

Well. I definitely could have used another hour of sleep...

But I can't say that I am surprised that this woke me up. Holy Crap!

It will be interesting to see what's what by the light of day. The girls are going to camp out in my bedroom for the duration - fighting the forces of nature (and sleep)
by giggling, I'm sure.

Me? I'll just keep watching the radar...

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I dare not disturb...

Wanna know what the girls are doing right now??

I can barely believe it.

They have been ensconced upstairs with their best "neighbor" friend (who is a consummate purger) and they are cleaning and organizing their room....


They have been downstairs only to show me a "sketch" of what they plan to do, and to ask for garbage bags... I could faint from joy!

And holy crap. If I could bottle and sell this essence d'clean room I would make a mint!

For right now though, I am just going to be quiet.... Vewy, vewy quiet.... And let them work play.
::maniacal giggle::

Waiting on the phone to ring.....

.....while twisting yourself in knots.

I seem to be doing a lot of that these days. Wound so tight sometimes that I don't even really feel the tight bands of anxiousness until I consciously will myself to relax. Then and only then do I feel the immense pressure.

Or so I think.

Hell, I've probably shrunk a couple of inches just by unconsciously trying to cope. Ugh.

So what do you do to try and relax?? (And yes - this is a bit related the my earlier stress post).

I've tried to regulate and deepen my breathing.

To concentrate on lengthening my spine.

To laugh more (I am working on a Moose Chalupa post inspired by Harvey - who always makes me laugh... And if you're not reading Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper you should be. Heh.)

I've had wine.

I am re-reading Harry Potter 6.

I am really trying....

But a lot of the time I feel like I have a giant rock on my chest. The other day I had the whole "tight bands with shooting pain" combination for about 4 minutes that I did lamaze breathing (transition) through while stage whispering:

"Shhhh, honey." pant-pant-pant-pant-pant "Stop talking to Mommy. Just shut up for a minute." pant-pant-pant-pant-pant-pant "You have to shut up now...." pant-pant-pant-pant-pant-pant-pant "Mommy is going to be fine if you will just stop asking questions....." pant-pant-pant-pant-pant "Shhhhhhhhut up - please, Honey!" pant-pant-pant-pant "Shhhhhh....."
To K. (While she performed her *own* little Chinese fire drill). Lovely. Dying* words to my eldest daughter? "Shut up, please." Nice. I'll expect my Mother-of-the-Year award in the mail shortly. (Not.) But at least I said please, I guess.

*And for the record, I *know* I wasn't dying. I am 35 for heaven's sake and perfectly healthy. It was just a reaction to stress I think. And maybe a taco I had for lunch.

And here I sit. Waiting for another call. Harry Potter open in front of me and cocktail hour just 3 hours away. That should be working.... But in case I've missed something, any suggestions?

Today's Chinese proverb....

Yup, you guessed it. The girls talked me into taking them for Chinese food for lunch. And is my arm sore! They almost had to twist it off to get me to agree..... (not)
You cannot run away from yourself; You're always right behind you.

Yeah, but what if you're really scary looking?? You've got to at least *try* to get away from you once in a while, don't you??

::looks over shoulder::

Shit! There I am again. That's startling.... I wish I would just stop sneaking up on me like that...

Anyway, just to distract ourselves from ourselves - here is today's Brain Bender...


Following the pattern, fill in the missing number below:
  • January 62
  • April 60
  • February 56
  • August ?


Okay then. Now y'all watch out for yourselves! The answer will be found later in the comments. ::steals another glance over the shoulder:: Uh oh... I'm looking pretty shifty-eyed. I'd better be on my guard. I could be armed, you know!

Update: Today's winner and official Smartypants is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind! Whoohoo! Thanks for playin' y'all. You make my day fun... : )

Well, at least it's Wednesday....

Is it just me, or has this week been draaaaaaging?? It's probably just me. But let's see. What's on tap for today??



Uh. Okay. So that's not very promising. But this is!

One thing I am sure I need is one of these bags --->

Heh. False advertising?? Well maybe..... Who am I to judge?

Happy Hump Day...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Learning the art of negotiation....

....the hard way.

A conversation with my youngest.....


A: (arms akimbo, ooozing attitude) So, Mommy. Have you decided yet?!?!?!

Me: Nooooo.... I am still thinking about it......

A: (big petulant whine) Awwww MAN! How long can it take for you to decide???

Me: Oh. I see. You want me to make a decision right now. Okay. The answer is no.

A: ...


The moral of this story?? Don't mess with Momma... I never works out the way you think it will.

Tuesday Twofer...

Why not! It's like a major waste of time at work exercise for your brain cells - and that's good for you, right?? Here are today's Brain Benders...


The students weren't having much luck selling tickets for their class fair, so they decided to lower the price by two dollars. If they sell 210 tickets at the new price, they'll make as much money as they would selling 70 tickets at the old price.

How much was the old price and how much is the new one?

Which is larger: the number of inches in a mile or the number of seconds in a day?


Pretty straightforward, I think. (Especially if you like math...) For bonus points, what do you suppose the biggest draw at the class fair will be?? Anyway, answers will be found in the comments later.

Okay, I'm off.... Dentist appointments and softball games this afternoon. At least it isn't so terribly hot... Have fun!

Update: Today's official smartypants is Oddybobo - the Bobo Blogger! Whoohoo! And Rachel thinks that the Kissing Booth would be the most popular. Do they even *do* kissing booths anymore??? I feel sure that there would be a complaint from some whiner these days... Anyway, thanks for playin' y'all!

Holy crap!

Found over at Trouble's place - this is scarily accurate. Good gray grief!!

Your Birthdate: November 13

You're dominant and powerful. You always need to be in charge.
While others respect your competence, you can be a bit of a dictator.
Hard working and serious, you never let yourself down.
You are exact and accurate - and you expect others to be the same way.

Your strength: You always get the job done

Your weakness: You're a perfectionist to a fault

Your power color: Gray

Your power symbol: Checkmark

Your power month: April

So tell me... Is yours as acurate as mine and Trouble's were?? Wow...

Monday, July 17, 2006

I'd like to get these ice picks removed...


I guess the good news is that it feels like a major front is going to move through - hopefully knocking down some of the $%!# humidity. (It's 89 right now with a heat index of 104 - Gah!!) (updated: It's 97 right now with a heat index of 119 - Double Gah!!!)

The bad news is that I *know* that because it feels like I have ice picks embedded in both of my shoulders with alternating pain and numbness shooting into my hands. (And every so often an invisible sadist steps over and jiggles the damn things.... I call him Baromoto. Bastard.)

After taking a handful of Advil and checking the weather online - my suspicions (owie, owie, owie...) were confirmed. Severe storm watch until 10:00 pm CDT.

No sh*t, Sherlock.

So bring it on, Storm Gods!! Let's get this show on the road before I run out of ibuprofin (or reach around and stab Baromoto with one of these damn ice picks... If I could just get a grip on one....)

(And Heh - spell checker's suggestion for Baromoto was "barmaid." A good suggestion, that...)

It's hot as hell outside...

....all the better to say in and do a puzzler. Ready for Monday's Brain Bender?? Here we go!


Which of the scrambled words below is least like the others? And why?


Okay, you know what to do. The answer will be found in the comments later....

Update: Well, This was interesting. We have three smartypants today! Whoohoo!

First up is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind for coming up with her *own* working answer to today's Brain Bender.

Next, Oddybobo gets kudos for answering corectly - even without the right reasoning (and she posted cutimous pics of her young son swimming today).

And finally, friend and reader Rich Blank posted the correct "why" of it all. Thanks for playin' everybody!!

Just a few snippets from my weekend.....

It was an okay weekend. We could have used a cool front and I am still waiting on my laundry fairy to arrive. But by in large, an okay weekend.

Just for fun, here are some snippets of actual conversations heard in my house....


Me: "So basically it looks like the only place you felt you needed sunscreen is in the middle of your chest?"

WxMan: "I really thought I did a better job..."

Me: "Well, Hon. The burn pattern indicates otherwise. Didn't you ask the girls to help?"

WxMan: "Yeah. They did my back..."

Me: "Huh. Did they use their hands??"

WxMan: ...


"Mommy?!?!?!? Is it possible to DIE from boredness?!?!?!"

(from a conversation with my mom...)

"It's going to be okay, Honey. The good news is that the doctors think they got it all ~ now we just have to decide upon a course of treatment...."


Me: "Hey, A. ??(youngest) Why is your tongue blue?"

A: "What? What do you mean??"

Me: "Your tongue, Honey. Why is your tongue blue?"

A: "I dunno - I'm going outside...."

Me: ... ...


Okay, so I'm naked and dripping having just gotten out of the shower....

A. (bursting into the bathroom going mach 4) : "Mommy!!!"

Me: "Holy crap, Honey. You scared me!"

A: "Sorry!! But, Mommy!!"

Me: "What?? What is it?? What's wrong??"

A: "It's ROASTING outside..."

Me: ...

"And I need to know this right this second, why?"

A: "I dunno. Bye, Mom!"


So here we go. It's Monday. Should I be afraid???

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Down outta the tree...

A new day has dawned and it's time to brush myself off, get centered, and get on with the tasks at hand. (Thanks for the kind comments last night y'all. They were appreciated...)

It's been one heck of a year and for no good reason the hits just keep on coming.

Uncle Ben continues to linger on. It's been nearly two months since they discovered that his cancer had returned with a vengance and he has been hospitalized nearly all of that time. He will not be going home.

He needs constant care and ever increasing morphine but he is apparently not ready to leave this earth. I pray that he does find peace with it soon, however. His agitation (also increasing) and paranoia make being there for him.... difficult.

My mother informed me that he was having a better day yesterday and they are taking one day at a time. Their plan is to be there indefinitely as he could pass at anytime. Uncle Ben will be with people who love him when death comes and that's good, though I know that both my parents are exhausted. And now they are each in turn going to be facing their own issues. ::sigh:: Like I said, the hits just keep on coming.

I am still trying to figure out what the hell I am supposed to "learn" from all of this. It would be nice if everything would just balance out for a while. The realist in me knows that that is not the way of things and I woke this morning with "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World in my head. It's gotta be a sign. (Possibly of insanity, I know.... But I am going to go with it anyway.)

Meanwhile instead of concentrating on all of the crap things that have happened, I am going to try and focus on the good things. Even if I just have to think about homemade macaroni-n-cheese. It's a start. And it's Saturday. I love me some Saturday....

Friday, July 14, 2006

My Dad has cancer...

Shit. My Dad has cancer....

He went through surgery yesterday and damn the luck the "Really - we swear, it's almost always benign..." cyst - wasn't.

My Dad has cancer.

This fucking sucks.

Cancer sucks.

(This post will disappear in not very long at all. I just needed to shake my fists a little. Fuck.)

Just a couple of quick bits...

I am ready to be done for the day...

  • I paid bills today and used leftover Christmas return address labels on them. I don't care if the Water Bill people think I'm crazy. Hell, so what if I am crazy - they got their money.... They should just be happy. So there. :P
  • I tried one of the new "lemonade" flavored Jolly Ranchers while I was paying bills - it still didn't sufficiently mask the $%^# taste of envelope glue. Blech.... (And speaking of blech - the new cherry cola soda Jolly Rancher is just that.... I'd rather lick envelope glue.)
  • My Uncle Lincoln is going to be on CNBC here in about 20 minutes or so on Kudlow. That's always kinda neat...
  • I really wish I was in Chicago at Og Meet. Lots of really neat people are planning to be there and blogmeets are fun.

Okay, that's it. I'm going to go finish loading the dishwasher and take a magazine and a cocktail out to the patio.

Happy Friday y'all.


You hear that? Yeah, me either. WxMan and the kids headed out this morning to have a day of watery fun at Noah's Ark. Heh. I will have the house to myself for the entire afternoon and much of the evening. Excited?? Me???? Oh yeah.....

Anyway, it's Friday and time for the last Brain Bender of the week. Ready to play??


How many common English words can you make from the letters below, using all five letters once in each word?



Okay, that's pretty straightforward. I am off to enjoy the quiet of my house. Hope your afternoon is as delightful as mine promises to be!!

Update: Rachel from Pereiraville and Rave from Quid Nunc share smartypants honors today! Whoohoo!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Ahhh... Sweet romance.....

I was reading this post over at This Mom Blogs and all I could think about was this video I saw a while back...

Oh yeah, I can relate to that.

Much like the last "race to in the bedroom" WxMan and I had recently.

I called him in to help with putting clean sheets on the bed. (It goes sooooo much faster with two people, you know?)

So we're working along, and I keep waiting for the inevitable, "Hey, do you want to break these sheets in later??" kind of question he usually asks. After I get done handing him all of the pillows and pillowcases we each need he says....

"Ready to go???"

And I look at him with a WTF face thinking, "Go where???" When I realize that he is trying to get the pillows into their cases as fast as he possibly can. Oh Shit! We're racing!!

So naturally, being that I am damn near as competitive as he is, I get after it too. I'll go a head and spoil it now.... I soooooo won. Hands down, no question. AND he had a head start! Heh.

So as I did the requisite neener neener boo boo dance while pointing at him, he ceded defeat and left the room with this parting shot...

"Damn, I'm gonna have to work on that. I was pathetic!!"

Go for it, Babe. You can make the bed any time you like. And just for the record? It's dead sexy when you do... Just sayin'....

Tricky Dog...

Well, not this dog.

I asked him if he wanted to play today's Brain Bender and this was the look I got....

Somehow, I am not confident that he will know these words. I appreciate his intensity though!

Are you ready to play? Here we go!!!


Three words with "dog" in them fit the definitions below.

a) opinionated

b) determined

c) poor poetry


Okay. And like always the answers will be in the comments later. I'm going to go get Buddy a cookie now - he's earned it....

Update: The Smartypants award is shared today by Freddie from Warts and All and the illustrious Teresa from Technicalities. Whoohoo!

Meet me in St. Louis....

No, really!

Oddybobo and ArmyWifeToddlerMom are talking about putting together a blog meet in St Louis - last part of September or beginning of October. And it will be a "kid friendly" blog meet to boot!

St. Louis is a great city for kids. The St. Louis Zoo is free and fabulous and when touring Grant's Farm (also free) there are complimentary Anheuser-Busch products served! Always welcome after a busy afternoon!

What better way to spend a lovely fall day than chatting with fellow bloggers and enjoying a day at the Zoo?

So if your interested, go and check out the details (preliminary though they area) here. And let Oddybobo know if you'd like to come too!

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Good evening, Oscifer.....

Just tell me this guy wasn't driving when he got popped. Holy crap!

They may need more than spackle before they get this guy processed. Good Grief!

A word for Wednesday....

Is it just me? Or is this week just creeeeeeeeeeping along. Huh.

At any rate it's once again time to waste time at work/avoid housework exercise those brain cells. Ready??


Fill in the blanks to complete the word below.

P _ _ N _ N _ I _ T _ ON


I think that speed will be of the essence again today. Like always, the answer will appear later in the comments.

Update: Today's official smarytmants is pronounced Oddybobo! Whoohoo!


So how do you deal?

Do you crack inappropriate jokes?? Eat too much?? Sleep to much?? Drink too much?? Work out?? Read?? Move into the "cave of denial"?? Fight with the people that you love?? Go running?? Chocolate??

And what do you do when you start running out of stuff to do?? Where do you start putting the "spill over" stress? And what happens to it when you can't see it anymore??

I know. Lots of questions this morning. I'm relatively okay, I'm just curious...

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

"Nothing like sitting on your big deck looking at Uranus...."

Heh. Indeed. (Has Glenn Reynolds copy written that phrase yet?? Do I owe him money now??)

Just for fun - via email....

I guess size does matter!!

h/t Loretta & Dal

Oh we're cookin' now!!

Here is today's Brain Bender....


What two words, formed from different combinations of the same seven letters, can be used to complete the sentence below.

Every cook must learn to follow complicated __________ in a very __________ manner to get the best results.


Pretty straight forward... I have a feeling that it will be first come first smartypants today. At any rate, the answers will appear in the comments later. See you then!

Update: Teresa from Technicalities is our official smartypants today! Whoohoo! But I have to give some honerable mention props to both Oddybobo and the Omnibus Driver for posting correct answers 1 minute after Teresa. I knew speed would be of the essence... Excellent job, Ladies!

Okay, the date is set....

I finally called and made my appointment to rid myself of this mane I have going....

August 4th is the day. I am actually pretty excited about this. Not that I haven't chopped it all off before - but at least this time I have warned my hubby Wxman ahead of time... And the hair will be going to support a good cause.

The first time was just a few weeks after we were married. I went from this (and I was wearing my hair up)-->

To having a short spikey do. Wxman said all the right things at the time, but I know it startled him to say the least. I am unsure what will prevail this time.

Good grief. Here I am, five o'clock in the morning, writing about hair. North Korea is giving the world a headache, terrorist plots are being hatched, the DU is probably in full froth mode, and I am writing about hair.

Ah well, that's okay. It is something *I* can control at any rate, unlike the others.

And now it's time for me to go "make the doughnuts." (Not really, but I always think that at this hour when I am getting ready to leave the house). Happy Tuesday.

Monday, July 10, 2006

70 minutes....

I've got seventy more minutes.

I took the kids to swim this afternoon and after a quick run to the store I have seventy more minutes of quiet time just for me. Now the dilemma....

Do I blog?? Well, obviously the answer to *that* is yes. But just for a minute or four.

Could I nap? Probably - but I've caught my second wind and I'll be okay.

Do the dishes?? Do more laundry?? Well I probably should. But I don't really want to.

Maybe I should just go and sit on the patio in the nice cool breeze and read my new book. I'm 100 pages into Twelve Sharp and so far it is fabulous! Stephanie Plumb is in her kitchen with Ranger and her car hasn't even blown up yet! There are balls of fire sure to be had there!!

So lets see.... Laundry/Dishes vs. KickAss new book..... Hmmmmm....

What would you do?? I got 60 minutes left....

It's down! It's up! It's down! It's up!

Well, it seems typical for a Monday. Blogger can't seem to decide what it wants to do today - so we'll see. Maybe this will post.... Maybe not.... Good thing it's not Brain Surgery. Just Monday's Brain Bender. Ready???


Find the number that best completes the sequence below.

3 * 7 * 15 * 31 * ? * 127


Also typical of a Monday is me running. Running errands, running the kids around, running myself into the ground, running the house, running my mouth.... Do you 'spoze I can count that as exercise?? That would be nice.....

Anyway, like always the answer will appear in the comments later.

Update: Today's winner and official smartypants is once again T1G from Drunken Wisdom! I guess it's true - beer only kills the weak brain cells.

Whoohoo! And here is his (requested) prize... : ) I may have to go buy more...

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Happy Birthday, Big Guy!!

Soooooo... That 1 Guy over at Drunken Wisdom turns 39 today. Whoohoo!

He was one of my first commenters *ever* and I know him to be an absolute sweetheart (when he's not trying to scare the crap outta me).

A friend suggested that we post some things that will help him through this last year of being in his thirties in style. Oh yeah... I have a suggestion or two...

First, we are definitely going to need some beer - I think this would make for a good start.

Next, we need some Birthday Wishes....

May your head always be warm....

And your women bendy...

Your vistas truly spectacular so you can, ahem... share them with us...

May your travels be speedy and snake free... Unless you want to ride with these gals...

And above all else, may your schute always open to catch you when you fall...

Happy Birthday, Joe!! And I wish you many, many more....

Friday, July 07, 2006

You know, I never know what I'm gonna get....

When I click over to see what Eric the consummate Straight White Guy is up to. And today?? Well today was no exception.

The only difference today was that after shaking my head and muttering "Oh honestly, Eric!" my next thought was, "Wait a minute.... I can play too!"

I was saving this picture for a future post about donating a great length of my hair to locks of love (I have decided to lop it all off - it's been some time coming). I just need to make the appointment.

So here you go, folks... Inspired by Eric - The Back of *MY* Head!

Not too shabby, Eh? And as far as Eric's describing his as "quite a fine pelt" I do believe I have Mr. SWG beat. Just sayin'....

Double Trouble

That was today's "Official MENSA Calendar Title" and is actually a quite accurate description of my day.

I have doubled my kid-age for the afternoon (I'm watching Roses two boys), my work load has definitely doubled having taken last weekend off to play, and now I am just hoping to keep the trouble portion of the day at bay.

Anyhoo, here is today's Brain Bender...


Fill in each blank below with a word that fits the definition on the left when read normally and fits the definition on the right when read backwards.
  • Blemishes ________ Grass
  • Animals ________ Stair
  • Boats ________ Holders for thread


Well, that's not so bad. Like always, the answers will be found later in the comments. I'm off to see if I can get everybody to pretend to be mimes - oh yeah... mimes. That could be fun, right??

Update: Okay, so the "mime" thing didn't work (I know, shocking...) But Tammi That 1 Guy from Drunken Wisdom is today's winner!! And here is *his* smartypants award... Whoohoo!

And I have to give an honorable mention shout out to Mrs. Who - who knew that peeing in the shower could be so beneficial??? Thanks for playin' y'all!


You know, for a "short" week it sure seems to have been a long one. I am ready for some Saturday already.

Wish I could start the day with something witty or even a bit enlightening. Ah well, I guess I'll just have to settle for, "Good Morning. Happy Friday." Here's hoping it's a good one...

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Straw warts....

Eeeeewwww...... Straw warts?? Who wants some of those??

No. Not really. Today's Brain Bender is just a palindrome. And it's always a good idea to lead by example, right?

I know. Straw warts aren't a very pretty example, per se. But hey. I tried! Ready to play? Here we go!


How the young lady replied to her suitor, Ned.

N _ _ , _ _ _ , _ * _ _ * _ * _ _ _ _ _ _ * _ _ N.


I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for the poor guy. If his girlfriend thinks in palindromes, he's bound to be in for a few interesting surprises. Like... "Sex at my gym taxes." Whatever *that* means....

Anyway, as always the answer will be found in the comments later! (And ignore the * thingys - they are there for spacing purposes only.)

Update: Our official smartypants is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind! Whoohoo!

Some funny for a Thursday....

When I moved to my teeny tiny little town in Wisconsin I remember tooling around the downtown area checking things out when I saw a bumper sticker that proudly read:
All I could think was, "Oh thank God. I'm home."

I got this via email today, and it works for me on sooooooooo many levels. Heh.


Olaf & Sven were fishing one day when Sven pulled out a cigar. Finding he had no matches, he asked Olaf for a light.

"Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he replied. Then reaching into his tackle box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.

"Yiminy Cricket!" exclaimed Sven, taking the huge Bic Lighter in his hands. "Vere dit yew git dat monster??"

"Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from my Genie."

"You haff a Genie" Sven asked.

"Ya, shure. It 's right here in my tackle box," says Olaf.

"Could I see him?"

Olaf opens his tackle box & sure enough, out pops the Genie.

Addressing the genie, Sven says, "Hey dere! I'm a good friend of your master. Vill you grant me vun vish?"

"Yes, I will," says the Genie.

So Sven asks the Genie for a million bucks.

The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving Sven sitting there, waiting for his million bucks.

Shortly, the sky darkens & is filled wit h the sound of a million ducks...flying overhead.

Over the roar of the million ducks Sven yells at Olaf. "Yumpin' Yimminy I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"

Olaf answers, "Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat da Genie is hart of hearing. Do yew really tink I asked for a 10-inch Bic??


Heh. Hat Tip to Loretta and Dal... : )

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Time Warp...

Holy cow, the holiday weekend went fast!! Good times.... Very good times...

The Fourth of July is a holiday we do really well around here. Unfortunately, the party has to end sometime. I am up to my eyeballs and playing "catch-up" today, but I have to at least get the time wasteage Brain Benders back up and running. Ready to play?? (Me too, but I have to go and work now, boo...)


Finds the six-digit number in which the first digit is one-half the third and one-fourth the second, the sum of the first and third digits equals the last digit, and the fourth digit is one-half the last and one-third the fifth. The sum of all digits is 32.


Uhhhh... nevermind. My brain hurts just typing that. I think I should go and do laundry or something. *sigh* Y'all have fun... And like always, the answer will appear in the comments later!

(And Blogger is being goofy today - I have no clue when this will post... Grrrrr.....)

Update: That 1 Guy from Drunken Wisdom is today's official smartypants and has requested a beer prize. Whoohoo!! (Man after my own heart, heh.)

Well T1G, I'll tip one in your direction until I have a chance to buy you one.
'Course you're always welcome on my patio...

Thanks for playin' y'all!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy Fourth of July!!!!

One of my favorite holidays EVER. Happy Birthday to the U. S. of A.!!

I've got more cooking to be done, yet another BBQ/picnic to host today, and of course, more fireworks.

(Just between you and me I am pretty surprised that we did not have a visit from the police last night. Especially as the mortar collection called Big Bad Ass was going off. Holy Crap! We had some beautiful big fountains and some lovely artillery shells - Dragon Balls, Mad Bombers, Lucky Ladies. But Big Bad Ass?? They weren't kidding. It was huge!! And seemed to take forever! Today though, everybody still had all of their fingers and I didn't have to post bail last night. Sounds like success to me....)

It's going to be interesting to have to gear up for work tomorrow. But today? Today I'm just going to concentrate on the joy of being an American. I hope that you are having some fun too...

Saturday, July 01, 2006


And company is on the way. Easy company, though - all kinds of friends are coming for the weekend. We are going to enjoy some yummy food, delicious beverages, play a whole bunch, and blow shit up. Doesn't get any better than that, in my humble opinion.

So yesterday and today have been a whirlwind of preparation. The patio's prepped, I've got plenty of beer, wine, and the fixin's for Mojitos. Brats, Dogs, Ribs, Hot Artichoke Dip, Mmmmmmm...

And I would have been in a world of hurt yesterday if it hadn't been for a kind soul who saved my bacon (both literally and figuratively). After I finished dropping big $$$ at the grocery store, I was getting ready to load it all into Hubby's truck (that I never drive). So I opened the driver's door, set my purse on the seat, hit the button to unlock all of the cab doors and shut the door.

You guessed it.

I had locked them all instead. Purse, keys, cell phone.... all of it locked in the truck. And all of my groceries outside of the truck. Arrrrggghhhhhhh!!!!! Can you say despair???

Anyway, a few moments later this very nice man (Rob) pulled up in his Honda Pilot and offered me the use of his phone, and then a ride. He drove me all the way home to get the spare key and then all the way back to the store so I could get my groceries home. So here's a big shout out -
The Fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays. I am ready for a weekend filled with good food, good fun, and explosives. And if you find yourself in my neck of the woods on the fourth - feel free to drop by! Just shoot me an email and I'll give you the particulars.

The parade starts at 1pm and we spend the rest of the afternoon just chillin' and grillin' until it's time to walk up to the park for the fireworks. It's always a great time. Here's hoping that your weekend is a fine one as well. And if you ever lock your keys in you car - I hope a "Rob" is there for you too....