My occasionally snarky thoughts on everything from motherhood, politics, life and current events. Cocktails are sometimes mandatory. Bottoms up!

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Feeling Square?

Today's brain bender will add to that feeling....

Fill in the following word square with one D, one L, one T, two R's, and four O's so that each word can be read across and down.

O _ _ _
S _ _ _
T _ _ _

As always, answer to be found later in the comments.

Notice & Update: Today's smartypants is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind! All right angles, that one!

Also, the daily brainbender will now be posted at noon central time (or darn near -- due to my new "working girl" status...) See you tomorrow!

First Day

Well, someone is finally going to pay me not to blog this morning.... No, not really. But it is my first day on the job. So, some links seem to be in order....
Wit Nit has a great list of H.L. Mencken quotes. My favorite?

Hanging one scoundrel, it appears, does not deter the next. Well, what of it? The first one is at least disposed of.
He also has nineteen pearls of Dave Barry wisdom. Ha! Like...

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

Do you believe in magic? This is really pretty cool. And I have no idea how it is done.


The Tanker Brothers fisk Cindy Sheehan here and here (something I found quite enjoyable). And reason number 2,497 why I have faith that we will win the war...

Cindy Says:
A New World Is Possible -- And necessary! This is the theme for the World Social Forum that I (along with tens of thousands of people from all over the world) am attending in Caracas this week. I know the idea of a world where everyone lives in peace and with justice is very "subversive," but the theme is very close to my heart and soul.

Tanker Brothers Say:
Damn Skippy, we need a New World. A world with justice, where criminals and terrorists who commit crimes against their people won't be let off the hook because some Anti-War Peace Activist doesn't have the "stones" to do the right thing. We need a New World with guys like President Bush calling the shots, showing resolve, and doing the right thing. This should be the theme for your World Socialist (or whatever) Forum. The idea of a world where everyone lives in Peace and with justice cannot happen until criminals and terrorists are eliminated or incarcerated. Only then can you have justice. And as a result...peace.

There's lots more where that came from....

Trouble wrote a letter to her.... uh.... friend. Yeah. Her friend.... Filled with really good advice.


And finally, Robert Fulghum (one of my favorite authors) presents a new theory concerning missing socks...

Monday, January 30, 2006

I Want to Join the Bad Example Clan Because...

Well, Harvey is the whole reason I started a blog to begin with. And let's face it. the B.E. folks have more fun than anybody.

Also, they need me! Who else can call in sick for the entire B.E. clan if the occasion arises... Huh? You can't pass up talent like that! :)

At any rate, it's fun. And I am all about the fun.........

Okay, B.E. Family members -- vouch for/link to me... please?


Mi cuñada es de Culiacan.

And I dreamt we were talking on the phone while I was in a book store looking for something for her, so naturally my entire dream was in spanish.

I suppose I should be thankful that I didn't dream I was being chased by the chupacabra. But still.... Weird.

Brain bender for Monday

Find the word that fits the definitions below when it's 1) a whole word and 2) divided into two words.

1) Whole word: frank and open

2) Two words:

a. container
b. past tense of a verb


As always, answers to be found later in the comments.

Update: Today's smartypants is Bozo!

Sunday, January 29, 2006


Did you ever watch a movie just because of the beauty of the setting?

Today as I clicked around I found Legends of the Fall. And no, I'm not talking about Brad Pitt being the "setting" (frankly, he doesn't do a thing for me.... He can join Russell Crowe in that category....) I'm talking about views like this:

Just goes to show, you can take the girl out of the west. But it's hard to take the west outta the girl....

(And just for the record, I have never made it through LotF without falling asleep -- 'course I was living in Montana when it came out. I was spoiled seeing mountains all of the time....)

Later: And the follow up movie today is Dazed and Confused. It wouldn't seem like a good pairing, but somehow it is....

How scary is this?

I found this while doing some research for another project I am working on...

How frickin' scary is that thing?!? The Chupacabra, my friends. Give me a simple werewolf any day....

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Carnival of the Recipes

Even after a personal invitation from Tritacle -- the wheat/rye guy-- I failed to submit an entry. Well, I've been busy. ;)

Either way, there is a whole lotta yummy to be had. The Carnival of the Recipes is here....

I know that *I* will be trying this hot artichoke and spinach dip and Keewee's hot chicken salad. Nummy...

Oh boy....

PETA isn't gonna like this one bit. Have you heard of trunk monkeys?

How about a trunk monkey chaperone for your daughter? (In about 7 years I want one!)

Or maybe the anti-theft trunk monkey. Oh yeah....

They have several more trunk monkey uses showcased. Great way to waste spend a few minutes.....


Mostly a good day. Some how it makes sense [sarcasm] that the day after the doggies get groomed it freekin' rains all day and turns the backyard into a vast muddy soupy landscape. Wonderful. Usually, I don't start wanting to pave the backyard until March -- lucky me. Spring is early.

Youngest (A) had her pom pon clinic this morning** so the uber moms were out in force. Plumage everywhere, not a hair out of place, trendy mctrendy. Little divas in tow.

Youngest slipped behind me at one point, "Those are the fashionistas, Mommy...." she whispered, pointing. Great. Much as I would have expected they were all dressed to match each other. What is wrong with these moms that feed into this crap?

Anyway, she had a good time and is looking forward to strutting her stuff at halftime of the next H.S. Basketball game. I am curious to see what kinds of activities she chooses as she gets older. I wouldn't have thought cheerleading would have appealed to her....

Eldest (K) could care less. She has spent all day re-coding her web page to display some new art she has created. (Note to Contagion -- A laptop w/ wifi is salvation when you have to share computer time. I'm just sayin.')

And me? I am spending the day in the basement. Hey, I'm just exchanging one shade of gray for another. The frickin' laundry has been breeding again. I don't know how that happens, it just does. I have dressed the place up a little -- I hung the posters today that the girls got me for my birthday. What? Oh... Harry Potter, of course.

**(is it just me? I keep thinking it should be pom pom -- but that's the way they spell it on everything here...)

Retard rater.....

No, not really. Today's brain bender is just a palindrome.
Palindrome: A word, sentence or group of words that reads the same backward and forward.

Time to wake up those surviving brain cells!

Someone who has arrived solo in a city famous for divorces.
R_ _ _ * _ _ _ _ R

As always, answer to follow in the comments.....

Update: Well, T1G is droolin' and Rachel from Pereiraville admits to cheatin.' ;) Happy Saturday y'all...

Friday, January 27, 2006

A funny for Friday...

...and we could all use more funny, right?

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?!"

Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me..."God commented: "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road?!"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally spoke, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Ah, yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous!!"

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to His Celestial super-computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."


What about the men who get to ride both? Is it skill? Or just luck? ;)

h/t Loretta

I'm Hired!!


Nice way to end the week for sure! Just have to pas a few more "tests" (hello -- no problem there....) and I start next week.

Now keep in mind, this is nothing glamorous and it's only part time, but I must admit. I think it is a very good fit. Now it will just be interesting training Hubby to pick up the slack....

Friday's Brain Bender

This one's a little different....

The names of five people are hidden in the sentence below. Can you find them? (The letters are in consecutive order.)

Really, a wanted man fleeing from the police who saw a police car looking for him would run and hide.


Answers to follow in the comments. Happy Friday!

Update: Today's speedy smartypants is Rachel from Pereiraville! Whoohoo! Honorable mention goes to VW from One Happy Dog Speaks and Oddybobo, the bobo blogger.

Thanks for playing, ladies!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Wow! I always wanted to be her....

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman


Iron Man



The Flash

Green Lantern





You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Cool! She was my favorite superhero growing up! 'Course now I have a thing for Wolverine -- completely different motives, though. Heh.

Lifted from Blue Tige.

And now we wait....

The interview went well, I think. Once I got over the fact that the girl woman interviewing me was about 14 ahem... 23, I was all good. (I tried to not make any references to things that she was too young to remember and keep my nervous babbling to a minimum...) Hopefully, I made a good enough impression.

The hours would be a perfect fit. Everyone I have mentioned the company to has only had good things to say about it. So now I just have to wait for them to call me and offer the job....

I hate waiting.....

Oh! And the stove pipe hat was a big hit, Harvey, thanks for the tip.... ;)

Yummy in the mail....

This was in my mailbox yesterday:

No, not the cake (or the mix) itself -- I wish! But that was the picture on the cover of the new Williams Sonoma catalog that came in the mail. And people wonder how you get folks to buy overpriced catalog items? Well, the fact that when you order from Williams-Sonoma it is always delish. And photography like this certainly helps.

You can't look at that and not have some sort of "wow -- yummy" reaction, can you? And the best part? (Or worst -- however you decide to look at it.) Is that I have had that cake. Yesssireeebob. And it is fabulous. Ordered it for Christmas time year before last. Now they send me catalogs quarterly -- a nice little fringe benefit there! (And looking at the picture is calorie free to boot!)

Still, having just one little bite would be nice....

It's Australia Day!

...and I have no idea what that means. That's just what it says on the puzzle calendar. What do Aussies do on Australia Day, I wonder? Ah, through the magic of the internet we can find out!

Australia Day is Australia's official national day, January 26. It commemorates the landing of the First Fleet in Sydney Cove on that day in 1788.

Australia Day is marked by civic celebrations around the country, including Order of Australia and Australian of the Year awards for outstanding achievement.

Fireworks celebrations are held in many towns and cities around the country.

Ahhh, so there are shrimps and barbies and awards and fireworks. Sounds good.

Anyhoo, today's puzzler is a cinch -- first come first serve on this one I think...

1) Add a "P" to a word that means "propel by oars" to find a word for part of a ship.

2) Add an "R" to a word for a farm animal to find a bird.

See? Easy.

So for Bonus Points: How can you physically stand behind your father while he is standing behind you?
As always, answers to be found in later in the comments....

Update: Today's winner (bonus points too) is jvh from Showcase of a Shattered Mind! Whoohoo!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

PS2 Conversations...

(A.K.A. Hubby has the day off...)

Me (From another room): "Hey Babe, how's it goin' in there?"

Hubby: "Googlinburg viking shit..."

Me: "What the hell is googlinburg viking shit??

Hubby: "What?"

Me: "You just said googlinburg viking shit -- what does it mean?"

Hubby: "I said, I just lost the national championship...."

Me: "Oh. Sorry. Well at least that makes more sense..."

Hubby: ...

Married life. It sometimes contains googlinburg viking shit! You just have to know what to do with it....


I blog about my kids, I blog about my hubby, I blog snark and life and occasionally politics, but I have yet to blog about my dogs.

With all of the regular cat blogging that goes on (and this week from an unusual source), I think there should be more dog blogging. To further that goal, I decided that it was time to introduce my dogs.

These are my furry children. Taylor (the blue one) is 12. Buddy is 9. Other than acting as canine doorbells, they generally don't do anything bloggable. (They are Olympic grade nappers though!)

For interesting dog blogging, I suggest you go here. It's technically dogcrapblogging, but it's a great story...

(Oh, and they rarely look that happy to see me -- I'm holding a piece of ham......)

Do you like to play Boggle?

If you do you'll like todays puzzle....

A statement is coiled in the grid below. To spell it out, start with one letter and move to an adjacent letter in any direction. (Hint: Start with an "H.")


Personally, I kinda suck at Boggle. Hope y'all fare better than me!

As always, answer to follow later in the comments.

Update: Today's winner and wearer of the smartest pants is SarahK from Mountaineer Musings! Yay!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Got my first call...

...for an interview.

Man, I hope I don't suck at this....


That's what slows 'em down....

Mom humor:
Me (on the phone with another mom): "Yeah, she is home again today. But at least the carpet cleaning portion of the illness seems to be over..."

Other Mom: "Yeah, those stomach bugs can be nasty!"

Me: "Well, whaddya gonna do...."

Other Mom: "Use duct tape?"

Happy Birthday TNT

One of the bloggers I met at Fritz Fest is having a birthday today!

Happy Birthday to TNT who writes at Smiling Dynamite. Hope you have a wonderful day!

Tuesday's puzzler

Some letters have been removed from the names of the countries listed below. Fill in the missing letters.
  • S_O_ _ _IA
  • _U_E_BO_ _ G
  • C_O_T_ _
  • _I_ER_ _
  • _ _L_Z_


Have fun! Answers to be found later in the comments....

Update: Today's smarty is Rachel from Pereiraville! Whoohoo! Hey, anybody ever visited any of the countries listed?

Monday, January 23, 2006

Things I learned today....

(So far....)

The smell of bleach gives me a headache.

Lipton cup-o-soup (chicken flavor) stains.

I like "Crazy" performed by Seal much better than by Alanis Morissette.

I don't hate cats, necessarily. It's the litterbox that I can't stand.

I need to make more time to read.

Corndogs are really good for lunch once in a while.

Philodendrons may never die, but they can sure look scraggly and weird.

What did you learn today?

quiz me!

Lifted from Sarah's place That's Not Very Nice....

You Are 30% Weird

Not enough to scare other people...
But sometimes you scare yourself.

And the WTF question in this quiz?
4. You would rather be deserted:

O In a foreign country where you don't speak the language
O On a street corner in the inner city

Ooohhkaaay. I am missing some seriously vital information here! Like what kind of weapons am I carrying? What time of day is it? Do I have any cash on me? How about a cell phone?

And are we talking "foreign country" like Italy or Japan? Or like Colombia or Pakistan? "Inner city" like Des Moines or Oklahoma City? Or like East St. Louis or Detroit? There are differences people! I need more visible parameters here!

Anyhoo, 30% weird. That's like weird lite, right?


And I hope that your week gets off to a better start than mine...
Eldest: [whispering] "Mommy!"
Me: [one eye open] "Yes?"
Eldest: "A. (youngest) threw up..."
Me: [ever the optimist] "In a bucket?"
Eldest: "No..... Can I go on the computer?"
Pretty much the only good news here is that she was on the bottom bunk. I know, I'm stretching...

Anyway, here is today's brain bender. First come, first serve today I think!

A well-known statement has been put into more formal language below:

If one attempts to instruct an elderly member of the canine family in order to increase the range of his performance the effort is almost certainly doomed to complete failure.

What is the well-known statement?

As always, answer to be found in the comments.....

Update: Today's Speedy Smartypants (and known dog lover) is Oddybobo! What a winning week she's having, first the Steeler's big win and now this! Happy Monday Oddybobo!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Kids quote of the day...

Youngest said this to me about 3.2 seconds ago...

"You make everything boooring...."

Huh. Well, then. Guess I am doing my job.....

Sheesh, whaddya think they expect? Clowns and fireworks every minute of every day?

Sunday Smarts

C'mon, you know you want to wake those surviving brain cells up.....
The 14 letters below can be anagrammed into a four-word phrase meaning a temporary arrangement.
What is the phrase?


Answer to follow later in the comments.....

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Harvey asks...

Richmond attempts to answer......

It's not as fun as when I answered Oprah's Questions concerning the "whys" of men, but I'll do my best....

Harvey had a post today that posed the question:

Is there a male equivalent to the social pressure that makes a woman get up early on a Saturday morning to drive 30 miles to a Pampered Chef party when she doesn't have even the tiniest desire to buy anything there?

Maybe posting bail at 2am for your friend who just got busted for DUI?

I'd say the male equivalent to that social pressure is when a buddy asks you to stand up with him when he gets married. Posting bail for a friend is completely different...

When you are asked to be a Best Man or Groomsman odds are you are going to spend a whole day (off) in uncomfortable shoes, wearing a rented suit, at church, getting your picture taken, having to interact with a whole bunch of people you don't know.... when you could've been home in sweats watching "the game."

And while there will probably be food and drinks later, there is no guarantee that you are going to get laid when it is all said and done -- while your buddy probably will. It might be somewhat "fun," but if you didn't have to participate, that would be okay too....

Women feel that sense of, "they're my friend and they are doing this so I will suck it up and go..." with more events than men do, that's all.

We get roped into attending baby showers and pampered chef parties and bridal luncheons and and spa parties and Mary Kay demos and all kinds of crap like that. Most of the women I know pretty much hate going to these things (unless it's for something that we are really into), but we do it anyway. It's expected, and just part of the deal. The best you can hope for is that they will serve cocktails and hors d'oeuvres. And that they won't make you play any stupid games...

Good for TNT for going. Hope they at least served good snacks....

Who is it?

Saturday's puzzler...

Sam was atanding at the post office looking at a 'wanted' poster. Someone asked him who the man in the poster was and Sam replied,
"Brothers and sisters I have none, but this man's father is my father's son."

Whose picture was on the poster that Sam was looking at?

Think you know? Leave your answer in the comments! I've got to go shovel some more snow....

Update: Oh crap, my back hurts! Note to self: snow makes things pretty, but it's heavy as hell and I have too many sidewalks and a big-ass driveway... Pass the freekin' advil already!

Anyhoo, T1G from Drunken Wisdom is our official smartypants today, proving once and for all that only the weak brain cells are killed on Friday nights! Whoohoo!

A Question for the Brain Bender Players

SarahK mentioned in comments yesterday that she was concerned that her location on the east coast and housewife status may present her with an unfair advantage when it comes to being the first to answer the puzzles correctly.

I am perfectly willing to change the posting time so more folks can waste time at work play. What say y'all?

Notice to the Internal Clock....

3:22 am is EARLY!

I do not know what you think I need to do, see, or be aware of at this time but for the past 5 days you have made sure that I am ready for it.

Please stop. It is cold and dark at 3:22 am, and there is nothing that I need or want to do at that time other than sleep. Can we please go back to the normal schedule of 6:15 am? Thank you.

--the Management

Friday, January 20, 2006

It's Friday Night....

and I lifted this from T1G at Drunken Wisdom....

Get Your Drunk Personality at!

Oooohkaaay. Well, far be it from me to argue with test results........ I'll attempt to comply (well sorta -- they asked for my gender at the beginning of the test! You'd think they would be able to go with "Alright smart girl." for heaven's sake!!! Or maybe they were confused by this. Or they figured some drunk guy named Rich clicked the wrong button....

Why is it...

That three hours after you have Chinese food you are hungry again? I'm serious! I wanna know! It just seems so unfair....

Update: CalTechGirl left a comment that reminded me that I wanted to post the fortune I got today! ::head slap:: Duh!

A mile walked with a friend contains only a hundred steps.
Isn't that a good one? Even if it is more statement than fortune....

Thanks CTG!

Got your thinking cap?

Good. Put it on....

The opening line of a well-known American novel has had all its vowels removed. Replace them and discover the line.



Okay, as always answer to follow later in the comments. Good luck and happy Friday!

Update: SarahK is both speedy and smart! Whoohoo! And because it's Friday (and I feel like it) I'll give an honorable mention to Ben at the Path Less Traveled. :)


Contagion has tagged me with the meme of four.... Okie doke -- here we go!

Four jobs that I have had:

  • life guard
  • bartender
  • furniture sales/interior design
  • mother/homemaker

Four movies that I can watch over and over again (hard to pick just four...):

  • Forrest Gump
  • The Incredibles
  • Armageddon
  • Fried Green Tomatoes

Four places I've lived:

Four TV shows I love to watch:

  • The 4400
  • Survivor (guilty pleasure)
  • American Idol
  • Grey's Anatomy

Four websites I read daily:

Four places I have been on vacation: (we generally don't "vacation" much -- we just frickin' move to different places....)

  • Disney World and Sea World in Orlando, FL. (I looooooove Sea World)
  • Silvergate, Montana (we honeymooned there...)
  • Sea World (again) for our 10th Anniversary (We went to Discovery Cove too and it was fabulous!)
  • Yellowstone Park

Four favorite Foods:

  • Filet Mignon, medium rare with grilled portabella mushrooms and a bit of Boursin cheese or bourbon pepper sauce. Nummy!
  • My chicken enchiladas
  • homemade macaroni and cheese
  • Artichokes (dipped in drawn butter) and while we have the butter out better include lobster...

Four places I'd rather be: (Physically? Mentally? Emotionally?) I don't know. I like where I live a lot! So.........

  • Curled up in a chair with a blanket reading the next Harry Potter book
  • Snuggled up with my hubby (I can go do that here in a minute....)
  • Sea World playing with the dolphins
  • Camping at Lilly Lake (in the Beartooth Mountains) or by Taylor Creek (just a ways south of Big Sky, MT) Not now of course, Brrrrrrr. But in high summer it's fabulous.

Four people to tag? Well, this is pretty fun. So I'll tag...

Thursday, January 19, 2006

This is pretty accurate....

Wisconsin in Winter

Inundated with Numbers!

What a day for numbers!

First, Trouble suggested that I participate in the Thursday Thirteen (next week -- I promise...) and then Contagion tags me with the "Four" meme. I feel like I am behind on homework!

I'll get crackin' -- just as soon as I catch up!

Thinking on Thursday

Actually, this brain bender is really pretty lame....

Which of the scrambled words below is least like the others?


See what I mean? Lame -o. So for bonus points, another puzzler for you...

Shadow arrived at the hospital to find that Sam Slug, who had been in a coma, died moments ago while under police custody. Officer Bob Slack, who was assigned to guard the door, swore that no one had entered the room since a nurse last checked in on him some two hours earlier.

Aside from an autopsy, Shadow ordered that the hospital room be combed for clues. The only unusual thing found was a waste can containing crumpled pieces of paper, a tongue depressor, a half eaten apple, and an empty cigarette pack. Other than that, everything seemed normal. After the search, Shadow suggested to Officer Slack that he was lying, and that someone had indeed been in the room in the last half hour.

What caused Shadow to draw such a conclusion?


Okay! Answers to be found in the comments later as always....

Update: Today's smarty is Rachel from Pereiraville! :)

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

American Idol

In the name of Brotherhood... (or Sisterhood in my case...)

Note to Garrett from Veteran, Wyoming. You've got our vote, dude. Way to go... ;)

(Keep in mind, I grew up in Wyoming and had to look this place up... Whoa.... Holy middle of Nowhere, Batman!)

Quiz fun

And I need more fun today....

Your Icecream Flavour is...
French Vanilla!
You're a smooth and silky suave type! You exude class and you believe in tradition. A classical taste who doesn't like things to be too flashy or showy. Climb the Eiffel tower of taste with a spoonfull of you! Oui Oui!

What is your Icecream Flavour?

Find out at Go Quiz

Is it just me, or does that ice cream cone look more than a little manic and possibly even psychotic?

Other than that, the desctiption fits me well....

I always knew it was good stuff....

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®. Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

Hmmmm.... I may have to see about refilling that prescription...

Via email h/t L&Dal

Wednesday's Brain Bender

What two words, formed from different arrangements of the same seven letters, can be used to complete the sentence below?

A musical man who tried _______ felt he would have to _______ in order to live where he could hear his favorite music.

Okay. Answer to be found later in the comments....

Update: Today's Smarty McSmarty is SarahK from Mountaineer Musings! (And she said that this one was hard -- guess not that hard!)

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Whatcha been doing?

So... been tweaking the resume. You know, it's harder than I thought it was going to be just gearing myself up for this. (Note to those younger than me -- get your degree. In whatever! Hmmmkay?)

Scoping the want ads, perusing et al, knowing for a fact that I do not want to tend bar ever again.... even though "bending tar" is a big chunk of my employment history...

--Can I get a Sex on the Beach?
**East coast or West coast style?
--Uhhh... how about a Harvey Wallbanger?
**You bet -- pass the Galliano.
--What's that?
**Oh, never mind. Wanna just go with a Whisky Sage? Or how about a Mojito?
--Uh, I'll just have a beer.

Unh uh. The hours just aren't family friendly. Ain't gonna happen.

And I've been out of the pool for a really looooong time. And now I'm trying to figure out just how to make *me* sound good on a piece of paper for a prospective employer. Saying that I am a "domestic engineer" doesn't quite cut it.

**Need to change multiple diapers in a timed event? I'm your girl...
**His parents and yours coming for Christmas? I can help you...
**Need to plan a birthday party for 15 five year olds? I got 'cha covered....
**How do you get crayon out of laundry or off of walls? You know I can...
**Hubby needs to host an event for 50 over Labor Day weekend? No prob....

How many words per minute do I type? I have no freeking idea. Prior work experience? Well, it was 10+ years and multiple states ago -- to be honest, I can't even remember some of the names of the people I worked for! You want addresses and phone numbers? Good grief! Some of these folks might even be dead!!! It was 10 years ago! Do I have skills that would apply? Probably.... I just don't have a clue how to best present them.

Part of me just wants to be able to write,

"Hi! I'm a responsible grown up. I am reasonably intelligent and I have no trouble working hard. I am good at multitasking, organization, maintaining a schedule, and I play nicely with others.

I feel confident that I will be a better employee than I was in 1994 -- and just between you and me? I was a pretty damn good employee in 1994. So there's that. "
Anyhoo, that's what I have been working on. Fun? Well, no. But I look forward to getting to the end result here....


So, just in case you wondered, the "brain bender of the day" started because I picked up a discount MENSA puzzle calendar and decided to share. I do not write/come up with the questions. I say this because... well... today's question? It's interesting....

Start with the number of Apostles in the Bible, subtract the cube of 2, add the number of Greek fates, then add the number of the winds, in popular parlance.
What number do you get?

Interesting mix, eh? Yeepers! Answer to be found in the comments.....

Update: We have our official smartypants for Tuesday. Let's hear a round of applause for T1G from Drunken Wisdom! Whoohoo!

Monday, January 16, 2006

Boyish? Me??

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

Found over at VW's place One Happy Dog Speaks. Huh, can't say that I am overly surprised with the result. I've always been comfortable hangin' with the guys.

It was the #4 question that got to me...

4. You'd be more upset if your sweetie:
-- Fell in love with someone else.
-- Did something physically with someone else.

I'm supposed to pick one of those answers? Which would I be more upset with?? Are you kidding me? BEYOND upset, people. I'd be waaaaaaaaay beyond upset. And which answer is supposed to be the more "girly" of the choices, anyway?

If you want a female's perspective there should be a third choice:

-- or would you just kill the cheating bastard?

Best Blond Joke....

...I've seen in ages!
Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde.

He immediately turns to her and makes his move."You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff--grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."

"So tell me," says the blonde,"How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you clearly don't know shit?"

h/t Dave and April :)

Thinking on Monday?

Monday's Brain Bender:

There is a town in Northern Ontario where 5% of all the people living in the town have unlisted phone numbers. If you selected 100 names at random from the town's phone directory, on average, how many of these people selected would have unlisted phone numbers?


Answer, as always to be found later in the comments.

Update: Today's winner is the lovely and talented newly Mrs. SarahK from Mountaineer Musings!

3:09 am

A conversation...

Me (one eye open): "Hey..."

Hubby: "Hey..."

Me: "Wow, it's really late..."

Hubby: "Yeah...."

Me: "So, was it fun?"

Hubby: "Well, winning helped."

Me: "You won? That's great...."

Hubby: "And making (insert bosses name here) stay up and have to watch us play was pretty worth while -- he went all in and lost pretty early on..."

Note to the bossman -- don't mess with "family time." We'll take your money and make you watch.... Heh.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

A question....

Okay, given tonight's movie viewing...

Dr. Jean Grey or Storm ??

Cyclops or Wolverine ??

And why.... ??


Need a laugh? Head on over to Overheard in New York...

Man: Oh my god, there's a spider in my salad.
Woman: What? That's not a spider.
Man: Well, it's either a spider or four pubic hairs tied together in a knot, neither of which I am willing to consume.

--T.G.I. Friday's, East 42nd Street

Guy: This remake of King Kong was a good movie; did you ever see the original?

Girl: Yeah, I didn't know it was a true story.
--42nd & 8th

Remember, watch what you say. You never know who might be listening....

(Boy am I easily amused today!)

Sunday Puzzler

If three men can paint a wall in an hour and a half, how long will it take nine men to paint six walls?

And when they are done could they come on over to my house? I have some painting they can do here....

Answer to be found later in the comments, as always.


Just going to be a quiet catch up day for me and the kids. Getting ready for next week. Back packs ready to go, laundry caught up, school forms prepped, lunch schedule checked (dang -- looks like I'm going to be packing lunches again next week...)

Youngest wants to participate in the Pom Pon clinic they have every year for second and third graders. Eldest does not -- but then, she did it last year. She says she doesn't want everybody looking at her again. Okay, fair enough. Youngest is psyched, though. 'Course I think if she could go neon at will she would -- just to get people's attention.

Hubby has that #*$%ing "mandatory poker tournament" to go to tonight so we won't be seeing him at all today. Harrumph. Still pisses me off....

And not much else is trippin' my radar. Really. I think I may just make today a big cooking day. I have a roast to cook and I need to make some more soup stock. Youngest put in a request for brownies yesterday. Mmmmm... brownies....

I haven't participated in the Carnival of the Recipes for a while, but it's up. (And looks delicious, par usual) Maybe I will get motivated to post something yummy to enter for next week.

So that's it! Let the games begin!

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Remember when...

Saturday was just the best day of the whole week? Cartoons in the morning and a whole day of just goofing off stretching out before you? I do...

The girls still have it pretty good -- Saturday morning cartoons are not as magical for them as they once were for me. They have cartoons to watch 24/7 now. Progress? Maybe. But I'm a nostalgia girl. I miss the magic.

Eldest has a birthday party to go to today, so she is pretty excited about that. The new BP fad is having your party at a local hotel with a pool. All the kids get to swim, and moms don't have to bust ass cleaning the house just so a bunch of 9 year olds can show up and destroy it. Seems like a win win situation, I suppose.

Anyhoo, that's my day today. Eldest to party, grocery run, housework, all of the usual stuff. I am presently working on reorganizing the office -- I have a veritable TON of shredding to do. Gathering up documents in preparation for doing our taxes, blech.... hate that. The sun is going to shine, though. And that is definitely a good thing.

And I guess this is good to know...
Your EQ is

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!
51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.
71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.
91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.
111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.
131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.
150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

Well, better to land on your butt than on your face, Right? Happy Saturday!

Saturday Smarts?

Well, we'll see...

Each of the following words can be rearranged into a different means of transportation. Can you find them all and ride off happily?

And since it's Saturday, how about a two-fer....

There are two airplanes heading straight toward each other. One plane is traveling at 15 kilometers per minute, and the other is traveling at 10 kilometers per minute. Assuming that the planes are exactly 1000 kilometers apart, what distance will be between them one minute before they meet?

Holy crap, who cares!?! Where is air traffic control here?!?! Sheesh!

As always, answers to be found later in the comments...

Friday, January 13, 2006

Hidden Talent?

Who knew?

Your Hidden Talent

You're super sensitive and easily able to understand situations.
You tend to solve complex problems in a flash, without needing a lot of facts.
Decision making is easy for you. You t path is always clear, and you're a bit of a visionary.
Hmmmmm sounds a bit like me I suppose....

h/t Alli at Fox Rants

Double Trouble

Today's brain bender....

Fill in each blank below with a word that fits the definition on the left when read normally and fits the definition on the right when read backwards.

  • A legal term ______ Horse's gait

  • A specific location ______ Highest points

  • A vegetable ______ Part of a boat

As always, the answer will be posted later in the comments. Happy Friday!

Update: Today's official smartypants is SarahK of Mountaineer Musings fame! Whoohoo!

Mini Mart Princess

I've been thinking about going back to work of late. Ever since hubby's unexpected job change back in September things have been, well, different. And with the girls being a little older and in school full time now, I figure I can dust off my resume and take a little of the pressure off.

So I have been perusing the job market. In order for this whole thing to work, the type of position I will be looking for will have to either be only during school hours (with summer and all school vacations off), a position where I can work from home, or something 3rd shift.

So I've been reading the want ads and thinking about what it would be like to work nights again when WHAM. It hit me. I remembered the best way I had been asked for a date. Ever.

Some background:
About a bajillion years ago, in a place far, far away... I took a job to supplement my college existence. I worked at the Mini Mart right near Montana State University. Thursday - Sunday 11pm to 7am shift.

Got the most interesting customers too -- a real slice of humanity visits the Mini Mart in the middle of the night. You got the stoners from Langford Hall -- pooling their quarters for nachos and trying to act straight, The guys headed for "home" on dates nervously (and more often, drunkenly) snagging a box of Trojans, there was "road rash guy" (a rather unlucky bicycling enthusiast), all of the area cops, people playing "beat the clock" with liquor sales, normal folks, crazy folks, just folks. And me. Nineteen or twenty years old and a captive audience behind the counter.

And I got hit on. A lot. It was to be expected I guess, if for no other reason than my "captive audience" status. The general inebriation of many of my male customers contributed to getting hit on too, 'cuz if you don't ask the answer is always no. Right? And I will admit. I was pretty cute. Not drop dead gorgeous by any stretch of the imagination. But pretty damn cute at 2 am on a Friday night.

I had made a deal with myself early into this gig that I would not under any circumstances accept any kind of a "hey, you wanna go out sometime??" proposals just because I happened to be the only upright female for a 3 mile radius at 3 am on a Saturday night. Wasn't. gonna. happen.

Until it did....

There was this guy that would come in on Friday or Saturday nights. Completely unremarkable except for the fact that it was always like 3am and he was always sober. After long lines of drunk people cross your path, the sober ones stand out, I'm tellin' ya...

He was maybe 5'10" blondish, glasses, medium build. Generally pleasant. Fairly nice looking. A nice guy. And one night, right after he paid for his skittles and coke he pulled from his pocket a gift. And laid on the counter a cassette wrapped in a single page of hand written sheet music.

"Here." He said "I wrote this for you."

Then he left.

And damned if he hadn't written me a song. No singing, mind you. Turns out he was a pianist, studying for a music degree at MSU. He had written me a song and recorded it for me.* (This was above and beyond -- there was no casual CD burning in 1990.) So, after listening to that fine piece of music and getting advice from all of my friends (can you imagine the oooohing and awwwwing over *that* ladies?) well, what is a girl to do?

The next weekend when he came in, he asked me out.

And I said okay.

There's no happy ending here. I have no idea where he is today. But I can say that that was far and away the best "date askin" I ever got. Really, bar none.

He also played in a band. If you are ever in Montana and get a chance to go listen to the Loose Tubes play, GO. They do a fantastic version of Mustang Sally. (Or at least they did.) And I can vouch for the key boardist's hands. He knows what he's doing... ;)

*Am I the only one? Probably not. But it was nice none the less....

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Brain Bender for Thursday

Charlie went out to buy some tools. He spent half the original amount plus $10 for a drill, half of what was left plus $4 for a sander, then half of what was left plus $2, leaving him with $6.

How much did he start with?

Gah! Okay. Rules same as always. Post your answer in the comments...

Update: We have a early winner today. The smartypants award goes to Rachel from Pereiraville!

The "buzzypants" award can be read about below....

Note to self part 2

[text] A woman collapsed in a supermarket when her vibrating panties made her faint with pleasure.
The kinky 33 year old housewife was wearing a pair of battery operated Passion Pants, bought from a sex shop while she did her shopping, according to the British tabloid The Sun. But she got so stimulated by the 6cm vibrating bullet in the panties that she lost consciousness.
She fell and hit her head in the crowded supermarket in Swansea, Wales. When paramedics arrived, they found her black imitation leather knickers still buzzing. They took them off before an ambulance took her to hospital. The woman, whose identity has been kept private, suffered no long lasting ill-effects. And as she left the hospital a paramedic gave her back the Passion Pants in a plastic bag. A spokesperson for the Asda supermarket chain told the Sun: "We like to think shopping with us is exciting enough already."

There's a lesson to be learned here, I think....

Possibly more than one...

h/t L& Dal

Note to self...

(via email)

A middle aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital.

While on the operating table she has a near-death experience. During that experience she sees her guardian angel and asks if this is her time. The angel says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live.

Upon her recovery she decides to just stay in the hospital for a few more days and have a facelift, liposuction and a tummy tuck. She even has someone come in and change her hair color! She figures since she's got another 30 or 40 years she might as well make the most of it.

She walks out the hospital after the last operation and is killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrives in heaven again, sees her guardian angel and says, "I thought you said I had another 30-40 years!!"

The angel replies, "Sorry. I didn't recognize you."

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Doggie Wisdom for a Wednesday

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout..! run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Good advice there, I think....

h/t Loretta

Beaver Dam

Have a business meeting today in Beaver Dam -- never been.... But the name conjures up images of a downtown comprised of sturdy (yet random) piles of sticks. We shall see...

At any rate, here is today's brain bender!

Which is larger: the number of inches in a mile or the number of weeks in 1200 years?

Answer to follow in the comments!

Update: Bigdocmcd had our correct answer today (hmmmm... I am seeing a trend here! )

The number of inches in a mile is 63,360 vs. 62,400 weeks in 1200 years.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

And ...cue the SUN!

Oh freekin' hooray! The sun is out! The sun is out!! I don't even remember the last time we had a whole day of sunshine! That's what the weatherguy predicted anyway -- and he should know!(There goes my chronic optimism again... It's only 9am. This could soooo change...)

Don't have a thing to write about -- which I guess in some ways is a good thing. Fritz Fest is still front and center in my bloggable gray matter. Time to move on with other things, I know...

I wish I could make ironing funny to write about...

Oh well, I am going to go soak up some vitamin D and try to improve my humor. Speaking of humor, this made me giggle. Not very PC but hey, I hate political correctness....

Tom Swifty...

...defines our brain bender of the day.

First unscramble the letters in each word below, then unscramble the word order to create a Tom Swifty sentence.



As always, the answer will be posted in the comments!

Update: Rachel of Pereiraville is first today with the right answer! :)

Monday, January 09, 2006

Fritz Fest '06

Note to self.... blog meets are fun!

You know, I wasn't sure what to expect. I mean, I have read about other blog meets (and had been invited to one I couldn't attend) but you never know until you get there just what it is going to be like. All I can say, it that it's great. Really.

Once I got to Fritz's Wooden Nickel, it was all good. I only got sorta lost one time on the way (which is a miracle for me and an absolute testament to T1G's directions and yahoo maps) and once in the door I have to say that everybody was extremely welcoming.

Right away, people started coming up and introducing themselves. I got to meet...

Contagion from Miasmatic Review and his most lovely wife Ktreva. Lemmee tell you, Contagion (especially while wearing a traditional Kilt) is SHY*. Painfully, totally SHY*. I have no idea how he manages to survive in society at all! You can just tell that being around people pains him completely. I feel totally honored that he *almost* made eye-contact with me.... Poor guy....

His lovely wife Ktreva, however, really put me at ease. She was so very kind and chatty and welcoming. Being around her is like discovering a really warm sunny spot. Such a nice thing to find when you have "stepped out of your box" and are trying to figure out your place and somebody draws you up a chair. Great lady.

I met That 1 Guy, of course. I picked him out of the crowd right away. And I can definitely say that he is a wonderful host. Not only did he gather a terrific group of people together, he knew just how to "ring the bell" and get us all on the same page in short order. Drunken Wisdom? Yes, and a gentleman of the highest caliber.

I finally got to meet Tammi, from Tammi's World. She was having a great time chatting folks up and she and Teresa told story after great story during dinner. Tammi's a great sport, and it shows.

Teresa from Technicalities is just soooo nice and personable. It was really great to finally have the opportunity to visit with her. She has always been so kind and helpful in her comments here and she is just as charming in person.

Then there was TalulaZephyr from Love and Koolaid Stains. I didn't get to visit with her much but I can tell you she has a great smile and an infectious laugh to go with her sharp wit.

And there were The Freedom Folks. Nice, nice people. I didn't get to visit with the husband (jakejacobsen) as much but I did spend some time chatting with his wife (thebaldchick). Turns out that she and *my* husband attended rival high schools in England of all places. Just shows what a small world we live in.

I spoke at some length to Leslie of Leslie's Omnibus -- super nice lady with definite opinions. Oh, and she is even more witty and funny in person than on her blog. I also got to meet Buckaroo Bonsai. They are quite a pair.

I briefly met Og from Neanderpundit and got to spend a bit more time visiting with Graumagus of Frizzensparks. The bits of conversation I managed to get in just made me hope to have another chance to visit with both of these gentlemen in the future. Grau mentioned something about having been as a**hole of late, but I don't believe him. I found him to be very sweet.

I was able to meet Blake from The Laughing Wolf and his descriptions of the goings on at Wolf Park made me want to make the trek down to see these majestic animals even more. He is a great storyteller. How many people do you know that have been "goosed" by a wolf? Exactly.

I also got to meet Sarah, Harvey's formerly "blogless" niece who writes at That's Not Very Nice. She was really personable and funny. And even offered up a post buffet dessert solution, "Hey, you want me to get you some packets of butter and sugar?" Hilarious!

Of course, there is always one "foot in mouth" moment, isn't there? For me, naturally it had to be when I introduced myself to Matt, aka Blackfive. His was one of the first blogs I read daily and I have been a regular reader for 2+ years. He has dome some really amazing things and brought such a positive spotlight onto America's service members.

Anyway, I said something about his being famous and after some serious eye-rolling between he and Harvey, he politely excused himself. Ah well. He did say that the MilBlogging book was coming along well. I will be looking forward to seeing the end product -- given his writing and vast MilBlog connections I know that it is going to a great book. It was terrific to meet him.

Last but not least, I finally got the chance to meet Harvey of Bad Example fame and his lovely wife TNT who writes at Smiling Dynamite. Those two were both sooo nice and not surprisingly, great to visit with. They truly compliment each other.

At any rate, Harvey is the reason that I have a blog at all, thanks to his handy dandy series of How To Blog and Blogging Tips posts that gave me the tools. His blog is another one of those daily stops that I have been reading for ages and it was ever so nice to actually get to meet him and say so. Thanks again, Harvey!

So that's about it. I had a wonderful time. I can't recommend Fritz's Wooden Nickel enough -- the staff, food and atmosphere were top rate. ('Course the atmosphere may have had something to do with the people that were there yesterday.....) I can see why T1G chose that particular location. It's a bit off the beaten path, but well worth your time.

Also I need to say a big Thank You to the "Anonymous Benefactors" (as the bartender referred to them) who picked up the bar tab. Thank you very much.

And another big Thank You to That 1 Guy for putting the whole thing together. It was a great party -- I only wish I could have stayed longer.

**And if Contagion is shy? I'm a two headed pygmy. He was extremely entertaining to be around though, and I learned lots of quilt ahem, I mean Kilt etiquette....

Today's Brain Bender

Find the six-digit number in which the first digit is one less than the second,
the third digit is half the second,
the fourth digit is three times the third,
and the last two digits are the sum of the fourth and fifth.

The sum of all the digits is 24.


Ugh! My brain hurts just writing that! As always the answer will be up this afternoon. Good luck!

I'm going to go back to working on my Fritz Fest '06 roundup now....

Update: And the winner is Og (Neanderpundit)! Brainy even post Fritz Fest... :)

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Funny for Sunday

...via email


1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women don't know each other.

h/t Loretta :)

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Oh well....

...So much for the sunshine. The vast blanket of gray has descended again. At least we got to see that the sun is still there for a couple of hours this morning! And tomorrow I *still* get to go and meet a bunch of cool bloggers... So it's all good. Right?

Anyway, to distract from the crappy gray outside here is today's brain bender....
Rearrange the words below to form four male names.

Rice Dolly Sinned Anvil

As always, answer to be found later in the comments!


Well the party has ended over at Tammi's World (note to self -- do NOT lose bets with bloggers... Do NOT lose bets with bloggers!) And it looks like she's got her place all cleaned up! Just in time for....


That 1 Guy at Drunken Wisdom has put together quite the shindig replete with a yummy menu, cocktails, and bloggers from every direction. Even with computer issues he has managed to get this whole deal pulled together! The best part is that I get to go too!! Whoohoo!

The sitter is booked, I've got my map and directions printed out, Harvey over at Bad Example supplied a phone number for Fritz's Wooden Nickel (just in case those of us who are super directionally challenged get really lost...) so I am all set!

This is going to be great! I can think of no better way to knock out the gray weather Wisconsin blahs. I bet That 1 Guy has even arranged for this sunshine I awoke to just to set the tone! (Well, okay, maybe not...) Either way, I am looking forward to this little party for sure!

Now, if I can just manage to not get lost....

Friday, January 06, 2006

Crack the Code...

Today's brain bender....

A simple substitution code has been used to conceal a "quote." Work out the code to decipher the original words.


Any ideas? Leave them in the comments. I'll post the correct quote this afternoon.

Happy Friday!

Update: Today's official smartypants is bigdocmcd with the correct answer. The quote is in the comments but Q = P, F = E cracks the code. :)

Thursday, January 05, 2006

This *never* bodes well....

"Mommm! We need needle nosed pliers..............!!!!!


Why in the name of all that is holy is Richard freeking Simmons making the talk show rounds this week???

Do I need to see or hear little Richie ever again?? Is this a part of some super secret PMS plot along with the gray crap weather to make me kill someone??? What? Is there some divine contract saying that in order for the new year to "officially" start we must be subjected to our annual dose of R.S.???

This is the kind of stuff that will drive me to go to the DU to learn to make a gotdamned tinfoil hat....

There should be warnings, people! Ahhh. My eyes!

Update: Between this crap and the media ghouls circling the bereaved families in West Virginia -- "journalists" so falsely somber and vying to get the saddest sound byte or (ghoulish fingers crossed) the grail -- one for the reported "notes" written to family members by the dying miners....
I'm turning it all off today. Enough.

Today's Brain Bender

What two words, formed from different arrangements of the same five letters, can be used to complete the sentence below?

The young writer _____ for years until he is recognized and his _____ are published.


As always leave your guesses in the comments. I'll post the answer this afternoon. (Hey, it's kinda fun feeling like Alex Trebek...)

Update: Today's correct answer was provided by the author of Pereiraville! Whoohoo!

Wednesday, January 04, 2006


The new... 'er... gray.

I am telling you, I don't think that we have seen the frickin' sun in Wisconsin in at least 2 weeks. Just gray, gray, gray, and occasionally some rain. Boo.

And now there isn't even snow to at least make the place look frosted and welcoming! Just mud. Soupy, icky patches of mud occasionally surrounded by filthy nasty ice mounds. Yuck.

And just in case you don't have enough time in your day to appreciate the mud that is outside, the mud will come inside via dogs and kids. Wonderful. Now I get to spend some more time cursing the kitchen floor.

What person (and I am confident that a y chromosome was involved) thought that:
a) white linoleum would ever bee a good idea?!? Or that
b) the best places for it would be high traffic areas?!?!

Stupid floor. So that's my day, today. Scrubbing floors, folding laundry, and cleaning bathrooms. Later as a "high point" I get to drag my chubby a$$ to the gym and look at the muddy gray ick while strapped to a treadmill (that I am not entirely sure isn't trying to kill me....)


What? I'm in a good mood! Why do you ask? Oh all right, I'll put the hatchet down.... A mop *would* work better, I guess. (Not nearly as satisfying, though....)

I hope that your day at the very least includes some sunshine as all of this causes me to ask, "Is it cocktail hour yet?"

Today's brain puzzle

Another gray dreary, drippy day here today. And I have a TON of housework to do (can you say muddy paw prints? I can....)

So fresh from my fun new "don't let your brain go to mush" calendar we have today's puzzle:
Jim is four times as old as Jerry. In four years, Jerry will be half as old as Jim is now. Two years ago, Jim was seven times as old as Jerry.

How old are they now?

Feel free to leave your guess in the comments. :) I'll post the answer this afternoon!

Update: Today's correct answer was provided by bigdocmcd!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006


The Good News? All of the 2006 calendars are at least 40% off.

The Bad News? No stores really have any left.... ::sigh::

Between Wal-Mart, Target, and Shop-Ko the pickins were slim. Really, really cheap! But slim....... At one point I thought I was going to have to go with an Anne Geddes calendar or one that was all about quilt patterns or fuzzy kittens. Ack!

I finally found one with pictures of National Parks -- that'll work. And a handy desk calendar with a "brain puzzler" for each day. Here's the one for today:
What four-letter word can be placed in the blanks below to make three different words?

  • ____BEAR
  • ____NSIC
  • ____CLOSE

So there you go, brain food. I'll post the answer in the comments later. MENSA here we come!

Monday, January 02, 2006

The Girl's New Game....

Okay, so this is new.

They are stalking us. Stalking and giggling. As I do dishes or check email or read my book and hubby "bonds with his chair" while watching the game, they peek around corners, skulk through rooms, point, giggle, and when seen (by us) they scamper away laughing hysterically.

Should I be worried???

Packing up

Time to put Christmas away. The house always looks so bare after all of the pretty cheerful things go back into storage. Less cluttered and cleaner, yes. But a bit bare none the less. It makes me better understand those folks that leave a tree up year 'round and decorate it for every season. Obviously I'm not there yet, but I can understand the motive. Perpetual cheer. (Even if it is a little tacky....)

Just to complete the depressing feel of putting the Christmas away, it's raining today too -- with thunder no less. Hello! It's Wisconsin?! In January!?! There should be NO rain thankyouverymuch. Snow, yes. Rain, no. And the thunder gives the whole thing a little armageddony feel. The last thing you want to think about is the possibility of Armageddon while you're putting away the holiday decor. Sheesh! Think I'll be playing some big band music while I pack up Christmas. You can't have Armageddon when Glen Miller is playing, it's a rule.

So that's it for me. The kids skipped brightly out the door to go to school this morning. Ready to compare notes with their friends, I imagine. Hubby is off so he will be available to help me wrestle the Christmas tree back into the basement. It's all good. Well, except for the pouring rain and thunder. Somebody would have mentioned if it was going to be Armageddon today, right? Surely it would have at least been in the paper..........